To think most women on here hate men

@Tanyahawkes from my perspective I do not see any value in us calling each other names but respectful debate needs to go further than that as well.

These conversations need to move beyond the personal and we actually need to be able to have a wider discussion. I personally do get very frustrated in conversations like this where posters focus all their arguments on their own personal situations without actually looking beyond themselves.

This is not about how poster X feels about their lovely husband, it is about the fact that we live in a societal structure that does not work for the vast majority of citizens, with women bearing the brunt.

You must see the difference between a stranger calling you stupid on a forum on the basis of something you have said that they believe to be unintelligent (which is rude, but simply a case of judgement based on what you've revealed of yourself in your post); and your life partner who knows and is supposed to respect you, doing the same?

@Tanyahawkes you are missing out a lot of nuance.

If someone calls me an idiot in one conversation that is not abusive.

If that same person continuously and systematically keeps calling me stupid then that is abuse. I am yet to come across a thread on MN where a poster creates a post because their male partner has called them ONE name ONCE. You dig a little deeper and it always turns out that there was a pattern of behaviour and then a specific instance has been the straw to break the camel's back.

So yes, out of context there are threads where a poster may say their partner has just called them stupid and they've had enough. And then in subsequent posts it becomes clear that while the name calling is new, the behaviour is not, and it is just a new aspect of the abuse. That is what the posters on this thread are saying and what you do not seem to be understanding.

In the previous example of the poster's husband going off on her when she is pregnant, she clearly says that he has always had anger issues and been moody. So while that may have been the first ever instance where he threatened to divorce her and started yelling at her, it is certainly not the first instance of her having to be aware of, and potentially placate, the anger and moodiness of this man. Perhaps it is the first time that it has been directed at her and it has opened her eyes to how dangerous and abusive that pattern of behaviour actually is? But yes, on the surface of it, you could make the argument that that woman had one argument with her husband and posters are telling her to LTB. Your argument would be wrong.

Then I am confused as to why you are asking me to explain other peoples thinking.

I do feel like some people on here actually don’t want to see another persons point of view

Given when other people have alternative points of view about the threads you posted you referred to that as "being flamed" you might want to look to your own behaviour a little.

If a man was to say to a woman half the things that have been said to me by women on this thread, he’s an abuser, gaslighting maybe, yet I’m meant to roll over and take it from women online. Why is this?

Where have I said this?

Can you please explain them why you called a poster "practically abusive" just for implying you were stupid then?

You seem to have a very low bar for posters, mostly women on here, and where you accuse them of being abusive, and when you deem it reasonable for posters to think a man might be abusive.

People having a different opinion to you are not necessarily flaming you. You have quite a victim mentality which is interesting to see over the course of the thread.

It is super grody isn't it? 😂 leave him !

I’d be done with a man who behaved like that. Truly awful.

My DH upset me once when I was pregnant / silly argument over directions when driving. I was upset - he was falling over himself to apologise. I would have accepted nothing less. In the thread you’ve linked, he compounded his initial carrying on by doubling down on the blame. What is wrong with telling someone that that marriage is not good? It isn’t.

Thanks for that @taleasoldashoney
I hope all those setting up false comparisons between on line misogyny and the so called 'misandry' on MN take note and feel suitably embarrassed by their own ignorance and hyperbole. And perhaps even be inspired to direct their policing of online sexism to the place where its most urgently needed.

This is men talking about infertile women online

Now I'm pretty sure as an infertile women I haven't said anything like this about men on here

If there are men out there who genuinely believe that they are at risk from women - of abuse, sexual harassment, murder, are perhaps scared to walk the streets because of female violence against men, or suffering trauma from violence from women in the home, perhaps over multiple separate relationships, then if they are able to find other men online who have experienced similar for mutual support, then good for them. Similarly if men want to chat together about every day annoyances with their female partners, that's their business. You certainly wouldn't find me imposing myself into their conversations bleating that not all women were like that, that I was a nice woman and they were upsetting me. I'd simply avoid a conversation that wasn't aimed at me.
Thing is though, the forums where men do 'criticise' women dont tend to be my missus never empties the bin type chats with advice to leave her. They are typically a great deal more sinister and threatening than that.

Have you seen the way men talk about women on male forums?

It's vile.

I don't hate men. I'm just generally disappointed in most of them. My ex-husband wasn't a good one, and every male I've met since has let me down one way or another.

I give everyone a fair chance, and have some wonderful male friends, but potential life partners always leave me feeling, meh!

Have I said I hate or fear men?

And my personal relationship with men is neither here nor there. The points that I make relate to wider society as a whole because I have the ability to move beyond incessant navel gazing and understand that my personal experiences are not necessarily representative of a global system.

@PamPamPamPam Guessing you're not married to a man/in a relationship with one? Genuine question...do you really hate all men? Are you fearful of all men?

For those who agree that the criticizing if men as a whole on MN is fully justified, how do you feel about men's threads on other forums criticizing women as a whole?

Or is it a case of it's ok for women to do because they are justified in doing so but men are definitely not and when they do, it's misogyny?

Thank you Einstein

You can apply the same rule of thumb to men.

No, I'm not Einstein, fact
😀

I'm very surprised at this. I work in a women dominated sector in an organisation led by women and its extremely supportive and collaborative.
I'm not going to make sweeping generalisations based on my personal experience as that would be about as compelling as making vague unsubstantiated reference to 'research', a thread on MN or what 'I believe'. However in the interests of balance, I will say that I've personally noted that work teaming that involves men often 'works' because a hierarchy is established with one man assuming a leadership 'alpha' role over less assertive men, after much time wasting and jockeying for position.
When the team is mixed sex i have noticed the men typically assume seniority over the women. This may end up being functional after a fashion, but is actually the opposite of collaboration and results in the quieter more reflective voices going unheard.
Having managed staff of both sexes for over 25 years, I should also add, I have dealt with one case of woman on woman bullying, three cases of man on woman sexual harassment, and a man on man physical assault.