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Original poster

DD6’s party, Jemima’s mother and the clownfairy part 2

309 replies

Endoftheroad12345 · 18/06/2024 03:44

Hi all

After my last post here https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5097890-to-tell-a-mum-of-a-guest-that-she-cant-stay-at-dd6s-birthday-party?page=1

I thought some of you might be interested in an update.

The clown/fairy I had booked ghosted me when I tried to confirm!!!! so for a moment there I was panicking about having no entertainer and felt that the mumsnet curse of hoping that DD had a shitty party would come true!!!!! luckily though, I have found and booked a back up fairy. So that mitigates the clown phobia risk

9 guests have RSVPed if a total of 12 invites (I had guessed 15), 3 TBC. Of the 12, I know 6 mothers (most of them just to say hi to at school). 3 who have RSVPed I couldn’t pick out of a line up. So far no other parents have asked to stay. Or indeed asked for any other details (or an “plan”)about the party.

Forecast is for pissing rain on Sunday.

The last few pages of the thread took a weird turn while I was asleep and started talking about swimming parties and lifeguards. We do actually have a pool … (I know I sound like I’m trolling at this point.) There will not be a lifeguard on duty, but as it’s about 12 degrees here so I don’t think anyone will be getting in the unheated pool.

(Am WFH today because DS has a high fever and power-chucked in the hallway last night while I was making cupcakes at 10pm for the sodding school fundraiser. As DS coughed in my face while he spreadeagled across my bed, I did think wistfully of one poster on the last thread who thought I was probably a cashed up career woman who barely saw her kids.)

To tell a mum of a guest that she can’t stay at DD6’s birthday party | Mumsnet

I’m fully prepared to be told I’m BU but I’m not changing my mind just upfront 😂 (I know that can be annoying when responding to AIBU posts). DD6’...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5097890-to-tell-a-mum-of-a-guest-that-she-cant-stay-at-dd6s-birthday-party?page=1

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
mumgodloveher · 24/06/2024 13:49

@Endoftheroad12345 I've loved these 2 threads and glad you survived the party. I experienced the same with my family gushing over my abusive ex. It is incredibly hurtful when they KNOW what the bastard did (and continues to do ie horrifically controlling where the children are concerned). I eventually stopped speaking to them and they got the message and sort of drifted away from him. So sorry.

Meetingofminds · 24/06/2024 02:00

That is a special kind of hell hosting a kids party when you are ill! I hope you are feeling better op perhaps Jemima’s mother thought twice when she saw you burning up with covid symptoms 😂

So she is one of those, looking for a day out for all of her kids, nothing to do with settling in Jemima but free entertainment and snacks for the day.
i hate mothers like this! CFs!

Your mother’s affection is misguided and rude and yes being run over is way too good for him. Sorry you had to go through that, and you haven’t had the support and care you deserve.

BoredAuditor · 23/06/2024 23:26

Ah, it's making sense now asking about the "plan" and if she could stay. She was wanting to find out if suitable for the toddler too!

Original poster
Endoftheroad12345 · 23/06/2024 21:45

God @Meetingofminds I wish I was in Rome!!!! Thick fog here this morning and utterly miserable.

@OchonAgusOchonOh I wish I’d had a wine but as luck would have it I woke up the morning of the party with a hardcore head cold so have been hitting the cold & flu meds to survive.

@beanii You poor thing. I find my parents attitude to my cuntish exH bizarre. If someone had hit my daughter I’d want to run them down with my car... I certainly wouldn’t be greeting them with hugs and kisses and “Hello [exH’s name] darling!!!” WTF. I texted my mother afterwards to say if they are going to keep up this policy of treating him like a Prodigal Son they will be banned from events at my house. It’s bad enough that I have to see him but I don’t need to see their disloyalty and lack of boundaries play out in front of my face.

I definitely think Jemima’s mum was angling to stay - she came in with a toddler and was lurking as if being asked to stay but luckily she was so bloody early it was quite easy to give her shirt shrift.

OP posts:
VanGoSunflowers · 23/06/2024 21:36

Castle0 · 21/06/2024 20:39

If only there was a BIG PURPLE BUTTON on EVERY thread for exactly this......

Show quote history

🖕

Loueeza123 · 23/06/2024 21:28

Meetingofminds · 23/06/2024 21:17

I am in Rome - it’s 40c and I am frazzled, nothing at all to do with aperol spritz. I can’t find any update from op fo discover if SHE has survived the party. Less worried about the kids tbf.
Maybe it’s the time difference and she is MID FLOW! I have a distinctly BAD feeling about anything called a clown fairy. I have a unsavoury vision of Gary glitter in a mermaid outfit - can someone enlighten me!

Definitely the aperol spritz 😂 she posted an update on p 12. Party went well. Parents and ex turned up as the party was ending 🙄 fairy helpful. Jemima’s mum didn’t stay.

Enjoy Rome!

Meetingofminds · 23/06/2024 21:17

I am in Rome - it’s 40c and I am frazzled, nothing at all to do with aperol spritz. I can’t find any update from op fo discover if SHE has survived the party. Less worried about the kids tbf.
Maybe it’s the time difference and she is MID FLOW! I have a distinctly BAD feeling about anything called a clown fairy. I have a unsavoury vision of Gary glitter in a mermaid outfit - can someone enlighten me!

Loueeza123 · 23/06/2024 20:59

Just went down the rabbit hole of this post and the last one. So glad that you all survived the party (in spite of the lack of health and safety measures…). Sorry to hear that your parents and ex were so rubbish - it makes my blood boil tbh. Excellent job at brushing off their nonsense and getting on with all the stuff. Your kids are so lucky to have a mum who bends backwards to give them amazing parties/space in her bed when they’re sick etc AND is an awesome role model career woman.

FWIW - I also had no idea that in the UK parents would expect to stay at parties - also in Switzerland it’s always drop n run (often with cake and beer/Prosecco at pickup). You do your time once per year and then enjoy your quiet afternoon when the others have their parties. That’s THE DEAL!!!!

Scammersarescum · 23/06/2024 20:11

itstheendoftheworldasweknowitnow · 18/06/2024 05:50

I’m married to a kiwi. The cultural differences are vast!!! Personally I find kiwi women a fascinating mix of laid back yet chippy as fuck. You never know what’s going to grind their gears unexpectedly!
it’s all yeah nah until it ISN’T 🤣

Poor old Jemima’s mum got right up your goat, didn’t she?!

I need to move to New Zealand, laid back but as chippy as fuck describes me to a tee and I've been told I'm too direct.

I might fit right in for the first time in my life

beanii · 23/06/2024 19:44

Endoftheroad12345 · 23/06/2024 06:56

oh my parents did show up. At 2.05 just as it was finishing. Greeted my abusive exH (who showed up for the cake cutting just as the party was ending) like a long lost son.

Plonked themselves down and expected me to make them tea and serve them cake

I realised at one point that I hadn’t eaten and felt like I was going to conk out which would have really skewed the adult:child ratio!!!

Glad it went well and parents left 🤣

I divorced my narcissistic ex 3 years ago - my parents were around at his place the very next day comforting him 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm no longer in contact with any of them.

Family are strange.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 23/06/2024 09:51

Great it went well. Sorry you have such useless parents and ex. Particularly galling for your parents to greet him so enthusiasticly.

I assume you will be opening up the wine shortly if you haven't already? I always found there was never a nicer glass than after the clean up from a kid's party.

Original poster
Endoftheroad12345 · 23/06/2024 08:19

MuggleMe · 23/06/2024 07:23

I didn't read your last thread so this was a rollercoaster! Can't believe your parents didn't turn up to help but clearly knew the timings of the party to be there immediately after. Big well done for getting through it 🙌

See, I think some people took from the OP that I had some zealous obsession with doing it myself single handedly. I just don’t have any one I can rely on for help! Certainly glad I told JM she couldn’t come. Who shows up 15 minutes early ffs Think she was scoping for a spare seat

OP posts:
Lillieloola · 23/06/2024 07:37

HarrietPierce · 22/06/2024 07:00

"The thought of leaving my child with an adult I barely know in a house full of 6 years olds makes me feel faint.
it must be a cultural thing, cos here in the UK, you don’t just leave your child with random adults you don’t know, birthday party or not."

Certainly not cultural. You are hardly speaking for the whole of the UK. For a birthday party with classmates in the host's home, I don't know anybody who felt the need to stay with their 6 year old children.

It really is not a cultural thing amongst my circle. We never stayed at parties with our children. It is only in recent years that people have this expectation, Absolutely ridiculous ,unless child has SEN .

MuggleMe · 23/06/2024 07:23

I didn't read your last thread so this was a rollercoaster! Can't believe your parents didn't turn up to help but clearly knew the timings of the party to be there immediately after. Big well done for getting through it 🙌

AGlinnerOfHope · 23/06/2024 07:07

Oh that’s bad. That’s really bad.
Sorry they were so insensitive.

But hooray, you did it, all done for another year!

Original poster
Endoftheroad12345 · 23/06/2024 06:56

oh my parents did show up. At 2.05 just as it was finishing. Greeted my abusive exH (who showed up for the cake cutting just as the party was ending) like a long lost son.

Plonked themselves down and expected me to make them tea and serve them cake

I realised at one point that I hadn’t eaten and felt like I was going to conk out which would have really skewed the adult:child ratio!!!

OP posts:
Willmafrockfit · 23/06/2024 06:04

shame about your parents!
hope you recovered and all enjoyed it

marmarmalade · 23/06/2024 05:41

No fires set, no lifeguards needed, no bombs made, no broken legs. Well done you!! Oh and apologies for my previous cultural appropriation. I've just realized. NZ - Yeah, Nah
Aus - Yeah, No, ( add equivocation)
Explains all.

Original poster
Endoftheroad12345 · 23/06/2024 01:33

it’s absolute carnage 😂

thise of you who said another adult would be a good idea were correct but luckily the other mum and fairy ha e been good back up

My parents haven’t shown up 🤪

Ex H was here to drop kids but bounced as soon as guests arrived

OP posts:
Original poster
Endoftheroad12345 · 23/06/2024 01:32

we are mid party

the fairy is doing a magic show

the rain has held off

Party runs 11am - 2pm

Mother of Jemima showed up at 10.45 just as I was trying to throw some make up at my face. I was pretty distracted so when she said “I’ll get out of your hair then” I said yep ok see you at 2.

Jemima is fine, not clingy at all

Wr have 14 guests

Every other parent dropped and ran except the mum of the only child who was not a school friend so didn’t know as many of the other girls. Mother (who I know well) was itching to leave but child clingy so she stayed about 45 min until the fairy arrived and she could slip away

OP posts:
Itisjustmyopinion · 23/06/2024 01:03

Kateeeeuyyy · 21/06/2024 22:28

The thought of leaving my child with an adult I barely know in a house full of 6 years olds makes me feel faint.
it must be a cultural thing, cos here in the UK, you don’t just leave your child with random adults you don’t know, birthday party or not.

Show quote history

Not my experience at all both as a child myself or now.

I remember going to lots of parties, don’t remember my mum or dad being at any of them unless it was a cousin or family friend’s party

NotFunnyTilly · 22/06/2024 20:11

Kateeeeuyyy · 21/06/2024 22:28

The thought of leaving my child with an adult I barely know in a house full of 6 years olds makes me feel faint.
it must be a cultural thing, cos here in the UK, you don’t just leave your child with random adults you don’t know, birthday party or not.

Show quote history

We did. Lots of parties in London. Lots of playdates. Everyone is different.

gettingolderbutcooler · 22/06/2024 19:17

Good luck!
settles down with popcorn

Original poster
Endoftheroad12345 · 22/06/2024 11:30

I have made 15 party bags and now on cupcakes. It is 10.30pm here … it’s going to be a late one 😂

It is pissing with rain here and forecast for torrential all day tomorrow.

I caught up with half a dozen friends today, all with kids aged between 1 and 12 and the was a collective gasp of horror at the idea of a parent of a 6 y.o staying at a party.

So either I’m normal or my friends are all unwelcoming bitches too 😂 It’s not mutually exclusive I suppose

OP posts:
beanii · 22/06/2024 09:15

Endoftheroad12345 · 21/06/2024 23:52

I think you’ll find they won’t.

I will report back.

My plan is that they stand outside in the rain

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Haha! Brilliant - please do just that 😁🤣

I'm extremely invested in your post now so yes, please let us know how it goes.

I genuinely hope it all goes smoothly for you and your daughter has a fantastic part 🎈🎁🎂