To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

DH works from home in a section of our bedroom. I consider it out of bounds when he is working and respect his space.

Is the communication that bad between you that you can’t just ask him to nap on the sofa?
Why is it such a big deal?

Why is he napping?

I nap in our bedroom while my husband works in the same room sometimes. He has never said it bothers him. But if he did I would just go nap somewhere else.

This is the flip side of wfh which so many people think is brilliant. If you don't have a bespoke office space and/or there are other people at home during the day, you either have to compromise or accept wfh isn't possible for you.

We recently had the "pleasure" of trying to manage 4 of us wfh to different schedules. It needs a huge amount of patience and compromise. You can't just set up in a space that works for you and expect everyone else in the household to lump it.

Doubt that will happen....it would mean getting back into the workplace

They work round each other.

At the moment the system is that the OP unlaterally expects to have the bedroom between 9 and 5 (or whenever). However, if he wants the bedroom for a nap between 2 and 3, then she accommodates this by relocating to the lounge at this time.

Because that's so easy 🙄. I have no choice but to work from home 3 days a week, there is no one else in the office so I'm not allowed in alone. I don't want to move to a home with suitable space and even if I did, I can't afford to. If my company have taken the decision that we have to work from home they have to accept that I live in a one bed flat and therefore DH will be around as it's his home.

You're working in the bedroom, he's not sleeping in your office (and I have the same set up as you).

Agree

Yep, this!

If she set up in the living room he'd probably come in and turn on the TV.

Why not?

Why’s he sleeping while you’re working?!

There are a thousand reasons why he could need a nap

Why can't you work on the sofa and he gets the bedroom. You know - the bedroom, with a bed, that's a designated sleeping area?

At the end of the day it is not professional for him to be your work space no matter where it is.
So your options are you work outside of the home or you agree that between X-Y hrs that he treats your work space as a no go. Both me and my partner work from home. Him in our spare room 4 days a week, me in our bedroom twice a week when the door is closed we don't enter each other's work space. For a short period when I used to work in the kitchen everytime he wanted to make a tea or have lunch (his right) I would have to not take calls and close down screens as part of my working from home obligations (client data) as I had said I had a private space to work.

At the end of the day you need to work to bring in an income. If you are not able to work outside of the home for whatever reason then you need to have a no go space in the house and he needs to respect that as part of the commitment you've made to work from home.

If he's in the bedroom you could equally use the sofa?

I don't think it's reasonable to expect him not to use his own bedroom. If he wanted to go for a run (since some people are taking exception to napping) would he be able to come in and change or would this be a problem as well?

I voted YABU because it’s a bedroom, not an office and a home is a home first. That said, I would be incredibly distracted by this and explain to him. It would be nice if he decided to nap on the sofa but I don’t think you can dictate that.

OP - if you are wfh permanently and FT, you need to get a home with suitable space or go out to office. Sorry, but work must be done professionally and that means having a proper office space.

This thread is peak MN on double standards

We all know that if this was OP posting she couldn't use the bedroom during her none working days because DH was WFH there then she'd be told he was unreasonable, it's their house not an office... there'd be very few comments calling her lazy and telling her to get a full time job.

She might still get some crap for napping because MN is weird about it but less than a man would

OP - you want to separate work from home life? Don't work at home. Find a hot desk venue, use a booked room in the library, use a coffee shop in a quiet corner

Genuinely, is he alright? Has he ever had his thyroid/iron/b12 etc checked?

The OP in this thread isn't directly comparable, but the difference in the general tone toward the OP's DH wfh is striking: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5049279-to-be-a-bit-horrified-by-dhs-suggestion-that-he-works-from-home-ft

I'm also torn. His behaviour is shitty and childish but why? Is he inconsiderate or is he making a point (poorly) about being able to use his house?

Is this a job that was always fully home based or has this changed? I think this is important. Was it a thing you both agreed on?

I had a fully WFH job but had a home office so it didn't impact anyone else in the house unless we had guests. But that was still something that was agreed with my partner.

If it's impacting you both then maybe you need to think about another solution. I'd be very unhappy about my bedroom also being an office.

No they wouldn't. What posters DO say when the sexes are reversed is that equipment and work should be kept out of communal areas so others can use the lounge and kitchen so advise the female OP to ask if her dh or dp would go in the bedroom.

I don't understand his thinking at all. Do you work full time and he work part time @LookAtThatCritter ? Is your wage necessary for keeping the household afloat? If so, he needs to respect that and allow you some privacy to do your job. I wouldn't dream of doing that if my OH was working in a room and he wouldn't either. I'd let him get on with it as I'm sure other considerate people would.
People are so against doing the smallest thing to make someone else's life a little more easier these days aren't they?

YANBU. He benefits from your salary so should respect your need for privacy. Why is he napping during the day anyway? If he worked full time he wouldn't have that luxury. Is he just lazy?