DD6’s party, Jemima’s mother and the clownfairy part 2

I find it strange really as in my experience (Scotland) the children are mainly dropped and left from P1 onwards! The odd parent would stay to help but mainly they go and enjoy their child free hours! In nursery parents would always stay but after that, it would be unusual.

I think most people could see a middle ground here.

The OP overreacted to a few reasonable messages and was quite rude to the mother and some posters here. She could be more accepting that some kids might need a bit more support and generally be a bit nicer to keep the peace. She seems to quite enjoy antagonising people and that is getting some peoples backs up hence the thread is carrying on.

On the other hand she is entitled to do what she wants in her own home. I think she will be very capable of looking after 9 kids on her own and I am sure her daughter will have a lovely party. She is obviously a good mother to her kids and at the end of the day that's the most important thing here.

"I think people are getting very stressed on both sides."

The OP is cool, calm and collected in comparison to some of the posters on here.

Please listen to the Voice of Experience here (capitals used to stress how much experience and how loud that voice is).

Do NOT, under any circumstances, do a piñata. I always had dd's parties at home. The girls in her class were lovely, polite, well-behaved girls. There had never been an issue at any of her parties until The Year of the Piñata. They turned into completely insane, vicious monsters. We did manage to avoid any trips to A&E but that involved wresting the stick off various girls at various stages and then acting as physical barriers to prevent 20 girls jumping on top of one another when it finally opened up.

And fair play for getting the fairy magician. Your experience of Ariel and Ana/Elsa was exactly what I had assumed a fairy party would be. A magician sounds much better. Shame how socialisation frequently results in girls missing out. Although I assume you outsourced the DD, what with you being a hands off, child hating career woman and all.

I think people are getting very stressed on both sides.

Indeed. The posters are highly stressed and are simply annoyed that OP isn't stressed too.

Then close the thread and don't come back to it? I don't think you get to police what is or isn't a two thread issue!

But it isn’t 15, it is 12 at the most (if everyone turns up) and yes, many of us do think it is acceptable regardless if you are in NZ or the UK.

Not letting kids develop their own sense of independence at appropriate times and telling them to see tigers in trees where there are none does not help with resilience as they grow up IMO.

Um ....

'9 guests have RSVPed of a total of 12 invites'

Perhaps keep your knowledge up to date if you are going to continue to bash OP for no other reason other than you're personal child-adult comfort ratios.

It really isn’t a two thread worthy issue.
OP hosts a party
invites a kid
kids mum asks to stay
OP says no
other mum says fine ok

that should have been the end of it tbh.

I do believe many kids are way more wimpy pandered to and clingy than in the past and agree with @Lillieloola that this wasn’t as much of an issue years ago. But that is a post for another day.

The OP set up the thread and asked for opinions. She has now set up a second one!!

RosieChardonnay · Today 11:38
"I think this has gotten completely out of hand.

The OP obviously has a bad attitude and is maybe not the nicest of people.

Just let her be. She seems very stressed"

Rather it's certain posters on here who seem overly stressed concerning a 6 year olds party that has nothing to do with them. Not the Op.

What a prick.
But remember you got your children away from sharing a home with him.
You should be so so proud of yourself.
As they grow they will thrive because of your bravery.
Pricks like him will likely have expectations of contact in later years, but children like yours often provide great karma.
I hope you still keep notes for the day they say No to seeing him and you will have dates and times to lend weight to their decision.
You are a really great woman and mother👏💪.

15 children actually (including hers) , maybe you should've read the previous thread.

I think this has gotten completely out of hand.

The OP obviously has a bad attitude and is maybe not the nicest of people.

Just let her be. She seems very stressed.

I agree with @RosieChardonnay - it was the tone of your opening post OP that felt unkind.

You're clearly very stressed though currently and the build up to birthday parties can really stretch people.

You are way too invested in the details of 6yo birthday parties of our antipodean friends

But that's not the question posed, it's OP's query or concern, so why on earth should it be yours? She has 9 children attending – this is quite simply not an issue whatsoever.

I am in UK and hosted many parties when my three were little. Can only ever remember one parent staying at one party. It was so unusual that now ,25 years later I can remember her name,what dress the child was wearing etc .
So no it was not common back in the day and I would have hated having all the parents there. Children so much better behaved when parents not present !
OP it was your tone and attitude towards Jemima Mother that I found quite disrespectful. Also I always had a couple of other adults available just to give me a hand with food etc not because there would be a full blown emergency as the drama lamas were saying in previous thread .

That's great for you but the lack of acceptance that not all kids are like this is the problem here.
Some kids need a bit more support. The other mum asked a couple of fairly basic polite questions and the OP has gotten so riled up about it and started two threads about it. Seems pretty ridiculous.