Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this not looking after myself?

158 replies

Salagaee · 10/08/2024 17:42

I earn reasonably well but am a single parent so always feel a bit worried about money. My take home is 3,700. I own one pair of jeans, one pair of running trousers, two dresses, two cardigans and a few t shirts. I wear a t shirt to bed. I have 9 pound pair of basic shoes from Tesco and some flip flops.

Today the weather turned a bit here and I hadn’t washed my jeans so put on my running trousers. I met some family and my mum took me to one side and asked why I was always essentially circulating between two outfits and that I really needed to live a bit and dress myself the same way I dress dd (dd always has decent clothes). she said she had noticed I never wear anything different and it’s not normal or necessary and suggests I don’t look after myself properly. Is she right? She didn’t say it in a nasty way but I can’t stop thinking about it.

OP posts:
Snacksgalore · 10/08/2024 17:50

Are you the same lady has multiple thread about want to pay of your mortgage early, how you only have one towel and who’s son’s bedroom and bathroom is well looked aftef but not the rest of the house?

RedHillSunsets · 10/08/2024 17:50

What do you wear for work?

Hadtohide · 10/08/2024 17:50

I am all for having a capsule wardrobe but that sounds a bit extreme. You know you can buy lots of very reasonably priced clothes on vinted? What do you wear in cold weather??

SarahWren · 10/08/2024 17:50

I couldn’t manage with that few clothes. I think it really isn’t very much by anyone’s standards unless you are strapped for cash.

Lovelynames123 · 10/08/2024 17:49

Unless your mortgage/rent is very high you should have more than enough to buy a few bits, if you want to of course. Look on Vinted if you're worried about money, but I have about the same as you, also single parent and have lots of clothes (although often wear the same ones!)

miniaturepixieonacid · 10/08/2024 17:49

If your clothes are always clean and weather appropriate then I would say you are looking after yourself and it's up to you what you wear.

But you earn a huge salary. I would live a little if I were you. I have ridiculous amounts of clothes but never ever buy anything new - all vintage fairs, Vinted and charity shops. You can have lots of options to fit your style and budget and make you feel good without buying new things. I never spend more than £10-£15 on an item of clothing and frequently less than £3.

ThatTealViewer · 10/08/2024 17:48

I own one pair of jeans, one pair of running trousers, two dresses, two cardigans and a few t shirts. I wear a t shirt to bed. I have 9 pound pair of basic shoes from Tesco and some flip flops.

Why? You’re not on the breadline. Why do you only have one pair of shoes and about three outfits? You say ‘DD always has decent clothes’, so you clearly don’t think yours are decent.

No, that isn’t taking care of yourself particularly well. You don’t need to spend a huge amount of money and be massively consumerist, but I’m not seeing the reason to live like that.

Undethetree · 10/08/2024 17:45

It depends entirely on whether you could afford to dress differently but choose not to because or whether you would like more clothes but don't feel you can/should buy them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread