to tell son NOT to post memes of black people

If someone uses only pictures of black people to convey humor, and is relying on black stereotypes for the humor, I can understand why that could be racist. I don’t see the racism in OP’s son using a single picture of a black man doing something that’s not racially based.

What does his colour have to do with it? I post memes, and they feature people of all races & colours. Lots of dogs too, including a side eye one recently!!

This. Wholeheartedly.

That's it in a nutshell, I don't the think 11 year olds in this instance would so if there's a choice to post or not then don't.

Why are you allowing his access to the Apps when he behaving so badly. Cut his access and don’t allow him to use Apps he’s not old enough legally to use.

If some in the group are using racist language you know what comments will follow

so delete it

@Ilovelurchers I think white people debating whether a meme about black people is offensive to black people is a bit of a racist concept in itself! And admittedly I am currently part of it....

Some things are objectively not offensive, and anyone should be able to point that out. Let’s say a white person accidentally bumps into a black person and says, “Oh, excuse me, I’m sorry.” If the black person turns around and says, “That’s offensive to me as a black person!”, the white person does not have to silently accept that s/he’s been racially offensive. S/he’s “allowed” to point out that race was irrelevant to the situation.

If Group X is the only arbiter of what’s offensive to Group X, it opens the door for the less moral members of Group X to use that principle to control other people. Let’s say I, an American, work in the UK and loathe my co-worker, “Jane.” I think Jane is a horrible person and I want to get her in trouble at work.

On the Fourth of July, Jane happens to wear star-shaped earrings to work. I run to our supervisor and tell her that Jane is being culturally offensive - stars are part of the American flag, the Fourth of July is America’s Independence Day, and Jane is not American. Jane’s descended from people who colonized America! She knows I’m American and knew I’d be at the office today - she’s goading me. I am offended as an American and insist that the supervisor talk to Jane about her offensive behavior.

Should Jane and the supervisor be allowed to say that Jane did nothing offensive? Or should they have to shut up and accept that Jane is offensive to Americans because I said she was?

That makes sense, thank you. Sometimes those kind of memes are used in a way that seems to admire the person pictured, but if it's still a stereotype then it's not helpful. I do think the OP is potentially BU towards her son who is very young and presumably had no malicious intentions though. She should show him your post to explain why the memes are potentially racist, rather than implying that any mention of blackness is bad and taboo regardless of context.

Innit. The world has gone crazy lately, making every white person doubt themselves and have to walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting a black person, when in reality the black person doesn’t give a damn, it’s the woke white people getting offended on their behalf. If everything is racist then nothing is racist.
Some of the best memes/gifs are of black people and I’m not going to stop using them because some white saviour tells me not to. We are the same therefore treat everyone the same, it’s not difficult.

OP stop confusing your DS, using a black meme is in no way comparable to using the N word.

Violently racist?

Please explain…

No don't do it. Racist

You must be a racist too then! Mumsnet has spoken 😂😂

Children regulate themselves with the peer group. I would have no mercy and yes indeed separate him from this group whose values do not adjust with yours. Just saying. Those kids might fix themselves later on in life, while you can get stuck with a kid with all sorts of wrong ideas. This is just the one red flag you see. He does not need TIK TOK or Whatsapp. All the best OP.

This is ludicrous. Of course it isn't racist.

By the way, @mazxim OP I don't blame you for trying to do the right thing. Apparently, there's no consensus on what is right when it comes to some thalways Someone will always be offended if you did something or did nothing.

On one hand, some tell you to butt out and not get offended for others. On the other hand, some tell you to speak up for others and not stay quiet. Then when you ask questions to know if and when you should speak up, you're told you're wrong too.

So always best to play it safe - when in doubt just don't do it. In this case, best your son doesn't use it if there are already issues with people being racist and obviously still allowed to roam free in the chat.

I’ve noticed that memes that are used to convey emotion disproportionally involve laughing at exaggerated displays of black people. I sat in a business update at work where the speaker used meme after meme of ‘sassy black women stereotypes’ to convey humour in his presentation. I’ m black and found it racist. I was the only black person in the room.

I have ladies post inspirational images on fb and they are black or mixed. So they carefully curate what they post so it is only mixed race or black women on them

Are you yourselves black? My Black fb friends chose memes and things only with Black people on them. They like it

Firstly, continuing to interact with people who think it's okay to use the N word showing a black person dancing is a problem. No wonder the water is muddled when those people are still tolerated or "friends" afterwards. If he's tolerating it, he's accepting it. I'd teach your son the phrase "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are".

Secondly, using the side eye meme isn't racist if you're using it like every other meme or gif to convey what you're doing. In this case, to convey that you're giving someone the side eye. It doesn't matter the race of the person in the meme/gif.

Using the side eye meme is only racist if you're using the image of that person as a joke because of their race.

Never use the n word though. It would get you expelled from school before you finished saying the world. It could get you cancelled in 50 years times. Who knows.

And what about the black people saying it's not racist?

*some Brits are violently racist. They are massively condemned as we have seen

"You Brits" is bordering on Xenophobia

Giving the side eye as a black person is not racist it is cultural and exceptionally funny. Your son got it right.

He’s already accused her of trying to separate him from his friends . Tweens and teens can be incredibly forceful and manipulative in their quest to be on social media. I wouldn’t kick the OP for that.

The bombastic side-eye meme isn't racist, can be used for anyone and indeed even animals like pp have shown, dd used to like taking pics of our dog giving the side eye look and making them into gifs etc, that was a while ago now, Seem to hear / see more about giving the side eye now rather than the bombastic part being used.

Op I wouldn't have a problem with this one, but I would have a big issue with him having friends who use the n word, I'd have a heart to heart about that with him. Had this with dd's a while ago, sadly it's all over their sm and so many kids using the word. She asked me why it was ok to say if you're black but not if you're white. She understood enough to get how offensive it is, she can't stop others using it unfortunately, I was really shocked and felt like we've taken a huge step back with kids and casual but obvs not casual racism, slurs etc in recent years. It's all over Tiktok Snapchat etc and in their day to day lives with other young people. We can ban or limit access to apps, but when it comes to friends and generally other young people they come into contact with, we can't control what others say or do. All I could do was have a big heart to heart and discussion with dd about it, and the other popular slur at the time to call anyone behaving in a weird or geeky way Autistic. I'm autistic and so is dd btb. Hate the way some of this language is being used and always seems to stem from the sm apps and platforms. Then some kids see it as the norm. Wish we could go back in time sometimes. But that's a different topic!

OP, don't you sound a bit racist?

'Meme of a Black person and bombastic side eye, MUST be racist' - people can post memes of people of others ethnicities and skin colours.

There's a great one of that kid doing the unimpressed face - been around for years (as has the bombastic side eye one, if I am right about the one you are referring to). Are you telling us that the only people who have unimpressed faces are white people and therefore only white children can post that meme (by the logic you are displaying on this thread).

TBH I feel quite sorry for your kid. It's Summer. All his friends are travelling so he's alone and his mum gives him 15 minutes twice a week to talk to his friends. He's 11 ffs. Imagine how isolating that is. Poor kid.