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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For husbands ex to be mentioned at FILs funeral

155 replies

Mama1209 · 13/09/2024 10:54

I’ve been with my husband for 11years, we have a child together. He split from his ex 15yrs ago who he also had a child with. All is very amicable. Sadly my FIL has just passed away. MIL is having a separate funeral car for her grandchildren and their mums (her sons ex’s) fine, I get the children who are teenagers may want their mums with them. Now she tells me, along with me her DIL being mentioned in the eulogy, my husbands ex will also be mentioned/ thanked and my BILs ex. AIBU to find this embarrassing and upsetting? It’s bad enough she’s there for every family event and occasion and I put up with this for the sake of my stepchild and to keep things civil and tell myself she was part of their family, it’s nice to stay in touch etc. I’m just going to be publicly mortified in the church when this is read out and people will be wondering who she is and why she’s being mentioned. Very interested to see what people have to say about this, but please be kind I’m going through a hard time as it is!

OP posts:
Flossyflop · 13/09/2024 10:58

Kindly, it’s not about you, it’s about a fitting send off and eulogy for the person who has passed and their family who are arranging it. If they feel it’s fitting to have the ex’s close with the grand children and also mentioned in the eulogy then that’s their choice.

FrogFreg · 13/09/2024 10:58

I don’t really understand how that’s mortifying for you? If I was at the funeral I’d think it was nice that it’s an amicable family, and not think anything negative towards anyone.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 13/09/2024 10:58

She's the mother of one of his grandchildren.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 13/09/2024 10:57

She's the mother of their grandchild too. Why should she be erased?

Mrsttcno1 · 13/09/2024 10:56

Of course she’s there for every family event, she’s part of the family, and so as such will also be in the eulogy. She gave them a grandchild and was part of their lives for presumably a long time, she has as much right to be included there as you do. I’m sorry it’s a tough time for you but this really isn’t a big deal x