Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the hilarity just wasn’t necessary?

408 replies

DonnySue · 21/07/2024 20:41

Was at my grandmas earlier with DD (9). My sister, her husband and their kids were there too. We were talking about history and I was absolutely fascinated by it (I love history, especially British history) and at one point I took myself outside into the garden to have a few minutes of thinking and reflection on what we’d been talking about.
DD came out to ask what I was doing and I said “just having a few minutes to reflect on what we’ve been chatting about”.

She went back inside and then I heard howls of laughter coming from the living room. DD had told them what I’d said and they were all in stitches over it. It really ruined my thoughts and I tried to get the topic back up and running but sister kept saying everyone was still reflecting - cue more hilarity.

was what I said really that bloody funny?? Pissed off but also a bit embarrassed 😞

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 21/07/2024 21:17

CantSleepSweet · 21/07/2024 21:09

Usually people can compartmentalise topics they're really interested in from the need to dwell on them intensely right there and then. Are you someone who often has strong intense urges that have to be indulged immediately, or perhaps don't always follow social conventions? As others have said, it's not normal behaviour. But it's still mean for your family to laugh at you.

I agree with this.
Your engagement with a very specific topic seems unusually intense. Most people would be able to save their pondering for the drive home. This behaviour sounds a little like asd ‘special interest’ type of behaviour.
If this had been my family I don’t think we would have laughed but we’d definitely have been bemused.
It is an unusual response to an interesting conversation.

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 21/07/2024 21:16

My DD often leaves family gatherings saying ‘I’m going to do my thinking time now’. Which everyone thinks is very sweet because she’s 10. Little do they realise she means ‘you’re boring as shit and I’m away to play with my squishmellows’.

pinkpillowlady · 21/07/2024 21:16

Wtf were you talking about to illicit such a reaction from you?

willWillSmithsmith · 21/07/2024 21:16

HolyPeaches · 21/07/2024 21:02

OP, please ignore this patronising comment.

What you did, is not a weird thing to do at all. Nor is it pompous or intense.

It kind of is. Or at least it’s a bit intense. I wouldn’t laugh at someone but I would be a bit okaaay in a quizzical way as it would seem a bit bizarre to me.

Doingmybest12 · 21/07/2024 21:16

If its your favourite topic ,presumably you know a lot about it already. Were you really giving a crafty cigarette or vape, extra portion of pudding ? Otherwise it really seems odd to need to reflect on something you already know about? Anyway , it's done. Just style it out.

hari27 · 21/07/2024 21:16

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 21/07/2024 21:09

It’s ok to be weird, actually.
it’s not ok to mock people for it. Especially when they’re your family.

I agree. OP you be you.

what’s the problem. The OP didn’t go out and scream or hurt someone. She just said she wanted some time to reflect. Said that to her child. And everyone laughs. This is exactly how bullying works. People expose a different reaction to the perceived norm and everyone laughs.

pinkpillowlady · 21/07/2024 21:16

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 21/07/2024 20:55

Do you scream and howl in the Sistene Chapel?
Iykyk

Yes and then she snapped and farted

saraclara · 21/07/2024 21:15

If have just said "I'm just getting some fresh air"

I've left conversationsfor various reasons that might have seemed odd to those in the group (I'm somewhat introverted and need space quite often) but it's never dream of giving the real reason. It's too easy for people to not get it, or misunderstand and take it personally.

Having people laugh is also a possibility, so 'getting fresh air' is a safer response all round.

DonnySue · 21/07/2024 21:14

Conversation was starting to drift, sister was trying to change the subject so I just wanted to sit by myself a bit to think about it whilst it was still fresh in my mind. It was nothing to do with seeking attention and when I said I was popping out for a minute I said it with a smile so nobody would think I had a face on

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 21/07/2024 21:14

You just got up, mid conversation, and walked outside?

Beth216 · 21/07/2024 21:13

It sounds a bit pretentious, in my head it's already become 'I'm just taking some time to reflect on my astounding historical knowledge dahling, it's just fascinating you know.' If it was my sibling I'd by saying this in a very posh voice and laughing my head off. We banter a lot in our family though.

Try not to take yourself too seriously OP. It's just a bit of light hearted fun I'm sure. You should have just gone in and given a bow.

BirthdayRainbow · 21/07/2024 21:13

I think your family sound immature and it's time for a conversation with your daughter about relating something someone has said to you to make fun of the speaker.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 21/07/2024 21:13

It's the dying to go off and think about that's odd.
Wanting to talk about it is normal, thinking about it on your own is normal, researching it is normal. What did you so desperately need to think about at that point? 🤷🏼‍♀️

IMustDoMoreExercise · 21/07/2024 21:12

Overtired345 · 21/07/2024 21:06

How....weird and intense of you. I'm afraid that is a very unusual reaction and will absolutely bring some eye rolls, if not laughter, in any normal circle

No, only in a bitchy nasty circle.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 21/07/2024 21:12

Its a bit of an intense thing to say to be honest OP. I probably would have just said I was just sitting quietly for a bit. BTW, how do you know that the laughing was about you?

MonsteraMama · 21/07/2024 21:11

HolyPeaches · 21/07/2024 21:02

OP, please ignore this patronising comment.

What you did, is not a weird thing to do at all. Nor is it pompous or intense.

Oh piss off, it absolutely is weird and the OP should just own her weirdness instead of pretending it's not a weird thing to do.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 21/07/2024 21:11

OriginalUsername2 · 21/07/2024 21:09

I feel bad for you! I think families over-laugh at things like this to bond.

I can see where they’re coming from, it is a bit funny in the sense that it’s a bit of a film / documentary cliche - “character stares thoughtfully into the distance contemplating the situation, hair blowing in the wind..”

There is bonding and there is bonding at someone else's expense.

The latter is nasty.

DappledThings · 21/07/2024 21:11

“I’m just popping outside for a minute”. What’s attention seeking about that??
Because it's highly unusual. I would have assumed you were upset so would have asked after you. If it turned out you weren't upset you just fancied a bit of a ponder and had deliberately left the conversation for that then yes, I would find that fairly attention seeking.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 21/07/2024 21:10

Bit pretentious I can see why they laughed

IMustDoMoreExercise · 21/07/2024 21:10

DonnySue · 21/07/2024 21:04

We were talking about the medieval times and the Anglo Scottish wars.

its my absolute favourite topic and I was dying to just go off and think about it by myself for a while so I simply said “I’m just popping outside for a minute”. What’s attention seeking about that?? The “reflection” thing was said to DD in private

You did absolutely nothing wrong.

Your family are bitchy.

My sister is like that which is why I hardly see her.

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 21/07/2024 21:09

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 21/07/2024 21:08

its my absolute favourite topic and I was dying to just go off and think about it by myself for a while

Sorry Donny but that's weird.

It’s ok to be weird, actually.
it’s not ok to mock people for it. Especially when they’re your family.

OriginalUsername2 · 21/07/2024 21:09

I feel bad for you! I think families over-laugh at things like this to bond.

I can see where they’re coming from, it is a bit funny in the sense that it’s a bit of a film / documentary cliche - “character stares thoughtfully into the distance contemplating the situation, hair blowing in the wind..”

CantSleepSweet · 21/07/2024 21:09

Usually people can compartmentalise topics they're really interested in from the need to dwell on them intensely right there and then. Are you someone who often has strong intense urges that have to be indulged immediately, or perhaps don't always follow social conventions? As others have said, it's not normal behaviour. But it's still mean for your family to laugh at you.

DonnySue · 21/07/2024 21:09

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 21/07/2024 21:08

its my absolute favourite topic and I was dying to just go off and think about it by myself for a while

Sorry Donny but that's weird.

Ok fair enough. I don’t understand why like

OP posts:
itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 21/07/2024 21:08

They can all get fucked. It’s not like you were screaming at the Sistine chapel, you were just having a wee think. Bullies.

Swipe left for the next trending thread