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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask this woman to stop?!

374 replies

MarriedMama23 · 30/06/2024 08:25

It's really starting to bother me now but I'm annoyingly polite.

Basically I have a driveway and quite often I will put things at the end of it (within my boundaries) for passing tat men to take away.

Recently there's this woman that walks past quite often as I think she lives nearby, if there is something at the end of my driveway, she will pick it up and come knock my door. Conversation went a bit like:

Her: You left this outside
Me: Yeah, I put it out for the scrap men, it's broken/don't want it anymore
Her: ....
Me: You can have it if you want it?
Her: head tilt, confused looking at me and item no...
Me: Can you pop it back where it was then please?

She did so but she keeps doing it! Always similar variation of this conversation above. She will pick the item up (most recently, an old broken speaker) and trot up to my door to tell me I left it outside? Why? How do I explain to this woman? I'm fairly sure she's native English speaking so I don't think it's a language barrier?

Aibu?

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 30/06/2024 08:59

Yeah not sure I would be overly keen on a neighbour leaving tat on their drive for 24 hours. Tumble dryers, pots and pans, broken speakers. It must look like Steptoe’s yard. It’s her way of saying ‘bring your crap in, I know you don’t want it, but I don’t want to look at it either? Have you heard of the tip?’

Poolstream · 30/06/2024 09:00

magnoliablooms · 30/06/2024 08:56

Oh my god why are you getting rid of SO MUCH stuff??? Sort yourself out

Well she obviously is sorting herself out surely.

@MarriedMama23 your property, your choice. Ignore the ndn.

magnoliablooms · 30/06/2024 09:00

I can understand if you're clearing a house. Or a room but why aren't you disposing of broken washing machines properly?? Pay the council to uplift and recycle if possible

PortiasBiscuit · 30/06/2024 09:01

Stop dumping your crap on the end of your drive where people can see it. This would drive me nuts.
Take it to the tip or take it to the charity shop, it’s not hard.

Seeline · 30/06/2024 09:01

Here in South London you daren't leave anything in your front garden unattended for more than 5 minutes or one of the scrap men will have it!
One neighbour was gardening and popped round the back for an extra tool. On return he saw the scrap man pulling away having collected his tools.
Another neighbor had a new boiler and paid extra for the old one to be recycled. By the time the recycling company arrived, the old boiler had been taken by scrap men (space if 2 hours!).
It's a very common concept here.

hopscotcher · 30/06/2024 09:01

In true Mumsnet (or anti-Mumsnet?) style...I wouldn't answer the door to her.

IFollowRivers · 30/06/2024 09:01

It's really normal round me. Stuff goes out for 24 hours and if it is not collected then we throw away.

Your neighbour is nuts.

Nurber · 30/06/2024 09:02

DustyLee123 · 30/06/2024 08:29

Tell her that if she trespasses again you’ll call the police.

Alternatively dose with anthrax. That should do the job.

Nurber · 30/06/2024 09:02

PortiasBiscuit · 30/06/2024 09:01

Stop dumping your crap on the end of your drive where people can see it. This would drive me nuts.
Take it to the tip or take it to the charity shop, it’s not hard.

Why would it drive you nuts?

IncompleteSenten · 30/06/2024 09:02

Next time she does it just tell her look, I put stuff out there regularly because I want it to go and it does go. I know it's there because I put it there. Don't knock again.

LadyMuckRake · 30/06/2024 09:03

Sadza · 30/06/2024 08:54

Who leaves stuff regularly in the drive for ‘tat’ men? What are ‘tat’ men? Do you live in a Steptoe style junkyard? How often are you leaving stuff out? If it’s collected every 24 hours surely this can’t be an ongoing problem. This post can’t be real.

Yeh, I'm in Ireland and sometimes I get a cloth skip and before too long there will be a traveller rooting through the skip, so even though it's a known understood concept here, I still apologise to neighbours. "Skip being collected in 3 days"

I would be surprised by a neighbour not hiring a skip but permanently leaving tumble driers or speakers on their drive.

You wouldn't do that in my estate and it's not a "nice" estate. 80s terraces, very basic. But even though we're all familiar with travellers taking scrap if they think they could sell it, nobody just leaves a permanent pile of crap in their drive. For context, I own my house but it'd be priced at the lower end of the cost of houses in my town.

So your neighbour is wondering why you don't get that!!

2dogsandabudgie · 30/06/2024 09:03

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BagFullOfNoodles · 30/06/2024 09:03

Desertislandparadise · 30/06/2024 08:56

Have to say this whole thread is weird to me. Is this the norm in the UK?

No, not little things like pots and pans, or speakers, people usually take those to a tip or charity shop if still in good condition.
Leaving things out for the scrap man is usual but it's usually on a set day of the week and large metal items, like a tumble dryer, a metal swing frame etc, so doesn't happen regularly because how often do you have a big chunk of scrap metal lying about. OP seems to just leave rubbish on her drive which is irritating her neighbour

magnoliablooms · 30/06/2024 09:03

What is it you think the "tat man" does with it?

Thepartnersdesk · 30/06/2024 09:05

The guys that collect it must be scrapping it or what would be the point?

If they charged for collection then I see the fly tipping issue without proper licence but if you collect it for nothing you want the value of the metal otherwise you are a volunteer flytipper which would make no sense.

Sugargliderwombat · 30/06/2024 09:06

Maray1967 · 30/06/2024 08:30

Might she think the street looks messy and it’s her (clumsy) way of saying don’t leave crap out in the street/in view of the street?

I’m not saying she’s right!!
Either that - or she is not very well, mentally.

This! For it to happen enough to annoy you you must be leaving a lot out. 😬

thesummerIturnedtoredbull · 30/06/2024 09:06

Simonjt · 30/06/2024 08:34

Its likely making the street look messy and unkempt, a bit like fly tipping in a rural layby.

Are you checking the person collecting your rubbish has an appropriate waste license??

This. So glad my neighbours don’t do this.

TheLadyOfTheFlowers · 30/06/2024 09:06

Stare her out.

She trots up to your door with your stuff, don't speak to her, just look at her, look at what she's holding and slowly close the door remaining eye contact with her till the last second.

That should freak the silly woman out enough to stop.

Thegreatgiginthesky · 30/06/2024 09:07

I think it is unreasonable to leave junk on your front lawn every couple of weeks. If every did this the neighbourhood would look very messy. If you need it collected I think it would be more reasonable to store it and arrange it every 3 months or so.

Hoppinggreen · 30/06/2024 09:07

Maddy70 · 30/06/2024 08:32

I wouldnt think it was free to take. You need a sign

Even if the homeowner had told you repeatedly that it was?

CoolShoeshine · 30/06/2024 09:07

magnoliablooms · 30/06/2024 09:00

I can understand if you're clearing a house. Or a room but why aren't you disposing of broken washing machines properly?? Pay the council to uplift and recycle if possible

But surely if you paid the council to take away for recycling you'd have to leave it at the front of your house for collection? My local certainly wouldn't come into the house to collect any items, unless the householder was disabled or elderly.

TheFlis · 30/06/2024 09:07

BagFullOfNoodles · 30/06/2024 09:03

No, not little things like pots and pans, or speakers, people usually take those to a tip or charity shop if still in good condition.
Leaving things out for the scrap man is usual but it's usually on a set day of the week and large metal items, like a tumble dryer, a metal swing frame etc, so doesn't happen regularly because how often do you have a big chunk of scrap metal lying about. OP seems to just leave rubbish on her drive which is irritating her neighbour

It’s not a set day where I live, and people leave our all sorts for them, including pots and pans!

HolyPeaches · 30/06/2024 09:07

Sadza · 30/06/2024 08:54

Who leaves stuff regularly in the drive for ‘tat’ men? What are ‘tat’ men? Do you live in a Steptoe style junkyard? How often are you leaving stuff out? If it’s collected every 24 hours surely this can’t be an ongoing problem. This post can’t be real.

I know them as ‘scrap men’ or ‘rag and bone men’.
Before cars they used to come on horse and carts to collect unwanted items. Mostly scrap metal nowadays. So been around a long time. Google is free if you want to gander.

The scrap men come round my street at least once a fortnight. OP’s post is entirely plausible.

Gelasring · 30/06/2024 09:08

Have people really not got or heard of scrap men coming round? We regularly get them coming round shouting 'any old iron'. I have to be honest, I'd never thought to check their credentials but fly tipping round here never seems to consist of 'any old iron' so I don't think it's an issue.

I agree she's probably trying to make a point though. You don't seem remotely scared to stick up for yourself on here so take some of that energy and blast it at her when she next knocks on your door.

MrsClownland · 30/06/2024 09:08

MarriedMama23 · 30/06/2024 08:44

Every couple of weeks/months it's usually whenever I put something out.

I was meaning how often do you put stuff out, not how often she knocks. Every couple of weeks does not sound too bad. But people can spend a lot of time making their gardens look nice and then random bits of junk will do nothing for the kerb appeal! Maybe she wants to sell her house?

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