To think the hilarity just wasn’t necessary?

OP, I've only read your responses but not all the replies.

I love learning new stuff, particularly about history. And yes, sometimes it does make me want to sit and think for a while. I can remember going to see the Mappa Mundi in Hereford Cathedral with a couple of people who didn't 'get' it, but it sent me into a real reverie about how life would have been when it was made. I could have sat and talked about it for another hour but the people I was with wanted to go to the pub and watch the rugby and thought I was weird for having such an enthusiastic response to some old map...

I suspect there's something like that going on in your family. You're clearly bright and curious and thoughtful and imaginative and your family are people who like going to the pub for a pint to watch the sport.

Is there a local history group you might get involved in? I think you might find it packed with people like you. If you're anywhere near a university you can sometimes find public lectures that can be really fascinating, too.

And you're right, laughing at people who aren't like us is unnecessary. If I'd been there I wouldn't have laughed.

I agree.

FWIW Op, I'd do a history degree too if I won the lottery!

So you were visiting family and there was a topic of conversation you enjoyed. After the topic changed, you went outside to have a little think, and then on your return you attempted (several times by the sounds of things) to turn the conversation back to what you were interested in.

Look, I’m autistic and I hate feeling as if a conversation has moved on before I’m finished talking about a favourite subject - but that’s how conversations work. You can’t force everyone to keep going back to a subject because it’s what you have a special interest in.

It’s also rude to go outside immediately to reflect. You don’t need to do that right away, and leaving a conversation to do so is unusual, rude, and quite disrespectful to the rest of the people.

Sitting after a visit to a museum to think about what you’ve seen is worlds apart from leaving a conversation with family members that you’ve gone to visit.

I understand you feel humiliated but surely you can see why they found your behaviour a little odd and a tad pretentious?! I am intense and struggle to let subjects go, and they continue in my head even after the conversation has moved on. But I don’t fuck off to “have a think” every time that happens 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Maybe have a reflect on this thread and why so many people are saying that while your family shouldn’t have been unkind, your behaviour wasn’t the best.

It was a bit odd yes but they shouldn't ridicule you

P.s. They were mean, especially to keep on about it.

After the tour we sat in the park for a bit to reflect on it. I really can’t understand what is so odd about it, I think it’s weirder to leave somewhere like that and completely forget about what you’ve just seen

I think it's more that most people might think about it afterwards (maybe sporadically over the next day or so), but very much wouldn't feel the need to decide to go and sit somewhere on their own to do deliberate musing iyswim. They'd just have random thoughts about it while they were getting on with their day.

@DonnySue The hilarity was inappropriate and unnecessary. You sound like a kind and thoughtful person. I'm amazed at many of the comments on this thread effectively in support of bullying you.

Same!

I think they were being unkind
I don't understand how what you did was rude either; you said you were going for some air so they had no way of knowing it was because you wanted to think/weren't enjoying the conversation topic. It only became an issue when they heard the reflection comment back from your daughter which you never intended to share anyway. How can it be pretentious if you were trying to keep it private?

I wouldn't have tried to redirect the conversation BACK to history afterwards, that might have made things worse

I think you should join a club or something so you can talk about it as much as you'd like in an environment where it's considered okay to do so

It’s the self indulgence of it all that I’m so taken with! “You don’t swan off to have a historical reflection moment” but what if you did? How romantic, how whimsical! I must try it sometime

From an outsider it looks like you had a hobby horse topic, people tried to change the subject and you weren’t interested in listening to other’s thoughts and interests in their subject and sat outside on your own. I would probably have a laugh if a child did this, let alone an adult.

Why is that wow? It’s a genuine question. But then, I don’t think it’s a negative.

Wow.

For goodness sake, someone can have special interests without being autistic.

OP have you taken the AQ50?

I just don’t see why the OP is being called pretentious. She did not relay that comment to the room but in private to her young DD who, it appears, is familiar with process of reflecting on new information/experiences. We don’t all treat everything as superficial. This was a group of family members in an informal setting and leaving the room for a short time cannot rightly be defined as “ very very rude”, surely?
Alternatively, the sister’s continued ridiculing is very rude and unacceptable . Many do not seem to be able distinguish between banter and bullying.
OP if you feel able approach your DS privately and tell her how you feel and ask her to consider her behaviour in future because her “humour” is not appreciated.

The Natural History museum has beautiful gardens.

I once had to gently tell a friend that perhaps, if he really wanted a girlfriend (I know he desperately did) he shouldn't start the conversation with a 5 minute monologue about the latest harry potter fanfiction he spent all night reading, and I say that as someone who asked for recommendations! Theres nothing wrong with it, but there is value in recognising your own unusual behaviour and how it appears to others.

We shouldn't have to mask ourselves but it's a tool we can use to our advantage when needed. I'm ASD myself and my behaviour puts people off and I'm incapable of recognising why sometimes. It's so easy to think our own behaviour is normal, that we are normal but in fact we are not. We are wonderful, unique, thoughtful people and that comes with stigma and misunderstanding from the normies.

Recognise your own specialness but also your own weirdness.

As for your family, if you feel their reaction was mean spirited or this is part of a pattern where you leave feeling lesser, perhaps time to rethink the relationship..if however it was gentle and affectionate then perhaps it's best to laugh at yourself a little. It's an important lesson for your daughter which ever you choose as she may face the same choices in the future by the sounds of it.

I often reflect on things. I love history but my reflections are often work related but sometimes other topics. Sitting with a cup of coffee looking out over my garden it’s my favourite reflecting spot. However, I don’t leave mid conversation to take a moment. That’s clearly rude and odd. Don’t want to talk about Trump? Just say “oh I can’t stand that man can we not give him our headspace and talk about something else?” You don’t swan off to have a historical reflection moment.

You can be intelligent and thoughtful without being rude and frankly, weird.

I think don’t think it’s impolite to leave if people talk politics/religion/money and it makes you uncomfortable.

Honestly, OP, it's almost as if each of your posts is aimed at getting a diagnosis of neuro diversity. But this one is a real classic.

I'm sorry you were laughed at, but I do wonder if it might be worth your while exploring the idea of researching your quirks of special interest and organisation.

Honestly? I've been to loads.

Mostly manor houses that have been turned into museums, but lots of larger ones too.

The Open University,maybe?

Honestly, anyone here ridiculing OP must be about as deep as a puddle! I personally think that taking oneself outside to reflect on the discussion sounds chic and I wish I was the sort of person who’d do this!

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been to a museum that has gardens and benches.