to tell son NOT to post memes of black people

Im not black and i would be very cautious of posting a meme of a black person unless it was very clearly positive about the person in the meme.

Would you really look a meme and think oh I mustn’t post that because it’s a black person looking funny/silly/whatever? It’s like the pp said above - OP’s DS sees a person but OP sees a black person. You are looking at the meme and seeing a black person whereas I would look and see a person who is pulling the best expression (who might just happen to be black). You are going out of your way trying not to be racist but in that process you are being racist, you are othering them. It’s weird.

Post the best meme for the job, simples.

Ah, love! Is that your understanding of racism? Do you actually understand that you are being RACIST by drawing that distinction?

There really is a need for proper education about this.

Okay I've just found this, where the originator of the original BSE tiktok video explains how it came about and what it means, to her.

https://www.tiktok.com/@wipo/video/7290860218831965473?lang=en

Where the 'criminal offensive side eye' thing got added in is anyone's guess and I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean? As a phrase, it doesn't make any sense. It sounds like something a teenager would make up. But it's important to remember that if you see loads of tiktok videos or memes featuring black kids and the phrase 'criminal offensive side eye' then whatever they intended it to mean, one thing is clear, they made that video and they uploaded it with that caption themselves. White people didn't do that to mock black people. The black kids themselves did it. Obviously only a very brave or stupid white person would share that meme though. If there is some sort of 'in' joke among black kids there, then it's not a joke we white people should be helping to perpetuate.

Anyway, as for the 'bombastic side eye' memes featuring black people, quite how white people sharing that very inoccuous stuff with no negative connotations at all can be construed as racist, I am not quite sure. But according to some on this thread, white people do not have the right to be amused by black people in any context at all, even when it's the intention of the black person in question to be amusing. And therein lies our problem.

Because lots of black people have started doing 'a thing' on social media as part of a running joke, it will become known as a black popular culture thing. Therefore it is a thing that white people would be sensible to avoid trying to be part of, or drawing attention to in any way. It can only go wrong for us. No referencing it, no sharing it, no copying it, and definitely no laughing at it, in case our amusement is taken as racism. Even though the memes have no specific racial connotations or significance and are just as relatable for white people.

This is where we are now. We should look away and pretend we didn't see the meme or the video made by the black person, because just in case there is a black-centric joke or a cultural reference in there somewhere, then it's not a joke or a cultural reference to be enjoyed by the likes of us. Stay in your lane, Whitey.

Because they are white and it's a black person in the meme.

I don't understand how this meme is racist? Love how OP has glossed over anyone asking for an explanation of why it is racist... if it is so bad to use this meme then please explain why

I completely disagree. This is teaching her son that what he did was wrong and it wasn't. Nothing racist about what he did.

I think you just can't be sure what's offensive or not, and to who, so perhaps best to air on the side of caution?

Is the fact they are black relevant to the joke in the meme. Or is it just incidental. Like the meme of the older white guy saying "noice". The fact he is older, white and a man isn't the joke. Neither is the fact that he is a children's author. Its just the way he says it.
If it was a joke about him being old, white, or a children's author then that still wouldn't be the same as a meme making fun of the fact someone was black. For lots of reasons. But it isn't. And a side eye meme where the person giving the side eye happens to be black wouldn't be the same either.

It sounds like you are on it. I would say something like "I know that you are not racist and you are not posting it to cause offence, but trust me on this one." Followed by whatever deep level or more surface explanation you feel is right for now.

100% this.

Racism is something to tackle but calling everything racist is just stupid.

There is NO comparison between the 2 things - none

As a black woman, I will say this- it’s not racist. It’s a meme- it’s a funny photo with a funny caption, it is meant to be amusing- and the amusement doesn’t come from the image of the person in the memes colour or race.
Please stop making issues out of things when there is no need - it causes more harm than good.

and 11 is too young for WhatsApp.

YABU I’ve seen a dog meme of bombastic side eye🤷🏼‍♀️but what else is being said/posted…

Is it OK for him to post memes of white people?

Memes are a form of expression and reaction a lot of the time. A "this is how I'm feeling" in an image.

There are plenty of white people in them. And animals.

I would hazard a guess most people don't even LOOK at the colour of the person in the gif normally (this thread excepted as I am sure people are specifically picking the black gifs to make a point)

I think the key fact here is that someone else on the group has posted a meme with a racist comment, therefore the OPs son’s post is more likely to look like it has racist intent. Whereas if all was fine on the group it might be ok. Im not black and i would be very cautious of posting a meme of a black person unless it was very clearly positive about the person in the meme.

I use this meme a lot. It's funny not racist.

nymag.com/intelligencer/2017/02/roll-safe-the-guy-tapping-head-meme-explained.html

Lumping "British people" together is Xenophobia

Wait, wait.

Black people aren't even allowed to be in memes now?

What's next? Black comedians being banned because that's just people laughing 'at' black people?

So ridiculous. Those memes have many variations of people of all races, animals and even inanimate objects.

How do you people manage to get through a day?

Exactly.

This is just ridiculous.

And it’s absolutely unnecessary of adults to continue encouraging the division of people by telling their young child that it would be racist to post a meme of someone BECAUSE they’re black!

If it were a racist meme, sure it would be racist. But it’s not is it? If it’s just a funny gif used to illustrate something he’s saying in conversation, why should he purposely exclude a meme and choose one with a white person?! That’s so divisive and perpetuates racism.

Your son saw a person, and you saw a ‘black person’.

yes there’s a history to racism but we need to stop it being a present - a here and now. And how can we do that if we drag our kids into our complicated thought processes? If they’re not being racist why make it about race?!

I mean, while we are at it, do you not let your son post memes if they have women in? Or any other ‘race’ of person? Or disabled people? Or gay people?

and you sound mad at him? He is clearly thoughtful and doesn’t - in his time context/era - consider it racist. So why get cross at him?

Excellent post. You actually are genuinely open to listening either way to people directly affected by it .

Haven’t RTFT so I don’t know if anyone black has responded to you directly but there’s someone posted a few posts up describing how they felt it was racist in a particular situation.

I also wanted to add my bit to the thread , and say the topic is nuanced. Black people are underrepresented in a lot of world advertising, art, literature and media but suddenly they’re represented widely in memes which are often expressing comical or exaggerated emotion.

Looking at the history of black people often
being depicted as caricatures and not taken seriously etc It’s not a leap to see why people may find that offensive as in the case of the (black) poster who shared their experience upthread.

It’s not necessarily a simple yes or no, but if people can’t engage critically there’s no point. There’s a lot of “just tell us why it’s racist on this thread” then when someone does explain it from their POV there’s these passive aggressive, hyper-defensive comments made.

From looking at the first few pages of this thread I can see why the few people who understand where OP is coming from bowed out and I’m bowing out too after this post - because nothing makes British people angrier and more defensive than suggesting racism and it shows on this thread 😬

For those who are genuinely interested, I won’t post links but do a quick google and read up on some educated debate on this - there’s no consensus on this even among black people but you might better understand what it’s about.

I think you're being more racist. What you're saying is akin to people whispering "black" as if somehow talking about or featuring black people in a normal, colourblind way is racist. A black person can feature in a funny meme just as a white person can. If the joke is specifically about their being black, that's different. But it doesn't sound like it is.