To think the hilarity just wasn’t necessary?

It's unusual (what you did) but nothing wrong with it, if that's something you do.

I think - and I know it's going to sound patronising but I don't mean to - it's actually really quite lovely. I love history a lot too and think and reflect in things I've read or watched or heard.

I think the problem is that you left a conversation to do that, and that does come across a little rude perhaps? As others have said, I suspect there is some ND at play?

Could you in future make a few notes on your phone to look back on when you're on your own?

I think gentle ribbing is ok in some families - it would be in my family because we literally rip the piss out of each other as a sign of affections however, if you were visibly upset about it, that was bang out of order.

I hope you're ok.

Does the open university still exist? isn't that much cheaper?

Some people here don’t understand and some do. I can envisage my son (nearly 18) doing similar to you. He is an intense, reflective person. I think he would probably choose to share only with people he trusts. Your family sounds rather mean. They have poor judgement on the difference between laughing with some one and laughing at them. I’d encourage you to dwell on their mistakes a little more instead of questioning yourself. As a PP said, keep being you.

This thread is giving me flashbacks to secondary school. Not in a good way. Conform, OP! Conform!

It's my job to do this and find it out. Not as far back as the medieval period usually, but regularly back into the 17th century. I do think it's fascinating to discover the stories of ancestors and what ordinary people were doing at the time.

I also work with many other people of a similar interest, both professionals and interested amateurs, and clients who have paid me to research their family. I know I can post things in a group WhatsApp about a cool record from Ellis Island or some old archive records and they will be interested. I know that not everyone is similarly interested and there are a lot of people out there who just aren't bothered about what their g g granny was doing on the 1901 census. And that's fine, it'd be really boring if we were all interested in similar things.

I have also never found it necessary to withdraw from a group conversation to "reflect".

I think it's fine to pop out when the conversation takes a turn that doesn't interest you, and if men can think about the Romans several times a day, I don't see why you can't muse on the Anglo Saxons.

I think where you set yourself up was in the way you explained it to your daughter - it did sound a bit funny, and most families laugh at each other. I would get laughed at for that and I would not care because I know all the equally odd things they have done in their time that I still find hilarious.

🤣

I fear for the future people shaped by me 🤣

I disagree, Great Aunt Mildred is part of who you are now. She raised her children and influenced them, they influenced the next generation and so on.

Just like you will influence the next generation in some way and so on, in 300 years there will be a generation of people who in some way have been shaped by you and by Great Aunt Mildred.

Not to say that you have to a) believe the same as me or b) give it a second thought 🤣

This sounds like something I would have said when I was younger and I would have gotten the same reaction as your family. All it does is make me clam up and shy around people at big events now. And they all wonder why I’ve gone shy and don’t engage in conversations. I’ve just embraced my weirdness internally and stay quiet in public so I’m not the butt of their jokes any more.

I'm sorry to do the typical mumsnet thing of diagnosing neurodivergence but honestly your behaviour is unusual and doesn't fit with social norms and did very much sound like something a ND person would do and then not see why people were laughing. They shouldn't have taken the piss once it was clear you didn't find it funny.

I would find a natural lull in the day where I could then think back about something I was interested in. No hobbies or passions as such but if a conversation had interested me, it might come back to the forethought of my brain. Perhaps when brushing my teeth or loading the dishwasher.
I would certainly think it unusual for someone to wander off alone, when with company to reflect immediately on a conversation topic.

Not so much the relatives but I do find it interesting. I wouldn’t go outside to reflect on it though and would fully find it weird if someone else did.

Depending on the personality of the individual I’d either laugh or presume they were a bit up their own arse to be honest.

That is exactly what the OP said - can no one read posts anymore?

A lot of posters seems just like the OP's family - so keen to gang up on her for being what they perceive as 'wierd'. It is not a crime to not be like everyone else and it shouldn't be mocked and laughed at.

OP - you continue to march to the beat of your own drum, your family sound unpleasant and resentful of anyone who dares to be a bit different (like many posters) so uses mocking to shame you back into line. Vive la difference, I say.

My family would do similar, but we'd all take it on the chin. We all have our eccentricities. If you laugh along in these situations they stop sooner.

And that may have been why your sister was trying to change the subject- to subconsciously process the meat of the previous conversation.

Neither of you were wrong, but you clearly don’t understand each other’s learning style. Maybe work on the relationship so the misunderstandings aren’t so hurtful.

I understand where you are coming from OP, but there’s a balance. You can’t control the conversation in a group- it’s impolite to talk for any length of time about something that doesn’t interest everyone. If you want an extensive chat about history, go especially for that when your sister isn’t there.

And when you need time out for reflection, it’s time to go home, or reflect while making a cuppa!

You may get a better reception if you call it ‘processing’ rather than reflecting. I think people understand the need to process information better.

Most people process unconsciously though, while making a cuppa or going for a walk, in the background of doing lighter things.

Honestly, no.

But then I don’t get the fascination with family trees and ancestry type things. What Great Aunt Mildred did 300 years ago has got no impact on me.

I do recognise that a lot of people like this sort of stuff though.

That would absolutely have gone done in our family hist And resurrected every Christmas along with all the other things we take the piss out of each other about.

but seriously I think you should crowdfund an OU degree, you’d love it. If you possibly can go do a degree.

OP says:

No I ignored them and tried to return to the topic but it was impossible with sister carrying on the way she was.
I wasn’t the one with all the facts, my grandma was. That’s why I wanted it to carry on as I was learning things I didn’t already know.

That doesn’t sound like someone trying to just explain why they wanted to reflect. It sounds like someone who wanted the previous conversation to carry on, regardless of how other people in the room felt.

Absolutely this. Most people think while they participate in a conversation.

It is funny. Embrace it…

There’s nothing wrong with having your own quirks but it’s unreasonable to expect other (presumably NT folk) to get it. I think it’s endearing and it really wouldn’t bother me if people found it amusing.

I'm autistic and spend a lot of time in my own head reflecting on things. I don’t think I’d leave the room, I need breaks from conversation sometimes but I might just nip to the loo or something! (People often laugh at me for other reasons though. I don’t care, I know they love me)

I did understand it, I'm not an idiot. I think it's a pretentious thing to say to anyone!

I imagined it as OP trying to demonstrate why it was worth reflecting about rather than coming back and dominating the conversation.

Ridiculing her in front of everyone wasn’t OK. She could have a quiet word with her.

It's been explained multiple times by multiple posters why it's not the done thing to just leave the room if you don't like the topic of conversation. At least say you needed some fresh air or something, but ideally don't do it.

I completely relate to the wish to carry on and further explore a topic of conversation in my head - I'd forgotten until this thread that my lovely dad described me as a deep thinker in his speech at my wedding, he was the same.

The point is that it's not polite to do that in company. This isn't a point of intellect, it's a point of social skills.

The most interesting, intelligent people I've known can converse in an appropriate way about just about anything, high brow or low. They don't leave the room because the conversation has turned to someone else's interests.