DD6’s party, Jemima’s mother and the clownfairy part 2

I've not got anxiety or hang ups, thanks all the same.
I've also got kids myself, and I've happily dropped them off at parties and gone off, even when they were 5.

But, I've only left them if A) that was the expected thing from the parents, and B) only if I knew that there wasn't just one person looking after loads of kids.

Thankfully, whichever parties my kids have gone to, there's never been a time when there was only one adult. Maybe that's because it's the norm for people I know to have common sense when it comes to looking after so many kids, and it wouldn't even be considered or occur to anyone to do it single handedly.

I can't figure out whether this is a recent thing, or a social class thing, because when I was a kid (in the UK) it was literally unheard of for a kids' party to be anything other than a drop-and-run, from about three years old onwards. If any parent had expected to stay for a child's party, everyone would have thought they were total weirdos.

This is your anxiety or hangup or whatever you want to call it, has nothing to do with the thread subject. OP has made it clear, multiple times, that these drop off parties for this many children are completely typical and frequent.

Everything you're saying is completely your own guesswork and nothing to do with the thread – it's completely valueless, so give it a rest.

Can I just say (this is a very outing story) when I was 9 I ran over a sewing needle that was lying in the carpet and it snapped off an embedded itself in my foot. My mum’s best friend was getting married that weekend so I wasn’t taken to the doctor for a week (no one realised the needle was jammed in there, they thought I was being a hypochondriac) by which time it was well and truly wedged and they needed to put me under GA and slice my foot open to get it out. The 80s were a bloody wild time to be a kid!

My mother tells this story with no shame at all, she thinks it’s hilarious

I hobbled around with a fractured ankle and dislocated shoulder for 3 weeks, still lived to tell the tale. Equally we were playing outside at 4/5 completely unsupervised so I think the level of hysteria around kids these days is truly insane and giving our kids anxiety and mh problems!

I have only read the op on the other thread, but is the mum local? Because where I am it would be horrifying to suggest parents don’t stay at a 6yo birthday party, it’d be the talk of the school and I’m not even joking. 20 parents squished into a house for one my dcs friends 6th bday party a few days ago. Parents are only just starting ti drop and run with the 9th bdays my older child is having.

Can I just say (this is a very outing story) when I was 9 I ran over a sewing needle that was lying in the carpet and it snapped off an embedded itself in my foot. My mum’s best friend was getting married that weekend so I wasn’t taken to the doctor for a week (no one realised the needle was jammed in there, they thought I was being a hypochondriac) by which time it was well and truly wedged and they needed to put me under GA and slice my foot open to get it out. The 80s were a bloody wild time to be a kid!

My mother tells this story with no shame at all, she thinks it’s hilarious

But that's just it, we don't know if the parents are aware of the arrangement. If they are, that's up to them.
But when asked if she'd told the parents/ put on invites that it'd only be her looking after everyone, then she refused to answer.

I'd bet that if the parents know it's just her, and not even one other person helping out, they'd be a bit concerned and offer to help her themselves.

Most likely the parents assume that she'll not be alone, and are happy to leave the kids.

This thread/pair of threads is such a microcosm of everything that is wrong with Mumsnet now.

OP asks a question

Posters in opposition get annoyed when OP doesn't fall to the floor and thank them for their service (on your bingo card will appear 'why did you bother posting if you already know the answer?)

Posters start to dredge up and/or invent everything they can to attempt to get one over on the OP, all of which has nothing to do with the original query (bingo card: 'seems like you should spent more time with your children than with your nose in your phone')

OP either fades away to allow the thread to run for 40 pages of other poster's insult each other (bingo card: 'do you lack reading comprehension?', 'are you the OP?' and 'maybe time to get off the internet, sweetie')

Or OP will turn airy fairy and nonchalant in the face of insults thrown, which will further infuriate the poster who are unable to accept that they cannot win the battle or get the last word (bingo card: 'you're not the thread police')

And as I said, 12 or 15 is still less than/about the same as half of the number in a classroom - and parents aren’t there either. Not all schools have a plethora of TA’s.

But you have asked the question about whether or not we would consider querying the OP about her adult/child ratios as ‘batshit’ and the answer from many on here is in the nicest possible way, yes. And I can’t imagine being the child whose Mum has said no to attending the party arriving at school on Monday when all the girls who have attended are talking about it and not really understanding why they weren’t allowed to go even thought they had been invited. They are 6 and this sort of stuff matters to them - they don’t like to miss out. They certainly wouldn’t understand why this Mum can’t look after them indoors when their teacher does exactly 5 days a week….

Some people have this many children to care for every day. School teachers, holiday clubs, parents with big families. What do people expect to happen exactly? They set themselves on fire 🔥 drown each other, crack cocaine!! WTF!

Look at the last thread. It was 15 the OP thought she'd be looking after.

No, it's on her original OP in this thread, which one should read before continuing to comment. Whether it's 5 or 15, if the parents of the children are happy with the arrangement and OP is happy with the arrangement then it is none of your concern and completely irrelevant to the thread topic.

Oh I see, the OP has clearly updated this thread to say that only 9 have replied so far, and a few others tbc, so could be at least 12 attending, apart from her own, which is near as damn it.

Regardless, she was still prepared to look after 15 according to the last thread.

"I think people are getting very stressed on both sides."

The OP is cool, calm and collected in comparison to some of the posters on here.

Oh I see, the OP has clearly updated this thread to say that only 9 have replied so far, and a few others tbc, so could be at least 12 attending, apart from her own, which is near as damn it.

Regardless, she was still prepared to look after 15 according to the last thread.

I am very much not stressed. Leaving an abusive fuckknuckle of a husband is stressful. Fighting to keep your kids in your family home is stressful.

Organising a fairy party for 6 year olds and getting your adult child ratios criticised by health and safety inspectors on the internet is not stressful.

The piñata idea sounds potentially highly stressful though so thank you @OchonAgusOchonOh I will be axing that idea and going with pin the tail on the unicorn instead. Potential for kids getting jabbed with pins though? What would the risk register say?

But it isn’t 15, it is 12 at the most (if everyone turns up) and yes, many of us do think it is acceptable regardless if you are in NZ or the UK.

Not letting kids develop their own sense of independence at appropriate times and telling them to see tigers in trees where there are none does not help with resilience as they grow up IMO.

Um ....

'9 guests have RSVPed of a total of 12 invites'

Perhaps keep your knowledge up to date if you are going to continue to bash OP for no other reason other than you're personal child-adult comfort ratios.