For husbands ex to be mentioned at FILs funeral

I go to my ex's family events, he comes to my family events. I have been helping his mum and dad while his mum going through chemo. In fact even my partner has been helping and going to events as well. I go to my partners family events and also to his ex's family events.

Why wouldn't we. It shows the kids that just because we don't love each other anymore we're still a partnership for them.

It also shows them that it's okay to have a relationship with mum or dad's new partner and their family and it's not betraying their parents!

You are being unreasonable. This is about your father in law and not about you (said gently). If it’s all amicable I don’t see why you feel this way

@RareLemur I love the name!

Not about you love!

Mature

Are you old enough to actually have multiple children with multiple men and have been with the current one 11 years?

Why are you making someone else's funeral about you? Give your head a wobble.

Firstly, I’m sorry for your loss. Kindly, you should be more mortified if they didn’t mention her. She’s the mother of one of your husbands children, and one of their grandchildren - what a wonderful thing it is that they kept her involved as part of the family instead of trying to erase her and keep the grandchild around.

This really isn’t about you, and I highly doubt that the guests won’t know who she is - she’s important enough to include in the eulogy.

fils friends will know she once was his daughter in law , and mother to his grandchildren. you can’t erase her existence

Hmm the fact you apparently have multiple children with multiple exes night explain why you can't understand the fact your DH's family still see ex as part of the family

It's good you took on about FIL's funeral but she's not "just" an ex. She's the mother of his children. She should be mentioned at his funeral.

No nerves hit here, however you on the other hand.....

my husbands ex will also be mentioned/ thanked and my BILs ex. AIBU to find this embarrassing and upsetting

Im just going to be publicly mortified in the church when this is read

thank god I posted it and didn’t say anything! I actually feel better about it now that people have explained

Your first attempt at belittling her
they weren’t married for clarity

Your second attempt No certainly won’t be listing my husbands ex girlfriends at his funeral lol

Your third attempt For clarification, my step daughter won’t remember her mum and dad being together because she was a newborn when they split

Your fourth attempt just think she should have taken a step back when they split up (though this isn't your call, your boyfriends family consider her family still because she is the mother of their grandchildren)

Your fifth attempt
Do I wish she had been respectful like me and took a step back when they split up? Yes she's obviously remained as close as they've allowed her to be. Do you also feel "disrespected" by your boyfriends family because they've maintained a relationship with the mother of their grandchildren?

Every single post said you were unreasonable, and pointed out why yet you've taken the hump with my replies?

This reply says more about you than mine do about me and probably forms the reasons for you having to be managed before a funeral

Are you an ex girlfriend? Sorry if this has hit a nerve with you luvvie big hugs x x

I don't think you're as nice and kind as you imply you are, look how quickly you turned on here.

Yes leave the thread now with your advice Op. Some people don't know when to stop.

You should have hidden the thread when you said you were. It's not going to get better from here.
Good luck though.

Apart from on here where you've attempted to minimise her and rather than treating her for her what she is.

You can't even show her respect by calling her the mother of his chidlren and refer to her as his girlfriend

So are you going to be equally annoyed if your Husband goes to her funeral and is mentioned in the eulogy?

Everyone is giving examples and reasons as to why you are being ridiculous about his being mentioned yet you still think you're not.

There's obviously a lot more gone on which is why you've had to be pre warned that his ex is being mentioned. Are they expecting you to cause a scene?

I've never known anyone have to be wanred about someone's eulogy before

You are being very unreasonable. My brothers ex came to my dad’s funeral and we were very touched she came. My brothers new wife was very civil and they all had a nice conversation and my brother thanked her for coming. Family funerals aren’t the time for this. You’re being very unreasonable. She was a big part of their life too

This.

Except she has confirmed she won't even acknowledge her step children's mother if their Dad passes away first and erase her like she didn't exist

This is why step parents get a bad rep

Even though she's the mother of his children who will be there?

Wow. What an I reading how very very odd.

You do understand this is her kids family, their aunts, uncles and grandparents, she isn’t just fronting up as she’s some weird loner. She’s turning up to support her children in a continuing relationship with their family.

you Do not come across well. I do think this is about deep seated jealousy and insecurity.

If you think I'm making things up, you're clearly not reading properly before replying?

CLEARLY your husband isn't dead.

When he does die, no-one will be expecting you to 'list his ex girlfriends 'lol' .

It was the 'ex girlfriends lol' that makes you sound nasty here.

She's the mother of his DC, but you're trying your hardest to minimize her and demote her to 'ex girlfriend lol'.

It doesn't matter if they didn't marry, you've only just married him yourself after 11 years.

Would you consider yourself an 'ex girlfriend lol', if you two hadn't married, split up and he married someone else?