To want to see my boyfriend after his month on holiday?

This man does not care about you, about the fact you feel hurt. You have been together 2 years and he hasn't integrated you in to his life.

Staying with him you are only hurting yourself. End it, get some counselling for low self esteem and move on

Have you met his ex? Or spoken to her? If not, how do you know she knows about you?

Plus, if he is separated from the mother of his child, I think it’s still highly likely that you are not his only ‘girlfriend’. He might not be with his ex, but he is almost certainly with someone who isn’t you.

However, even if he’s single, that doesn’t actually matter because he is a horrible arsehole who makes you miserable. Why are you wasting years of your life on a nasty piece of work who doesn’t give a shit about you? Are you scared to be without a boyfriend? Are you some of masochist who secretly gets off on the humiliation?

What do you actually want to get out of your threads? Everyone has told you, repeatedly, that your boyfriend is treating you like shit and lying to you. He doesn’t love you. You know that. He makes you unhappy and downtrodden. You know that too. What more, exactly, do want people to say? Are you looking for people to reassure you and tell you to hang in there and that your boyfriend loves you? Because nobody is going to do that, and if we did do that, we’d be terrible people - no decent human being is going to tell you to stay with a man who is an emotionally abusive, cruel, manipulative liar.

I understand that you think people are being rude and harsh, but why you think that is? It’s not because anyone wants to bully you - quite the opposite. It’s because everyone can see that you’re being reduced to an awful state by this man and everyone wants you to wake up, walk away and get your bloody dignity back and be happy. You said in your other thread that you’re a strong independent woman, but right now, you are not. You were a strong independent woman before you met this man but not any more. And everyone here simply wants to see you be that strong independent woman again. You KNOW you are better than this.

How long have you been together?

Why not just find someone who is child free and therefore has more free time?

My sister once complained when her boyfriend went away for a week then didn't call her first a couple days when he got back. The answer 'he's just not that into you'. Same here I'm afraid.

Echoing other posters. He’s trying to fizzle this out or hope you break up with him. Sorry OP.

I'm sorry OP but the harsh truth is that you cannot 'make' someone care ..

They do or they don't.

Be logical and put yourself in this position. You are the parent to a child and it's the school holidays... you have been away for a month .. you really live and miss your boyfriend. Do you

a. Call often and text multiple times a day to let your boyfriend know you are missing them and looking forward to seeing them when you are free .. you are super busy but hell - you can find time to text while you are watch tv with DD, having a wee, cooking her supper .. your messages discuss your plans to be together for when you are free .. OR

b. You use your childcare obligations as an excuse to be too busy to make your boyfriend feel loved or wanted .

Honestly OP .. I promise you. No one who is actually keen on their partner is EVER too busy to make them feel loved . A kind message takes nano seconds to send.

Save yourself the humiliation and just fade away .. and find someone worthy of your attention .

@bradmore47 I don’t know if this bloke is single or not, but I do know he isn’t interested in you…

I get it. You're emotionally invested in him. You clearly love him.

It's also clear that he doesn't see you in the same way. The previous poster that you called rude and unhelpful may have been blunt, but she's right. He is not in the same relationship that you are. And you really are doing your best to ignore it

He’s just not that into you 🤷‍♀️

If you were the love of his life & he was besotted with you, he wouldn’t treat you like this.

I was involved with a man like this for a few months. He told me he was separated & actually I know now that he actually was but it was all very complicated & I got tired of never being a priority. It made me so stressed & anxious. He would keep me dangling but never commit. It’s up to you OP but I decided it wasn’t worth it & im so glad now I’m out of that situation!

He isn't treating you like a proper girlfriend, only casually when you insist and give him lifts, or travel to see him, he's not even interested in staying the night after the event with you. Honestly I think you are wasting time on this one.

Are you sure you have been to HIS house ? I knew a woman who was seeing a man who said he was separated. Lots of people said he wasn’t, she insisted he was because she had been to his house and no wife . Turned out he was borrowing his brother’s house to meet her !

I don't understand how your other thread you've said he separated from his ex last year but you have been together for 2 years 🤔 honestly don't understand how your life benefits from having him in it. Would just move on if I was you

What help do you want?

He's a dickhead. Even if he is actually separated he clearly doesn't give a toss about you.

People are telling you to get rid, which is exactly what you need to do. You are wasting your time with him.

You're flogging a dead horse. This man doesn't want to be your boyfriend, but he's too pathetic to come out and say it.

I agree with others, you're an ex now.

What help do you want OP? You've had lots of good advice but you're ignoring what's right in front of your nose.

But that post was from the 26th July and on this post she says he was away travelling from the 16th July until this week???

A few holes appearing here....

He left you alone, didn't help and didn't even call to see if you were OK when your car broke down and you were stuck for ages waiting for recovery late at night?

Jeez, that is not what a loving partner or even a friend does. He's either still married or a really, really shit boyfriend

With the information you’ve given in your other thread…this man is not single.
you are the other woman.

Actually I think you’re being unreasonable to have completely ignored what’s glaringly obvious and what every PP told you in your previous thread - THIS MAN ISN’T SINGLE

No amount of sticking your fingers in your ears and saying ‘La la la not listening’ can change what’s in front of your eyes.

He's probably got the washing machine on and ordering an online shop.

Oh. You said BF...

OK, I just saw your previous thread about your relationship.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5128716-red-lines-and-what-do-i-deserve

First of all, this man is definitely married/living with someone.

Secondly, he doesn't care about you. Why are you putting yourself through this? Have some dignity and self-respect and stop sitting there waiting for a man who treats you like shit to throw you a few pathetic scraps of his time so that he can sleep with you.

You must surely see that you deserve better than this cunt?