To think most women on here hate men

Yes of course that is a greater risk, I’m happy to say that because of you taking the time to listen, try and see what I’m saying and responding rather than just yelling (typing) that I’m wrong, happy to say that you have opened my eyes and I’m going to say you are right, about all of it. I can see how my post while well intentioned at the time wasn’t done in the best way, however some good has come of this post, in just 2 days you have shown me a new way to see some of the things I see on here, without my thread and you commenting I may have taken longer to see things, so thankyou wise woman

Let me just say, you have not been helpful at all, I don’t think you bother to try and see another point of view, I’ve had about 2 people who didn’t agree with me that actually bothered to listen and see past me maybe explaining things badly (you know being human and all) they didn’t need to agree with me, they put their point across in a more constructive manner and managed to actually have a conversation with me and not an argument, they were helpful and wise and we ended up having a back and forward conversation rather than what you are doing, you are still antagonising, argumentative and clearly you just need a win here, so I’ll give you a pat on the back and say well done, you are the best, because clearly you cannot leave this and have to have another dig

I love that there is a little lightheartedness in amongst all of this 🫶

Some major food for thought in this, Thankyou. This is exactly the right kind of discussion about all of this, as I say actually a man who is left wrongly would be better off, so long as he wasn’t accused wrongly in real life, police reports etc.

and yes your last sentence is so right.

I still feel bad for anybody who’s been misrepresented in a thread, either on purpose, or because the thread was created at a time of hurt and upset and the man or woman was made to look abusive, especially if there are children involved, children deserve the best possible life, whether that is with 2 parents who love each other and work at the relationship, or with parents who are better off apart

I honestly mean this when I say I’ve honestly met so many different kinds of people and yes some really are naive, honestly I wish some women (all) had the superpower that would be to stop abuse, I’ve said I don’t think anyone maliciously tries to advise in a way that may not be the best advice. I mean I’ve seen some naive women posting threads where they have been called out massively for repeatedly posting about a partner or even more than one partner (I could be wrong about any posts actually being about more than one bloke) and not taking advice, or taking advice to leave them getting back with him and then posting a new thread about his behaviour. Don’t get me wrong, many women are sucked back into shit with their partners, or even end up in a cycle of more than one bad partner, it’s what happens, and that’s not on the woman for how she’s treated at all, so I will admit I’ve realised before I’ve finished my reply that actually saying she’s naive is wrong of me, not sure what word to use atm tbh

If this is what you have taken from my posts, this is not intention at all, I suppose it’s a bit devils advocate like behaviour in me to sometimes see a situation as ambiguous rather than black and white, anyone who may be being controlled in any way, or abused has not done anything to warrant that being done to them, always each persons behaviour is on them, and anyone who abuses is anyway is accountable for their actions, I had to explain this to my kids teacher yesterday when a child said to her he wanted to throw a rock at her head and make her brain damaged, teacher said once cctv was checked to see if other child was near her he would ask other kids if anything had been seen, to check if my daughter provoked the other child 🤦‍♀️ I had to say to the teacher, there is nothing that warrants saying that to my daughter, had to say this 3 or 4 times

Again you want an argument

Ahh yes I’ve found that function. Thankyou.

I can see how it looks, honestly when I posted the thread I had been reading so many threads over days where I actually was feeling so greatful my relationship is good, seeing a few where I was seeing that maybe it wasn’t cut and dried abuse, seeing how badly women talk about each other and to each other sometimes. And then also seeing what I perceive as sexism towards the whole male demographic instead of only saying bad things about bad people. My aim, if you will was the hope that if a discussion could possibly make people reflect on the way they talk about and to each other, because to me it’s no better for a woman to say nasty things about men because they say worse about women, and I’ve seen in real life people be swayed by other people’s opinions on their partner and leave, I was thinking how awful if majority or even a large portion of advice on a thread lead to a woman leaving a partner because she had been convinced he’s abusive, and it turns out he wasn’t, of course if a man is abusive and his partner leaves him because of advice then it’s the right outcome. I’ve just seen some very naive women in real life who act on other people’s advice when they really needed more balanced advice, etc. now maybe the thought process I should have tbh is actually if a non abusive man is left by a woman who listened to wrong advice, then maybe he had a lucky escape from the wrong partner.

when I say sexist I don’t mean recognising patterns of abuse, it’s if the advice is saying it’s a pattern of abuse, and it is maybe the person advising that’s having a sort of emotional flinch (this is obviously not a real term and I can’t think how else to say it atm, emotional maybe the wrong word entirely, but I mean what I explained earlier about if someone thinks the worst in a situation because of experiences, it being like a flinch)
this wouldn’t be something malicious, or on purpose to get it wrong in most if not all cases, but it can be harmful, and I just wanted to maybe incite a little reflection into if advice can be harmful, kind of like if someone asks for medical advice on here and then someone recounts a bad medical time for themselves when that thing turned out to be (insert scary bad health situation here) and the op works themselves into panic and full blown anxiety, when really they needed a doctor. And obviously I know this isn’t quite the same

excuse my long winded way of saying things, please ask me to elaborate if anything is unclear

I’m just about to take all my girls to boxing club, when I get there I’ll re read your comment and reply, don’t want you to think I’ve slunk away and am ignoring your reply

So you read a part where I admit to be mistaken and your one word blanket response is “wrong”

again would you admit to being mistaken? Or wrong about anything? Or are you perfect?
you are very condescending, you will probably not admit to that though

Being fairly new to Mumsnet it’s handy to know about that function.
as for the shit I’ve been through, it was bad, even horrific at times, but it happened, it’s done, the past, every good and bad experience in my life has led me to where I am today, if it wasn’t for the ex wicked stepmother I wouldn’t have met my fiancé. For these reasons I wouldn’t call what I’ve experienced in my life trauma, but for the record some other people’s experiences I would call trauma, we all go through different (even when it’s not different) we all deal with/heal from/ move on from (where possible as not everyone is able to, for all different reasons) in different ways, I would say I’ve healed from my past, I do not consider myself a victim at all.

as for your last statement, maybe the title of the thread is off, it’s my first thread on here, maybe I should have said dislike rather than hate, it’s the vibe I had at the time I wrote the title. I can’t say I’ve had my mind changed on how sexist towards men women can be, and if it’s always justified or even able to be justified that sexism is ok in any form.