DH took our DD2 trampolining in her pyjamas

OP also said that he left her in a shitty nappy because she didn’t want it changing.

It isn’t fair that he gets to be the ‘fun dad’ and OP is the only one insisting on clean teeth and other basic parenting.

I still think the original post is a non-issue.
Agreed.
Not changing a shitty nappy isn’t simply having an ‘off day’.
OP specifically said he doesn't not-change nappies.
I agree with pp who don't take this seriously.
At one point, ours was so difficult about getting dressed in a morning that I simply put him in all-cotton tracksuits, day and night. He was content to bath and change each day at some time, just not first thing.
He let me clean his teeth thoroughly each night, and I gave him a toothbrush for him to clean his teeth through the day whenever he had something to eat. That was the bit of hygiene I would not let up on.
My priority was to give him a happy childhood and teach him how to help everyone around us be happy too.

My first question is why is your 2yr old still waking multiple times a night that surely can't be right, however I have a useless twat for a husband too who also thinks it's acceptable to take our DS7 out with out cleaning his teeth or washing his face he also thinks it's acceptable to go 4 nights without a bath get yours trained now before it's too late

So what are you doing to do about it?

When your kids are older and realise what a waste of space their father was, they will also wonder why you did nothing about it.

It would have bothered me ten years ago but now I see grown ups in what looks like PJ 's out in public. Ok m afraid some people are just not very good at grooming practices.
Hes probably excellent in other areas of life , which matter. What worries me more is the sexualised clothing lines for children these days. I think this is a example of planning better in future if he needs to take her out. Another thing kids are just little dirt collecters anyway. ...as long as shes fed clothed and covedered and hes a good provider in other ways, it dont matter in the great skheme of things. Unless shes going to meet the King then dont let this ruin your set up.

You obviously draw your line on how to care for a child lower than most.

And no, if the father just stopped caring for their child because they were being pulled up on not brushing the child's teeth that would make him very unattractive. We're not talking about differences in opinion on how to hang out washing or stacking the dishwasher.

She used to put her kids to bed in school clothes to save time getting them dressed in the mornings.

I know you don't mean older kids, but I just had a funny image of my poor 15 yo sleeping in his blazer and polyester trousers! Sweaty!

Wouldn't the clothes have been rather crumpled after being slept in?

Yep!

Arrhhhh, if going out the next morning, the mistake made was not putting her to bed in comfy clothes. My aunt had a family and worked and had to look at where to cut time so had a whole stash of hacks I then tapped into when I had my kids. She used to put her kids to bed in school clothes to save time getting them dressed in the mornings. Hair was done and teeth cleaned though. Didn’t hurt them, they got to school and didn’t look different to anyone else who’d put their on that morning, she got to work on time, win! They all grew up to be normal adults who dressed themselves in the mornings etc😊.

Let him parent his way. If you keep telling him that he’s doing it wrong then he will slowly stop doing stuff.

it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

OP, if you haven't read it yet, here's a vision of your future: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5110829-to-want-to-discipline-dd-in-this-way

I'd talk to him now about his refusal to do the work of parenting. The trampolining is clearly not a one off.

He needs to do it himself. Basic care of your child isn’t a small issue.

Why??? Is he not capable of selecting clothes for his own child??? So her not laying out the clothes is HER getting in the way of their bonding. How ridiculous.
And by the way bonding doesn’t just happen through nice trips out with dad. It happens through him meeting all of her needs on a regular basis.
The dad who can’t wash and dress his child for a trip out will also be the dad who doesn’t think it’s important to for her to have brushed hair, neat/clean school uniform on, face washed and brushed teeth for nursery and later school and she’ll be teased. But that’s mums job isn’t it?

Jeez the low standards and the expectations of dads on here! Why would it be a one off? He’s her dad- he should be spending regular one on one time with with and some of that will involve taking her out and he should be undertaking basic care which includes a wash, dress, hair and teeth brushed.

Why can’t he put out the clothes the night before? Bonding my arse, he’s having a couple of hours where the parenting responsibilities are solely on him and he can’t even organise himself properly on that. As for the poster early on who said it was nice her husband had spared her more washing to do, I honest to god despair of the low levels expected of men on here at times.

Many men and women are like that! If it bothers you (rightly so!) perhaps help by setting out clothes the night before? So that you aren’t letting a “small issue” get in the way of their bonding / him taking her out.

It would bother me OP, it’s just basic hygiene clean your teeth wash your face get dressed no matter what age you are

Shame he can't think for himself though.

Yeah my DH can't get our DS2 into his pj's if I am working past 7.
Poor kid sometimes asleep in his coat. Thought he was taking his shoes off, but turns out DS2 is doing that, hence why they are in middle of living room.

I am expected to get myself and Dc ready to go out, he cant even be bothered to look after him for 10 mins while I wash. Sickens me tbh.

It’s the bare minimum of care!!! Yes it would annoy me and yes I would be questioning why she wasn’t washed and dressed. Teeth as well.

As a one off “let’s go trampolining” on the the spur of the moment situation it probably wouldn’t bother me but in this scenario I’d be annoyed. It just shows a lack of giving a damn.

You dont need to "appreciate" him parenting his daughter for a start, it's him job. Just as much of it is his job to ensure she is washed dressed and teeth brushed and fed. Would he take her to school/nursery like this? If he did and did it repeatedly flags would be raised for safe guarding. Now Im not at all saying there's any issues, you are obviously loving parents and you make sure she's cared for appropriately, but you need to bring this to him and say, ts brilliant you are having one on one time and it's so nice for me to have a lay in and a break, but we both have to show her hygiene is important or when I do it she will start to refuse, because she'll think it's not important so from this week you have to make sure she's sorted properly before you go out
Does he not wash, dress and do his own teeth?

Yes it would bother me. Just lazy.

He doesn't need it but she wants to give it?

Agree but it diesnt seem to be acceptable to the lady does it?