My son called me a cunt

No wonder there are so many shit abusive husbands when their mothers allowed them to tell them to fuck off or call them cunts when they were kids.

Jesus wept.. this thread is depressing

And it’s always teen sons isn’t it; or the majority of the time. Tbh I think they’re under disciplined because their parents are scared of them in a way they’re not with daughters. They make out it’s all fine and needs laughing off and a soft approach because they’re too nervous to deal with it head on.

There is a bit more information on the OP's other thread

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5068505-sad

Do you not hear yourself!? It’s fine to be abusive as long as he apologises the day after.

I am sorry, but everything in this sounds so wrong. I’m speechless. You stop making him snacks, and it’s fine that he calls you names because he is stressed. Good luck to his future partner.

Sorry - it would be unacceptable to me.🤷‍♀️

What 'things' are you talking about?

What are the consequences for his behaviour?

Will his future girlfriend cope with being called a cunt because he’s stressed at work?

@Welovecrumpets If he calls me a name the night before his German GCSE when he's stressed and then apologises the next day - I think I can cope.

I'd keep talking to him, he's only 14, let him know you're on his side, and try and keep communicating... Hard to be a 14 year old boy especially maybe with issues ... Language is awful but maybe it's like a I'll be so horrible you'll give up on me too scenario , so id keep trying to talk with him.
..

He’s not if he tells you to fuck off.

@Welovecrumpets And yet I have a good humoured, normally polite, kind and philosophical son.

You do you. I'll do me 🙂

You are not very good with maths, are you.

Well it's hardly ideal but he's a teen who obviously has huge problems. Not much we can say without the backstory - but I have no idea why people think the answer to this is a good slap or humiliating him by yelling at him in front other people from school. No wonder so many kids grow up with emotional problems or think violence is acceptable.

He needs help, but 14 is a very difficult age IMO. I would forget the words - they're just words. Punishing him is unlikely to help unless you have clear, consistent boundaries and consequences in place and it doesn't sound like that is the case. 14 is about the worst age you could start trying to implement those IMO. it's too late and you need to be moving on to other things by then - talking to him like an adult, trying to get some empathy and understanding into him and giving him more responsibilities (not as a punishment but because he is growing up).

Yes it’s very likely her son was born when she was 64

If I had told my parents to fuck off I wouldn’t have got treats whether it was GCSE season or not

Parents are ridiculously soft on here and I’m amazed they can’t see a link between this and the worst generation of teens we have ever had

Is 78 your age OP as this is a very old person thread

What did the OP do to warrant that kind of reaction, though?

A rough few years because of this? My 17 year old and 15 year old have never used that word so I would be upset if one of them called me a cunt.
But it's impossible to advise with no context

https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/behaviour/teen-violence-at-home

This organisation has brilliant support. I k ow you haven't mentioned physical violence but this acting out behaviour is similar.

I have a simple rule for this.

DS knows if he calls me names, tells me to f off etc, I don't make puddings or cakes, and if he runs out of snacks - tough.

It works very well. If he treats me with contempt, he eats a healthier but less indulgent diet. He's not daft and so does it very seldom. 😀

I do make an exception for GCSE season though. I'm not that mean.

Totally agree with this. He needs support to process the impact of what he's experienced/seen. Can you access some support for yourself to navigate this?

What is the point of starting a thread with no information and then not coming back to clarify anything 🙄

for some kids, this could be absolutely the best way to handle it. For others, say an adopted son with attachment disorders due to early life trauma, it could be absolutely catastrophic.

It all depends on the context of the individual. There is no one size fits all.

Clickbait thread.