To think most women on here hate men

I’ve not had a traumatic enough experience with a man/men to become what I see as men hating

How worrying that you see women's trauma, or even women taking steps for their protection against trauma, as women hating men. Perhaps you'll reconsider this concerning, sexist and ignorant position now that you know better, Tanya.

for anyone who thinks this is a joke

I don't think anyone at any point thought it was a joke but it's so wilfully ignorant that laughing at it might be the only suitable response, because you clearly haven't learned anything. Even your acknowledgement of abuse is just lip service to get to the imaginary man hating. There's still that "I just believe there are decent men out there" crap, to imply that others have been saying that all men are evil.

Hmm, in the couples I know where one works long hours and the other only does a couple of days despite the kids being at school or grown, it's always the man working the long hours.

I'm not seeing the privilege in working full time for an extra three decades while the wife stops FT work at 30. Possibly why 4x more men commit suicide. 🤔

I'm pretty fed up with a lot of men. Not my DH but thanks to this place I have learned to be very clear with him about what i expect as a life partner. I don't think it's any secret that Mumsnet is populated with fairly switched on women and it's a place where they can talk openly and anonymously about what it's like to be a women in a patriarchal world, which ours is. I don't hate men, a lot of them I really like, but i'm not going to get on here and talk about them because I don't need to. If I want to talk about a dickhead, though, I will come here and find plenty of women who get it. And I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of men on here who also get it. the patriarchy fucks everyone.

No. Plenty have indeed had traumatic experiences because they're extremely common.

However, even someone living in a bubble can read what women are actually saying, acknowledge their lived experiences and not expect other woman to try to silence, tone police and accused them of behaviour they are simply not exhibiting.

Women are human and they're entitled to talk about their extremely common, frightening and distressing experiences at the hands of men in any way they choose.

And still, they're not exhibiting misandry, just appropriate emotions because they feel safe to do so.

And again, you're exaggerating to make your point.
The majority of responses are supportive to the partner and the relationship.
There are a few posters talking about how insensitive and tone deaf he was, which is true, and a few picking up on the fact that the OP herself said she always feels like she's apologising to him even when he's in the wrong. I didn't see the word abuse thrown around at all - I may have missed one and if so I apologise, but it certainly isn't a dominant theme in that thread.

You are seeing what you want to see, but it isn't there.

Thanks for the apology @Tanyahawkes I appreciate it.

Anyway, sometimes you can learn by admitting you're wrong. Sometimes you double down. Either way, hopefully you'll examine your own biases as they're pretty clear, if not now then at some point.

I’ve read every comment on the thread you linked and there is NOT ONE poster who:

“tried to convince the woman her partner was abusing her”

NOT ONE.

Most posters stated the man’s gift was thoughtless, tone deaf, insulting or insensitive. One poster questioned why the OP always felt the need to back down and apologise— in response to this, ONE person added a red flag emoji. Just TWO comments were deleted by the same poster.

Several people believed OP’s partner tried to do right thing and encouraged OP to be kinder and communicate with her partner during this difficult time (cancer diagnosis and treatment).

However, your claim that “so many people tried to convince the woman her partner was abusing her“ is an outright lie and fully discredits the point you believe yourself to be making.

There is not ONE PERSON on that thread who states OP is being abused. In fact, the word “abuse” doesn’t even appear on that thread.

Funnily enough, no one tells the OP she should LTB either.

Third time lucky with your next link?

Yeah there are a few posters pointing out that he messed up by ignoring what she wanted and buying something that upset her

There is one poster who said it was a red flag

There were quite a few posters who told the OP she was the one in the wrong

If you only focus on the few that prove your point you are going to prove it, but you are missing the bigger picture with that thread where most posters actually are saying the opposite

The issue is that you are still calling the vast majority of women on MN "man hating" but now it's because we are all traumatised

No, it's that we recognise patterns of male behaviour and comment accordingly. It's rare every poster agrees, and it might not be right 100% of the time, but the use of "man hating" is usually flung at the posters because the person slinging the insult is uncomfortable with the behaviours being pointed out as abusive.

But it remains as always the 12th rule of mysoginy

12. Women’s ability to recognize male behavior patterns is misandry.

The whole "you must be traumatised to be responding like this" sounds incredibly close to "you are just hormonal" etc

Many posters have actually articulated that they have great partners/husbands. I do myself. I don't need to have been traumatised by men to recognise patterns of behaviour that can point to abuse. It doesn't make me a man hater to point those out.

So there are some posts deleted so I may have missed it, but I can't actually see where posters have told the OP to LTB?

I can see a lot of posters telling the OP she was in the wrong though along with some posters understanding why the OP was upset and how the boyfriend had been a bit thoughtless. There are a couple of posts around red flags but other than that the general consensus seems to be that the OP was in the wrong and the boyfriend was trying his best.

Not sure that's a particularly good example of how all mnetters hate men tbh. Also can't see where the partner was called a narcissist as per your OP.

But as I say there are a couple of deleted posts, perhaps they changed the tone of the thread?

So why is your thread title saying "most women here hate men"?

Aaaaand the inevitable cries of "misandry". Misogyny is violent, deadly and systemic. It's built in to religions and legal codes. It's false equivalence to talk as if women's fear and dislike of men is comparable.

I don't hate men, but my eyes are wide open. I know they are very, very different from women and that many/most/all (take your pick) regard us as less than people.
Far too many of them secretly hate us (cf Greer). Patriarchy exists for a reason, it's not because they wish us well.
So, I am wary of these people, even the “good” ones.
Often the good ones can only keep the facade up for a limited amount of time/ until the woman wants something they don't/pregnancy or children/head gets turned/grass is greener.
I regard them as so different from me as to be practically a different species.

OP, I suggest you go read a male (🙂) dominated forum. See how the majority on those talk about women. Mumsnet is sugary sweet compared to their shit.

Same.

"Won't someone think of the poor men!!!" vibes in here.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Men often hate women. Violently and fatally. Compared to that I don't care how women talk about them.

I don't hate men....I have no feelings about them at all really.
But then again I'm ace so I don't exactly have a horse in this race!😆

The men in my life are lovely.