to tell son NOT to post memes of black people

Yet GreyTS said · Today 13:56

Gotta love white people, always jumping in to tell people shit is not racist 🙄 my friend is black and she doesn't find that racist.....same on a thread the other day, Irish people explaining calmly why a saying was offensive but no you all know better, your Irish grandmother/ friend/partner think it's hilarious. Honestly you Brits are literally violently racist, just say you don't give a shit and stop trying to justify yourselves and your language towards minorities

So which is it? Should white people get offended for black people and "jump in" or not??!

Or should they just shut up and not have an opinion? Either way appears wrong

Absolutely ridiculous.

"it's not" what?

I am not suggesting that the concept of "side eye" is inherently a racist one. I am saying that maybe OP feels this particular meme plays into a stereotype about black people being aggressive - so a joke about black people giving particularly potent (bombastic) side-eye could, potentially, be seen as racist/offensive?

I don't know. It wouldn't have immediately struck me as racist I must admit. But I am not black, so I am not one of the people most likely to be sensitive to, and offended by, racism, and am therefore happy to take my cues regarding the matter from those who are.

Is there anybody on here who is willing to say they are black (I know not everybody likes sharing details about themselves - that's understandable) and tell us whether or not they would find it racist personally? As those are the opinions I am most interested in really.... I think white people debating whether a meme about black people is offensive to black people is a bit of a racist concept in itself! And admittedly I am currently part of it....

Of course I have no idea whether you are all white. I perhaps erroneously assume that at least some of you are

I genuinely don’t understand how that is racist. There may be some memes that are racist but not that one, surely?

The meme is the side-eye, not the black person. If anyone is being racist it is you by "othering".

Are you able to explain it then, because OP isnt making any sense at all, her responses dont make any sense.

As a parent of mixed-race kids, I find this notion that white people basically shouldn't get involved in anything to do with any non-white culture one of the most concerning developments of the last 20 years.

Sorry, you say, of your son: "he himself reported someone for using the N word when it was used against him".

The N word was used against your son?

He said what if I posted a white person. I said you need to understand the history of black people, and you shouldn't post just because others do.

Why didn't you answer his question?

In what way is it racist? Because it’s a black person? Because there is plenty of white people in pics doing this also. Or is there some meaning behind it I’m unaware of? I thought it meant look of disapproval, disgust or judgement.

You totally agree he shouldn't be on WhatsApp... yet you allow him on WhatsApp...

I can’t fathom how it’s racist?

I have an 11yo.

We allow WhatsApp

BUT we have very strict provisos in place (only allowed to be on small group chats / we check phone daily / only allowed to share pictures with family / not allowed to use the status function / only allowed to be on WhatsApp with established friends etc) . If he breaks any rules then WhatsApp is gone.

If my DC was arguing with me about something I've told him not to post then WhatsApp is deleted. End of.

Absolutely not ok to post racist memes and your are right to stop your son from reposting them, though I understand it was sent from his racist friend.

All blood is red.

I was thinking Mr Bombastic too 😆 and Mr Loverman - Shabba!

This piece by Kat Rosenfield is from an American perspective, but since the concept of “digital blackface” seems to have started in the US, hopefully you’ll find it’s still worth a read.

“In a diverse, thriving, integrated society that includes people of multivariate backgrounds, of course non-black citizens are going to engage with, appreciate, and relate to cultural products created by their black countrymen — and vice versa.

[…]

[I]t seems not just absurd but grotesque for our national news media to argue that we should wall off these memes from the American mainstream, or make it so fraught for non-black people to engage with them that it becomes effectively taboo. The idea that black culture, whether it’s memes or music or slang or style, needs to be kept separate for its own protection is indistinguishable in practice from the racist ghettoisation that once sidelined black artists and athletes from the mainstream, lest they pollute the spaces where white people gathered. At its root is the notion that black culture is not American culture, that black people are somehow other.”

As long as there wasn’t anything inherently racist about the picture itself, and your son didn’t make any racist comments about it, I don’t think he did anything wrong.

yeah, but this isn't a racist joke

No it's not. It was originally said by a black woman about giving the best dirty looks as a jokey reel. It's used by all races and even species! Gets used on animal short reels when they're pulling a funny face. Are black people not allowed to set social media trends that everyone can use now? That's racist!

Does that apply to white people too ?

Neither do white or Indian or Chinese people. I don’t see how a meme featuring black person is racist unless the meme itself is racist.

Me too as I don’t understand how this is racist.

Ah the old “my child is too young / immature to cope with interacting with others on the internet whilst they are freely allowed on the internet” dilemma.

@Isittimeformynapyet

snd your explanation for why it's unacceptable would be?

and don't say 'it's racist' explain why you think it's racist.

I think OP thinks it might be racist/is racist because the humour plays upon offensive stereotypes around black people being socially aggressive? ("Side eye" is sort of a micro aggression, as I understand it). I don't think I have explained it that well but that's the best I can do....

Anyway I am white so not the best person to judge. I would be interested to hear the views of black Mumsnetters on whether they find this racist. It may be that opinions might be mixed.

If in doubt, it's best that he deletes the post anyway. If someone even thinks an expression or joke might be offensive, best to find a different expression or joke, I would say.

I also think that it's erroneous to suggest the son being on WhatsApp is the problem. WhatsApp isn't much different to texting, and there are all sorts of reasons why an 11 year old would be allowed to use it. A lot of my daughter's friends' parents are very strict when it comes to technology, and they were all allowed WhatsApp at 11.

The problem is that he is interacting with people who think using the N word is acceptable/funny. This would be problematic whatever platform he interacted with them on. Indeed he sees them in person at school. Banning him from WhatsApp will in no way make this issue go away.....