Page 2 | DD6’s party, Jemima’s mother and the clownfairy part 2

Endoftheroad12345 · 2024-06-18T02:44:44+00:00

Hi all After my last post here [[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5097890-to-tell-a-mum-of-a-guest-that-she-cant-stay-at-dd6s-birthday-party?page=1 https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5097890-to-tell-a-mum-of-a-guest-that-she-cant-stay-at-dd6s-birthday-party?page=1]] I thought some of you might be interested in an update. The clown/fairy I had booked ghosted me when I tried to confirm!!!! so for a moment there I was panicking about having no entertainer and felt that the mumsnet curse of hoping that DD had a shitty party would come true!!!!! luckily though, I have found and booked a back up fairy. So that mitigates the clown phobia risk 9 guests have RSVPed if a total of 12 invites (I had guessed 15), 3 TBC. Of the 12, I know 6 mothers (most of them just to say hi to at school). 3 who have RSVPed I couldn’t pick out of a line up. So far no other parents have asked to stay. Or indeed asked for any other details (or an “plan”)about the party. Forecast is for pissing rain on Sunday. The last few pages of the thread took a weird turn while I was asleep and started talking about swimming parties and lifeguards. We do actually have a pool … (I know I sound like I’m trolling at this point.) There will not be a lifeguard on duty, but as it’s about 12 degrees here so I don’t think anyone will be getting in the unheated pool. (Am WFH today because DS has a high fever and power-chucked in the hallway last night while I was making cupcakes at 10pm for the sodding school fundraiser. As DS coughed in my face while he spreadeagled across my bed, I did think wistfully of one poster on the last thread who thought I was probably a cashed up career woman who barely saw her kids.)

HarrietPierce · 22/06/2024 07:00

"The thought of leaving my child with an adult I barely know in a house full of 6 years olds makes me feel faint.
it must be a cultural thing, cos here in the UK, you don’t just leave your child with random adults you don’t know, birthday party or not."

Certainly not cultural. You are hardly speaking for the whole of the UK. For a birthday party with classmates in the host's home, I don't know anybody who felt the need to stay with their 6 year old children.

Original poster

Endoftheroad12345 · 21/06/2024 23:52

beanii · 21/06/2024 13:07

I think you'll find more parents will presume it's fine to stay (as I would).

Do you have a plan for this OP?

I think you’ll find they won’t.

I will report back.

My plan is that they stand outside in the rain

OP posts:

Original poster

Endoftheroad12345 · 21/06/2024 23:51

Kateeeeuyyy · 21/06/2024 22:28

The thought of leaving my child with an adult I barely know in a house full of 6 years olds makes me feel faint.
it must be a cultural thing, cos here in the UK, you don’t just leave your child with random adults you don’t know, birthday party or not.

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well clearly that’s incorrect judging from the other posts on this and the other thread

If leaving your child in the home of a classmate with 10 other friends from school made you feel faint, then your child would have the option not to attend, but that’s a you problem - not a host of the party issue.

What I find interesting is all these people bleating (on the other thread) about how mean I am, my bad attitude meaning Jemima might miss out because of hypothetical additional needs etc. The flip side of the coin is that I am a single mother of 2 kids and having a party at home, with limited space capacity, is how I have determined that DD can have the party she wants. Clearly it is not abnormal because Jemima’s mother is the only one asking “for details of the plan please :)” and “OK. OK if I stay?” (which is rude and presumptuous and that is a hill I will die on).

If it was a free for all for every PFB parent to stay around and lurk I simply couldn’t host a party. So why should DD miss out?

OP posts:

FlabMonsterIsDietingAgain · 21/06/2024 22:48

MrsB74 · 21/06/2024 14:39

For what it’s worth, a lot of children were dropped at my girls’ 4th birthday party (they are teens now). By six I definitely dropped off unless asked to help. We are in the midlands, UK. Parents have got far too helicoptery over the last few years; don’t think it’s a coincidence that anxiety in children has gone through the roof!

I hope all goes well!

DD is 10 now but first party where some of the parents dropped and ran was her 5th, only 1 parent stayed at DDs 6th party and they only stayed because they had bought their entire brood of children along without asking so I said they could stay and use the space as long as DD and her friends weren't bothered but that I wouldn't be looking after them as I hadn't planned for toddlers or teenagers.

Kateeeeuyyy · 21/06/2024 22:28

Endoftheroad12345 · 18/06/2024 04:10

The thought of 20 parents I don’t know squishing into my house on Sunday with a forecast of torrential rain makes me feel faint 😂

The thought of leaving my child with an adult I barely know in a house full of 6 years olds makes me feel faint.
it must be a cultural thing, cos here in the UK, you don’t just leave your child with random adults you don’t know, birthday party or not.

Castle0 · 21/06/2024 20:39

VanGoSunflowers · 18/06/2024 07:01

Shamelessly place marking

If only there was a BIG PURPLE BUTTON on EVERY thread for exactly this......

MrsB74 · 21/06/2024 14:39

For what it’s worth, a lot of children were dropped at my girls’ 4th birthday party (they are teens now). By six I definitely dropped off unless asked to help. We are in the midlands, UK. Parents have got far too helicoptery over the last few years; don’t think it’s a coincidence that anxiety in children has gone through the roof!

I hope all goes well!

beanii · 21/06/2024 13:07

I think you'll find more parents will presume it's fine to stay (as I would).

Do you have a plan for this OP?

AGlinnerOfHope · 21/06/2024 11:12

Bless you, @Endoftheroad12345

I am reading your posts in the voice of an old kiwi friend I met in Singapore. Her laid back attitude really helped me, as I was a bit of a stress head.

Interestingly, culture varies from school to school. I had DC across different schools and they swapped schools more than once.

One school everyone, but everyone stayed including both parents, siblings and an occasional grandma.

At another, a bunch of 5yr olds were flung on my doorstep and I was alone with about 25 of them. I'd have killed for a handy parent to watch the kids and intervene if there was carnage while I organised.

It also really depends on the DC. I'm was a primary teacher. Some years are just so self contained and capable- they gel and cooperate. Others are like a room full of Trump and BoJos. Having a great time but at a high cost.

Deadpretty · 21/06/2024 10:09

Endoftheroad12345 · 21/06/2024 09:55

Holy shit it has been the week from hell. DS was sick Monday and Tuesday, and then DD developed an ear infection on Wednesday night - ibuprofen wouldn’t touch the sides and she was pretty much awake all night in my bed until she fell asleep just before 6am when my alarm went off 😵‍💫 I’m absolutely rinsed.

My parents helped out this week including my dear dad who has terminal cancer coming over today while I was at work and mowing my lawns for me 🥹 So I must retract the bit from the OG OP about my mum being as useful as a chocolate teapot.

The unicorn cake is ordered, the fairy is paid for, now tomorrow I have to go to the plastic tat shop and buy shit for party bags and decorate the house. I’ve had 2 further rsvps, both from mum’s i’ve only met once each (when I dumped DD at their respective houses for their children’s birthday parties).

Hope the party is a blast and your poor DD recovers in time to enjoy the festivities 🥳

Original poster

Endoftheroad12345 · 21/06/2024 09:55

Holy shit it has been the week from hell. DS was sick Monday and Tuesday, and then DD developed an ear infection on Wednesday night - ibuprofen wouldn’t touch the sides and she was pretty much awake all night in my bed until she fell asleep just before 6am when my alarm went off 😵‍💫 I’m absolutely rinsed.

My parents helped out this week including my dear dad who has terminal cancer coming over today while I was at work and mowing my lawns for me 🥹 So I must retract the bit from the OG OP about my mum being as useful as a chocolate teapot.

The unicorn cake is ordered, the fairy is paid for, now tomorrow I have to go to the plastic tat shop and buy shit for party bags and decorate the house. I’ve had 2 further rsvps, both from mum’s i’ve only met once each (when I dumped DD at their respective houses for their children’s birthday parties).

OP posts:

JellyTipisthebest · 21/06/2024 09:23

I think if you were in chch or maybe wellington it might be different.
I always found most parents stayed. Parents I know of young children now, how relaxed they are depends on where they were and how old they were when the quakes happened. Some people hardly leave thier teens anywhere.

DeathoftheEndless · 21/06/2024 08:54

After consuming both threads:
OP is hilarious, love reading your replies.

Poor Jemima's mum, her messages didn't seem rude or mean and I still don't understand why they annoyed you so much, completely innocuous! I'm bemused about how hers were so rude or annoying but yours back are totally fine - both were fine! And you got the outcome you wanted! So strange.
You seem like the kind of person who, if you wanted to know something, would just ask. That's all JM did, and yet it really annoyed you. Her not replying immediately really annoyed you. When she did reply, there was no annoyance at being told no, no pressure on you to relent, I don't know what else she could have done other than not have the temerity to bother you at all! This is such a weird mountain out of a molehill but I'm totally here for it 😂

Love that therapy has granted you such great boundary setting and resilience, maybe it could have given you a little bit more self awareness 😂
For someone so unbothered, you seem a little bit bothered.

Definitely some cultural differences - the last class party we had for 6 year olds at home, all parents stayed apart from one, and she is considered a bit odd! I like her a lot but she's definitely a bit different. I'm happy to leave DS but some children still find it difficult so would want them to be happy, I don't think it means they have additional needs that needed to be disclosed. A few more parents here would have been keen to know the plan/details.

OP I'm so in for the party update and hope it goes brilliantly!

marmarmalade · 20/06/2024 11:04

Cheers OP. Have a bottle of wine after Sunday.

marmarmalade · 20/06/2024 10:52

Endoftheroad12345 · 19/06/2024 12:00

😂😂😂 I said “for god’s sake will you focus” while using the word alibi instead of alias… who’s the clown now 🤣 @OrchardBlack

DD has another ear infection, the second in 3 weeks. Honestly NZ sucks in winter, don’t ever come. (In summer of course we are insufferable about how it’s the Greatest Country Ever). I’m lying on the couch with 2 cats draped on me like hot water bottles

I noticed the alibi/alias mistake but was being polite as the rest of it was too good.

marmarmalade · 20/06/2024 10:51

Oh . I loved the "focus" comment too. It's Jemima not Jessica . Focus". Sorrrry for those who didn't see it focus was in the posters user name. Maybe you had to be there.
Still preferred the pegging comment which seemed to sail over a lot of heads ( and how lucky is it that NZ has the internet now). 😆

marmarmalade · 20/06/2024 10:47

Horseebooks · 18/06/2024 11:02

At Least We’ve Got Crowded House

hard stare

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Oooo! Harsh. (Nice of you not to mention Russell Crowe though.) I suggest a water fight but it's a bit chilly at the moment so can we put it off until December? And "Yeah, nah " is Australian. You can't tell me any different!!!! ( to quote the random youtube dude). I do like the cut of your Kiwi lawyers jib though if OP is any example. 😘

lemondropsandchimneytops · 19/06/2024 15:06

I saw your first post when it was in its infancy and didn't really care too much about a 6 year old's birthday party on the other side of the world. But this is amazing! You're amazing! My hero 😂

Nurber · 19/06/2024 12:35

Daisy1457 · 19/06/2024 07:54

I will enjoy my day thanks, as for giving it too much time, I think it's fair to say it's up to me when I post, and not down to anyone else, thanks all the same 🙂

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It’s absolutely up to you. I just think you could
potentially enjoy your day more if you hid this thread, someone’s 6th birthday party on the other side of the globe seems to have got right under your skin.

Original poster

Endoftheroad12345 · 19/06/2024 12:00

😂😂😂 I said “for god’s sake will you focus” while using the word alibi instead of alias… who’s the clown now 🤣 @OrchardBlack

DD has another ear infection, the second in 3 weeks. Honestly NZ sucks in winter, don’t ever come. (In summer of course we are insufferable about how it’s the Greatest Country Ever). I’m lying on the couch with 2 cats draped on me like hot water bottles

OP posts:

OrchardBlack · 19/06/2024 11:42

Personal hughlights for me have got to be 'Calm down, it's not the royal wedding' and 'For gods sake will you FOCUS'

Lawyers gonna Lawyer.

I love you OP ❤

InterIgnis · 19/06/2024 11:18

Daisy1457 · 19/06/2024 07:54

I will enjoy my day thanks, as for giving it too much time, I think it's fair to say it's up to me when I post, and not down to anyone else, thanks all the same 🙂

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Mmhmm

Meetingofminds · 19/06/2024 09:45

Daisy1457 · 19/06/2024 07:54

I will enjoy my day thanks, as for giving it too much time, I think it's fair to say it's up to me when I post, and not down to anyone else, thanks all the same 🙂

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I don’t understand why you are making this about you. Persisting with it too. Op can do as she likes, it’s not your responsibility to worry about children you don’t even know!
Maybe you have had bad experiences of some kind and it colouring your view.

Daisy1457 · 19/06/2024 07:54

Nurber · 19/06/2024 07:22

I really feel you are giving way too much time and energy to this Daisy. Let it go and enjoy your day.

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I will enjoy my day thanks, as for giving it too much time, I think it's fair to say it's up to me when I post, and not down to anyone else, thanks all the same 🙂

Nurber · 19/06/2024 07:22

Daisy1457 · 19/06/2024 06:22

'Way meaner' ?
That's quite comical actually 😁

I've not been at all mean, I've stated facts. The OP has been rude, can't give a straight answer, over the top and, like many others on here, is nothing more than a piss taker. I'm all up for a laugh and joke, but not when there's pure nastiness involved, as there is on this thread in particular .
So many posters seem oblivious to the fact that I'm not saying that every parent should stay to help out (just one would be fine), and act as if I'm stupid to point out that it's not really ok to look after 15 kids alone. ( I'm saying 15 as that's what the original plan was ).

I'd bet that the piss takers on here would agree with me if they weren't sat behind a key board anonymously. It amazes me just how vile people can be when no one knows who they are. To spew such crap just shows the mentality of some people.

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I really feel you are giving way too much time and energy to this Daisy. Let it go and enjoy your day.