Is this not looking after myself?

Let me tell u im in the same position as u and i earn the same amount…when ur a single parent it doesnt go far! U do ur best and we have 0 time for ourselfs i have no time for self care dont let it get u down.

Yes. This is very odd.

Take home £3,700 do yearly take home £44,400. Gross approx £58,343 (assuming no pension or student loan). This is a very good salary.

To deny yourself is strange. Why? You could get lovely classy clothes second hand cheaply of eBay. Just a few pieces, occasionally. To live like this is odd. I agree either way your mum. Why do you do this to yourself? Do you have low self esteem? Think you aren't worth it?

I am on holiday in Asia at the moment where we have house help at home. They have a bigger wardrobe than you and compared to your salary earn so little, though their wage is very good by local standards. Can’t imagine being so frugal, do you really need to be?!

Also just read your update about 20K debt. How did that happen?! How does one get into debt due to a relationship? Did your partner take out loans in your name without your consent? Why are they not paying it back? Also how much was the debt when you started paying in back as you say you still have 20K left to pay.

I think you can set aside £10 monthly as a clothes budget to improve your situation. Look online on Next clearance, you can get jeans, t shirts, dresses, jumpers etc at very reasonable prices in clearance even more so if you are size 8-10 as there is less demand for these sizes. Also in winter buy summer clothes and in summer buy winter clothes as it is always cheaper when out of season.

@Salagaee To me, you sound like a completely normal person who is sensible with money. Humans don't need to rotate between different clothes every single day, and the "fast fashion" industry is polluting the planet.

With a whopping £3700 monthly payslip, you can focus on buying nice things for yourself and DD, rather than wasting it on something as mundane as clothes.

That's not enough clothes as you've found out. You need at least 2 pairs of jeans if that's what you mostly wear.
You definitely need more shoes. What would you do if your shoes fell apart?
Buy another couple of pairs.
Supermarket brands are fine.

Selfcare is essentially also self love. Nothing wrong with addressing the debt if it means that you have the debt cleared soon. I also understand why you would have other priorities such as your DD. But, a few sets of clothing does not need to be expensive. You can get some cheap basic shirts/,tops and get fe a nice skirt from Vinted or ebay. I had a few years where I prioritized my DC, DH, house, etc etc. I had not bought clothes for years and when I looked at my wardrobe it was evident that I really needed some clothing as old , worn etc. It took me much money to have it upgraded all at once. Nowadays, I set some clear goals that I want to buy that year and I set a budget. So I plan to buy new bra's etc before my old ones are too worn out. It also gives me time to think what I need and I have time to see if I can find it online cheaply or in a sale etc. It is easier to maintain a certain level as every few months I check which clothes can still be worn and which should become my house clothes. It does not take huge amounts of money and I find it relaxing to scour the internet and see if I can find it within my monthly budget. I do similar for my DH and DC btw. As we know we will be travelling next year to visit family, I am checking and buying shirts, a sweater as colder in Europe than where we live etc etc. means that during the year my costs are spread, it does not affect me saving as it is part of my daily expense. It also means of I unexpectedly need to travel for my work, I have a decent set of clothes to use as a bit more formal than I normally wear. for what it is worth, when I was young my mom and dad were similar, they hardly bought anything for themselves. So I was hardwired that other things and wants take priority over my needs.

You do need more clothes primark leggings some nice tops cheap as chips.

You can't be going to work in the clothes you have listed? There's no doubt people there will notice, even if they don't say anything

I am not into clothes not everyone is, as long as you are happy why do you have to meet some requirement?

If you want to buy more do but it's up to you

Firstly It's right to prioritise your debts, but even debt management plans allow for clothing and personal care products.
Is it more that you feel you don't deserve nice things, because you can afford to have more clothes
The less clothes you have, the more you have to use the washing machine etc so it's false economy even in practical terms
" Allow" yourself £40 per month to buy some more basics on Vinted.
You can also buy stuff for DD on there

I’m genuinely interested to know what £9 shoes you have that go with jeans, running trousers and dresses that are also suitable for the office??

If you took £150 cash to Primark tomorrow, I think you’d be amazed at how much you could buy. Wouldn’t it cheer you up? Buy another pair of jeans, maybe some navy shorts for summer. Their v-neck t-shirts are £2.50, buy one in white, black, navy, a stripey one, pink, khaki, etc. Buy some light wide legged trousers, buy some sandals, some new trainers. Few jumpers or sweatshirts.

All this is pointless if you’ve got no interest in fashion or changing the way you dress, but if the reason you’re not shopping for new clothes is purely down to saving for a house, it’s silly. £150 isn’t the difference between buying a house or not.

That sounds like very little to wear.

Look on Vinted if you're worried about money. You might find at least another pair of jeans, a shirt, sweatshirt, etc.

You wouldn't have to spend much to have a few clothing items to spare.

a few more outfits aren't going to make a dent in either your debt or mortgage application.

I don't really get what you mean about not liking the clothes you can afford. Respectfully, even if they aren't your exact style, the cheapest basic plain dresses and jeans from asda or primark are going to look much nicer than cheap t shirts that have been worn and washed 100 times.

I can't imagine having so few clothes, and don't think I could manage without buying a few more.
Most of mine are at least 10-15 years old (most are older than that) - I don't throw anything out until it's completely threadbare, and as a result have too many to fit in my drawers / wardrobe.
To have so few have you just never bothered buying clothes? Or have you always thrown them out periodically? My take home pay is under £1,900 so I can't relate to earning £3,700 and being worried about money. I live in the North West which may explain it, but still, I don't think I could manage with such a small amount of clothes.

I can't understand how you have not got an entire ttire back wardrobe accumulated over your adult life. I have clothes over two decades old. At no point have I ever ditched my entire wardrobe. How do go on holiday? I presume you don't. New jeans cost £12 somewhere like Asda. I picked up a Monsoon silk dress in a charity shop for £6. I could double your wardrobe for about £50. I spend more than that on food a week. I'm much poorer than you are with 4 kids and I have have so much more. Can't you streach to some sainsbury's leggings and a primark hoodie?

I think your set up is unusual

I don’t even buy that much, but I definitely own multiple pairs of trousers for different occasions, some jeans, some skirts etc. I can definitely get 7 different outfits out of my wardrobe. I think you going between 2 items every week is borderline poverty. It’s not good for your clothes to be washed that often ( I assume multiple times per week?) - they will deteriorate faster

I think some people are just not bothered about clothes. In the same way that some people are not bothered about food, or their car, or the news. I'm not bothered about clothes. I have 3 x jeans, 1 x black trousers, 1 x exercise leggings. 7 x tshirts, 2 x hoodies. 1 x pair walking boots, 1 x pair wellies, 1 x trainers, 1 x black shoes (rarely worn!). Warm coat, rain jacket, smart coat. Just over a week of underwear. It's enough for me. Some of the t shirts are idenitical. I wore pyjamas when the kids were small, but not now. I am clean. I keep the scruffiest things for gardening and the newer items for facing the world. I couldn't care less if people have opinions about it - my priorities are different.

OP if you are happy, then crack on. Life your life by your own priorities.

I rent, and will be for life. My bedroom sounds like a shop compared to OPs! I have far more clothes than I need, but I like clothes. I buy second hand sometimes, and most of my new clothes I get on sale price - although if I see something I really like I will pay full price. I'm also retired, so it's not as though I even need clothes for work!

I get that some people aren't interested in clothes, but honestly OP it just seems miserable to have so few items to wear, and it's false economy to be having to constantly wash everything. You are on a good salary - I've never earned that much - so why not buy a few more things?

I think that you are being very sensible. Most of us overspend on outfits and then only wear a few of the same things all the time.

You are being very reasonable and I think you will go far with your type of mindset.

FYI - I am completely the opposite of you but my husband sounds like you and I have learnt so much from him.

Most people have more clothes than they need. I think you need another pair of jeans, a decent pair of shoes/trainers for going out and a nice top or two. Make sure you have some layers to keep warm in winter.

I don't think you need to buy a lot more, but I would aim to have enough so that you can wash and dry full loads.

Hi @Salagaee I wish I could live with just a handful of outfits.

one of my friends has just one pair of sjoes, like you and I just dont get that, I'm a shoeholic, lol!

You don't need to buy loads, but you could have a couple of smarter outfits - classic lines - in the wardrobe. If you do want more clothes for small money, I recommend everythingfivepounds. They're typically high street brands excess clothes and shoes.

Do I think youre not looking after yourself? No. You absolutely are.

I do think wearing two outfits on rotation almost every day is living as if you are desperately short of money. Excess materialism isn’t desirable either but it sounds as if you don’t think you need / deserve any new things at all. I think you have so few clothes that it must surely be tricky to dress for the weather and occasion? A single £9 pair of shoes and flip flops - so no shoes for evenings? No boots? No trainers? No shorts? You could create a capsule wardrobe with ten new things and look very different each day.

You are spending more on putting the washing machine on frequently, than you would if you just bought yourself a few more outfits.

How have you not accumulated anything over the years? I am not a spender on clothes and most of my stuff comes from charity shops but I inevitably have dresses bought for a wedding a decade ago or a pair of smart shoes bought for an interview.

The shoes would worry me most. How can what you are wearing now also be suitable for winter?

Similarly spending a couple of quid on thermals or a decent jumper (second hand) would surely be cheaper than the heating bill.