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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children wearing tails?

389 replies

ShepherdMoons · 12/09/2024 12:44

Dd's friend at drama club has recently started wearing a tail.She sometimes wears ears.It looks quite cute but I also find it a bit odd (they are 11).Dd hasn't asked to wear a tail (yet) but wondering if this might be her next question.I appreciate there's a bit of a trend for this at the moment and seems relatively harmless but I do find it odd.AIBU?

OP posts:
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8
DiscoBeat · 12/09/2024 14:06

Children enjoy dressing up, I don't think it's weird!

Jjiillkkf · 12/09/2024 14:06

Its a symptom of too much time online, lack of supervision and generally poor parenting.

UtterlyOtterly · 12/09/2024 14:06

I do some private tutoring. I had a 12 year old turn up last week with cat ears. I know she is NT, no issues there at all. Instead of saying hello she miawed at me, then again when I asked how she was doing.

I am very brisk, I have no time for such nonsense. I reminded her I am very expensive and I have a waiting list. She could snap out of being a toddler, stop wasting her parents' money and behave in a grown up manner, or I would end the contract there and then.

She chose the sensible route and has since had a telling off from her mortified mother.

grumpypedestrian · 12/09/2024 14:05

@angellinaballerina7 its not about normalising it, it’s allowing children to express and be themselves. Or should everyone conform and be the same?

desperatedaysareover · 12/09/2024 14:05

Sounds like she's a Therian.

At DD's school assembly they were told they're not allowed to use the term 'furry' or comment on anyone pretending to be an animal. It's treated as bullying.

Never thought I'd miss the 90s.

Bricolagette · 12/09/2024 14:05

I’ve seen it, but not at a school. Girl 12/13 at a community bbq. Furry tail, prancy skip/walk, arms hands held up in front in a “squirrel” pose. My similar aged daughter felt uncomfortable and wouldn’t talk to her — normally she would be looking for a friend at an event like this. She did attract attention.

Was considering possible ND child, as I had experience with ASD boy with cat behaviors but he didn’t wear tail.

or
Coping strategy maybe for social anxiety?

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 12/09/2024 14:04

This seems to be somewhat of a fad. My thoughts on it would depend on age and how often. If it seemed like it was becoming problematic I wouldn’t like it. If the child was older and I thought it was heading down a sexual route ie. furries. I would probably interject and ask it to stop.

Spaffing · 12/09/2024 14:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MrsSunshine2b · 12/09/2024 14:03

A child at a club all about role playing enjoys role play. Shocker.

Lucky7stars · 12/09/2024 14:03

I left school ten years ago and there was at least 2 in my year group that identified as cats so it’s definitely not a new thing

angellinaballerina7 · 12/09/2024 14:02

FooFighter99 · 12/09/2024 12:52

My DD12 (year8) wears a tail, ears and she has paws too (she wants a full fur-suit, but they're expensive!). She classes herself as a Furry/Therian - there's a whole community of them at school and online that she hangs out with

Yes it is a bit odd, but there's absolutely no harm in it

Stop trying to normalise this, it’s weird. Some of you people actually do need to feel shame, your child is not a cat and it’s bizarre that you’re trying to pretend everything about it is fine.

Loooooo · 12/09/2024 14:02

Are schools really allowing kids to wear tails while shouting at other kids for not wearing correct uniform? Surely not? 11 year olds wearing tails is very odd. Very concerning if they actually think they’re cats

Lucky7stars · 12/09/2024 14:02

I saw a girl about that age in Morrisons wearing one the other day

grumpypedestrian · 12/09/2024 14:02

My daughter who is 11 has a tail. She doesn’t use TikTok and does it because we have pets and it’s fun.

People are projecting their view of a sexual fetish onto children who are just having fun.

BobbyBiscuits · 12/09/2024 14:02

Sounds like a trend, a bit like when I was a kid it was dressing like a hippy or a metaller/goth. A bit later on it was skaters. (Even if you didn't skate) Albeit this seems for a slightly younger age group.
I doubt it will last. Of course there's no harm in kids experimenting with clothes as self expression.

mm81736 · 12/09/2024 14:02

My dd is a 22 yr old primary teacher and had to educate her older peers about 'furry fetish' who were mystified by it all!
Of course it needs to be nipped in the bud at school but also teachers need to be aware incase they are accessing inappropriate online content.

Pookerrod · 12/09/2024 14:00

lemmein · 12/09/2024 13:58

Why are schools allowing it though? Why isn't the teacher saying 'you're not a fox - get on with your work!'?

Why is everyone so passive with kids now?

That's a lot of 'why's' but fuck me, it blows my mind - a whole generation who is never told no!

Show quote history

Quite. My DS gets a detention if his shirt isn’t tucked in but the fox gets to wear their tail like it’s some sort of protected characteristic. The world has gone mad. You can’t say anything though, as then you get called a bigot.

MugPlate · 12/09/2024 14:00

grumpypedestrian · 12/09/2024 13:57

Unless you’re going round telling your child/other children about the sexual fetish side of things then it is innocent. But then I don’t go round telling children why something they enjoy can be seen as sexual.

Other adults with the fetish find it sexual. The issue is the children are generating this content for consumption by other adults, while thinking it’s for themselves.
A girl walking down the street with a cat tail thinks she is having fun.
A man with this fetish is happy to follow behind, taking photos.

Does she consent to this?

amlie8 · 12/09/2024 14:00

There's a kid near me who goes around with a furry tail and ears.

I thought all this stuff was urban legend but no.

OhmygodDont · 12/09/2024 14:00

My child showed me the cats YouTube chanel. I wish it wasn’t real.

craigth162 · 12/09/2024 13:59

DogInATent · 12/09/2024 13:58

You've seen this child, or heard it directly from a teacher working at the school?

Or you heard it from someone who heard it from someone's brother who has a child who's friend goes to the school?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/primary/5068126-any-fluffies-children-identifying-as-cats-at-your-childs-school

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/jun/23/child-identifying-as-cat-controversy-from-a-tiktok-video-to-media-frenzy

Edited
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My friends son is in same school and some classes with them.

OhmygodDont · 12/09/2024 13:59

grumpypedestrian · 12/09/2024 13:57

Unless you’re going round telling your child/other children about the sexual fetish side of things then it is innocent. But then I don’t go round telling children why something they enjoy can be seen as sexual.

How do you think they found it if teenager rather than six year old playing kitty.

Its TikTok, discord, Reddit and all the other places where adults are feeding it to kids as cute before it taking the darker side.

JaneJeffer · 12/09/2024 13:59

grumpypedestrian · 12/09/2024 13:57

Unless you’re going round telling your child/other children about the sexual fetish side of things then it is innocent. But then I don’t go round telling children why something they enjoy can be seen as sexual.

Really you wouldn't tell an 11 year old they need to be wary?

DogInATent · 12/09/2024 13:58

craigth162 · 12/09/2024 13:53

Honestly its insane. A school near us has a child who idenitifies as a dragon and school and parents suppport them. How do you get around the undeniable fact that they are NOT a dragon/fox whatever???

Show quote history

You've seen this child, or heard it directly from a teacher working at the school?

Or you heard it from someone who heard it from someone's brother who has a child who's friend goes to the school?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/primary/5068126-any-fluffies-children-identifying-as-cats-at-your-childs-school

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/jun/23/child-identifying-as-cat-controversy-from-a-tiktok-video-to-media-frenzy

lemmein · 12/09/2024 13:58

Pookerrod · 12/09/2024 13:51

My DS has a fox in his class at school, complete with tail 🙄. I honestly don’t know how teachers cope.

Why are schools allowing it though? Why isn't the teacher saying 'you're not a fox - get on with your work!'?

Why is everyone so passive with kids now?

That's a lot of 'why's' but fuck me, it blows my mind - a whole generation who is never told no!