To think the hilarity just wasn’t necessary?

We'd laugh at a family member for this but mostly all rib each other and enjoy being ribbed - African humour. I tripped over about a month ago. Every time I walk over that bit of my dad's patio they shout stop and link my arm to walk me down the step. My brother put a bit of wood there thr day it happened - CityBro's stability ramp. It's funny, but we do have other family members who might not enjoy it and we'd exclude them from said hilarity, so you're not totally U.

I have postgrad qualifications in a closely related area. Yes, it’s extremely interesting. Finding it interesting isn’t what’s odd about your behaviour. I also don’t understand why it’s being presented as ‘cleverness’. It’s not ‘clever’, just odd.

You can wonder, ponder, think and research alone. You don’t leave a gathering to sit and do so. It’s strange behaviour. As you must know, as you live in the world and see how other people behave.

I’d have laughed, as well.

OP, I wouldn’t laugh. In conversations where I’m getting a lot of new information or new angles, I like to have a bit of time to run through them and check I’ve got things straight. If I’m on the phone, I often scribble down notes. I’m glad of a few minutes to recap.

If I'm honest, no, I'm not intrigued by my own family's past, it's not my particular interest. I'm interested for a short while, if a relative shares some information with me, but not enough to research it or want to talk about it a lot. That's the thing, other people have different things that fascinate them, and some don't find anything that fascinating in depth but like to chat across a lot of topics. If you expect others to share your fascination, it's going to be socially tricky. That's why joining a history society, or online communities researching genealogies would be interesting for you, as others would be equally enthusiastic.

My family would have howled with laughter, and we have something like 14 degrees between us.

OP, can you say more about exactly what it is you need to reflect on? Your comment about having to reorder all your photos/images in the album every time you acquire a new one because they all have to be in exact chronological order suggests you try to put historical ‘facts’ in order in quite set ways — is that what you do when you withdraw, try to put th8ng in order in your head?

Can't you read?

OP didn't say it to her family. She said to her own DD outside, then the DD related it to the family inside who then took the piss.

It's really not that hard to take 2 minutes to comprehend a few sentences.

I see where you’re coming from, and I’m sorry it mean like I singled out your post and not @Leafygreen84. The last thing I want to be is some sort of thread police officer, as I know that’s not my place. I commented on your post because it read to me like you were personally insulting Leafygreen, whereas I took Leafygreen’s post to be a comment about the OP’s behaviour.

Of course it’s not kind to say that someone’s behaviour is pretentious or wanky - I get that. It’s just that I think it’s less personal - and maybe less hurtful - to focus on someone’s behaviour rather than focus on someone’s personality, like I felt your post did with Leafygreen, with the comments about being shallow and thick.

This is, of course, just my opinion though of two of your posts.

I’ve been to lots of stately homes with them but I don’t see them as museums per se.

But presumably it would be out of character for your sister.
I'd have thought for OP this would be the kind of thing she often does and wouldn't be seen as outrageously funny.

I was thinking the same, some of the comments on here are awful.....

I thought this. It's the lack of recognition to see why others may have found it odd, needing time to decompress (reflect), being bored when a favourite subject is not being talked about and trying to steer the convo back to a favourite subject, lining up of dates and photos and making sure everything has a place and that place is correct - self made rules? Special interest and collecting things.

I don't think it's weird but can see why others might think so - it's not the usual response to a family chat.

Your post is lovely and supportive, and I agree fully with what you’re trying to say, but I just wanted to mention the bit where you write -

‘You're clearly bright and curious and thoughtful and imaginative and your family are people who like going to the pub for a pint to watch the sport.’

I just wanted to mention that it’s entirely possible to be someone who’s bright/curious etc and also someone who likes going to the pub or watching sport. We’re all complex and multifaceted, with loads of different qualities and traits, which change over time. In line with that, if you enjoy ‘intellectual’ things, it doesn’t mean you can’t also enjoy less obviously intellectual things (to generalise). I’m sure that’s not how you intended your post to read, but I just wanted to mention. E.g. my Dad is very practical and good at DIY etc, loves watching football and rugby but also likes history, classical music, poetry, ballet and the theatre. It’s possible to like all of those things.

If she had been in on the joke it would have been fine, but they were laughing at her. Reading this thread just goes to show why there is so much bullying in schools, children are learning how to behave from their parents. Wonder if all the laughing people would feel if they were the ones being laughed at.

Your family are EXACTLY the people to mock you! Most families engage in slagging, ribbing, etc as an integral part of family culture, I'd rather that so long as it stays on the right side of mean than polite formality.

If you were my sister, I would never let you live this down 😂😂

What a ridiculous thing to come out with.

I love stimulating conversations like this and when topics move from one thing to another so quickly it's all too easy for topics to get lost in the ether isn't it @DonnySue? I think it was a great idea to go outside and reflect and imagine. History is amazing! As is our capacity to transport ourselves to different times and try to empathise with our forebearers.

Your family sound a little ignorant in the moment but I'd forgive them by the fact that they were having an engaged discussion about such a fascinating topic. I think the use of 'reflection' probably sounded a little precocious coming from a 9 year old and I expect that this is what they were laughing at so please don't take it personally.

Go and study history as it's obviously a passion for you!

Ah i feel sorry for you OP. We are not good at tolerating ‘difference’. I expect they had images of you adopting the pose of Rodin’s Thinker and found it a bit silly.

I guess it would make a difference if it was meant humorously or nastily. I can see why it hurts and you feel embarrassed. But they won’t be thinking about it any more and neither should you. We need people who think!

Assuming your family is fairly familiar with you and these little quirks, in this situation I would maybe have inwardly smiled and thought ah that is such a you thing to do/say.
It was a little odd, not rude, and presumably normal for you.
They were mean to laugh and laugh at your expense.

So, lots of people who would laugh at a relative just because they think it's weird.
OP has said how it made her feel and yet lots of people wouldn't care if their relative felt that way.
I don't think you did anything wrong and you just said you were going out for some fresh air. Then your DD asked what you were doing.
Your sister sounds like a total bitch tbh.

I’d have 100% laughed…I laughed at your post to be honest.

No you piss off.

“Oh bless you” in your original comment. How patronising. 🤢

It’s not weird at all. Telling someone to “own their weirdness” is fucking rude. People should own their differences. ‘Weird’ isn’t a kind word to say to someone. It implies they’re negatively different or strange.

Are you neurodiverse @DonnySue ? x

I don’t think what you did was wrong in the way some people seem to be implying by saying it was weird or that you should have ignored your desire to sit and reflect. What harm does that do? I would have shared this with my dc too, I would like them to know it’s ok to retreat and contemplate something on their own. My ds needs alone time after intense interactions in order to process, and I think I do too but it has been conditioned out of me.

My family might have mocked me a bit too had my child told them this and I’ve felt that feeling where I’m disappointed that the conversation and atmosphere has moved on when I’m not ready to stop talking about it. But that doesn’t mean you need to change anything about yourself OP. They shouldn’t have gone on and one about it.

So the person called her pretentious & wanky isn’t a personal comment then? Not nice when it’s given back is it.