To think the hilarity just wasn’t necessary?

I did reflective exercises as part of my history-related MSc too. But it wasn't so much about reflecting on the actual material, more about your learning style and what you found worked or didn't - so writing about how you tried mind mapping and didn't find it particularly effective, but that writing bullet points or using a different syntax for literature searches did.

It's been in education last few years - schools and uni DH taught and visited at.

I think it's a new educational fashion - you can see why but it's often done in a less than natural way so it gets ticked off as it were - DH in a technical subject so I get to enjoy him moaning about it.

It’s soul destroying when you’re the one if the family that people feel they can laugh at, OP.

Your family are out of order.

It's fascinating to you! But people have different interests. If I started talking at length to you about mine, you'd get bored pretty quickly. As I might about yours.

It's not wrong for people to be less interested in your favourite subject than you are, and to tire of the conversation sooner than you. Similarly it wouldn't be wrong for you to take a break outside for different reasons, to escape my friend's obsession with a particular sport

You seem to be struggling to understand how other people think.

Again, I'm sorry that your family mocked you. But I think it would help you to try to understand social interaction and understanding that other people's perceptions are not yours.

Actually in open university, loads of the work one does seems to have an element of "reflection" a ton of waffle about what you learned (about yourself) and how you learned. (My dad does it) rather than writing essays on the subject.

There's a lot of autistic traits going on here;

Interesting - I can see that.

I wondered if the OP works in education sector or in management somewhere in that sector- from DC schools and DH working in HE there can be a lot of pushing reflection after trips and conversations and projects.

It's not a bad idea but is often pushed in less natural ways - like OP stepping out immediately to do it - rather than most people ruminating when have a quiet moment.

It's not unknown for family members to step out for some air or a break or just for a change or more often to do a task to get the space- but it would be odd to say it was to reflect on a conversation.

@Calliopespa

I assumed we all did think about what we'd studied and did further reading.

But no one actually said "I am reflecting". It's the wording used that is odd. And we could all do our thinking at later times. Not have to excuse ourselves from something to go off and do it right then and there (assuming something else is happening we could be doing)

It is unusual yes and I would be surprised by it.

However, the laughter probably came from your daughters delivery of it. Kids have a way of saying things very funny.

I think it’s lovely that you are so passionate about it though, just continue to enjoy it.

most people don’t do that but I wouldn’t find it weird, I’d be delighted you were enjoying the conversation that much. Maybe they were laughing in a happy way rather than a taking the piss way?

You've taken my post as an insult when it's really not. ND behaviour is by definition unusual because the vast majority of people are NT and social norms might be a load of crap but that doesn't mean most people don't adhere to them. It's not a bad thing to be ND or to have unusual behaviours that don't adhere to social norms and nobody should laugh at people for that!

If I said that I would fully expect the piss to be absolutely ripped out of me. My sister still mocks my accidental mispronunciation of a word from over 20 years ago! And yes, I would be embarrassed. The laughing and the embarrassment are the normal parts of this - wanting to spend some time alone to reflect was the weird bit.

@Vamozz there's shameful parts of every country's history. It's ignorant to say otherwise. And I'm not sure what 'sanitised' bits you're referring to, if you didn't study British history here or anywhere else?

Sorry but neurodiverse behaviour isn’t unusual 😡 and social norms are a load of bollocks sometimes. Here’s to the people that question that crap 👍🏻

All this ND stuff may be true but it doesn't mean your family need to laugh hysterically at you about it. Nor does it mean you should stop doing it. I do think part of the reason more and more people are being diagnosed / considering themselves ND is because society is becoming more and more conformist.

OP, it’s probably already been said but I don’t have time to read through 13 pages of comments from neurotypicals. Do you think you could be on the spectrum? The part that struck me was you said you knew the conversation was drifting and you wanted to take some time to continue thinking about a topic you state is one of your favourites.

It sounds exactly like masking. You’ve learnt, subconsciously or otherwise, that others don’t want to hear you info dump about your special interests, so you take yourself somewhere quiet to continue thinking about them alone. Women and girls experience autism very differently to men and boys and often mask quite heavily to fit in.

Another ND trait is expressing yourself in a more formal way than usual. This can sound "funny" to people who haven't twigged the pattern and wonder why something sounds "odd".
It's often more apparent in children who sound like adults.

Going for some space to reflect sounds a lot more formal than "needing a break" or "having a quiet moment" and more like part of a professional development day, than part of an interesting casual conversation with family. That's why it sounds funny to many people even if they haven't quite worked out why it's "odd"

I find that sad. Your penultimate paragraph perfectly describes all that is wrong with education these days: let me turn that into something I can “use” if and when I need it. Job done.

I'm not sure why talking about current politics is deemed as anti-intellectual but talking about history isn't? What's happened this week in American politics is fascinating and all the people I know are talking about it!

As we say in our neurodiverse house, when one of us does something that might be perceived by others as a little bit odd, "that would be the autism".
You do you, but for others it's slightly unusual behaviour. I'm sure they didn't intend to be mean and were just having a joke.

It's the sort of comment one may make after watching something like "zone of interest"

I watched that alone so was okay to just walk home for sone quiet time. Not sure if I was with a friend how we'd transition from that film to chatting about love island.

But even at university doing a masters, no one ever reflected! We may say "hang on give me 1 min to jot down these thoughts" but no one "reflected"

It just sounds very funny /pretentious.

I love stuff like that - things that really pique my interest. I would then reflect, daydream and research and really get into it later, so I understand that part.

Taking yourself off immediately to do so, when the conversation drifted to less interesting topics, is a bit rude though. I may want to do the same but I would squash that impulse, and make myself wait. I would probably have a chuckle at an adult doing that too, assuming they are capable of waiting...you're taking yourself a bit too seriously.

Haha this made me laugh!

I think my family would raise a few eyebrows and roll eyes if a member of the family went off to reflect. Maybe you're just too progressive for them OP!

Sorry but it does come across as very odd and pompous to disappear half way through a conversation to reflect on it... Unless you were perhaps really upset by something.

There's a lot of autistic traits going on here; a deep, intense interest in a niche subject, that long exceeds other people's ability to maintain conversation on the theme, a need for quiet space to process and ruminate about the experience, an inability to read other peoples' experience of the situation and taking it all more seriously than others.

DS has a deep and lasting interest in weaponry and ammunition of WW2 that has lasted years and there has to be a balance of some space to express himself, but also it's not fair on others for him to regularly steer the conversation to it or to talk about it for his full attention span (which can be a verrry long time).

We all have quirks and eccentricities in our family. Some at a ND diagnosable level, some not. We laugh at each other and ourselves. Humour lightens life up. It makes it easier to manage.

I like a "buffer" at transition points. It drives the DCs round the bend that when I've finished driving, if there's no urgency, I like to sit in the car, finish a song, check my phone. This is a habit that pre-dates smart phones and I did 20+ years ago from the start of driving so it's a me thing, not a phone thing. It's not a dissimilar need for DS to have to return to the hotel room on holiday for a couple of hours between activities. But I'm aware of it and can be irreverent about it. Sometimes finding the humour stops us exploding with frustration at ourselves or others- it's not automatically mean or bullying.

At the least it's worth recognising when your behaviour differs from the norm and why that is. It doesn't mean its wrong and if it's something that can be interpreted as rudeness, if you can explain your needs, that helps people understand your intentions. (e.g. there's a difference in understanding that DS is leaving the table because he's reached his social limit and him leaving the table because he's impatient to continue a game)

Does the open university still exist?
Yes
Isn't that much cheaper?
No