Ex friend text to tell me what a horrible person I am

I don't think you should complain that she didn't get in touch sooner. You just didn't reply when she told you she'd had an accident. You were unwell yourself but she couldn't know that. It sounds as if the friendship has run its course, neither of you have been great communicators.

Thank you! I knew I had read this before so was about to do an AS too, and as I really should be asleep, you’ve saved me the time! So thank you!

Yes this is the one I was thinking about! Your advanced search skills are much better than mine.

I think there is value in speaking up for yourself briefly and stating the facts as you see them. Then block.

It means should your paths possibly cross in the future at any time you have held your own ground and she can be as delusional as she wants, or not. I wouldn't leave her with the imagined upper hand, or with the feeling she had a right to berate you.

I recommend deafening silence. No response and block. She's a nasty drama queen who will only thrive on attention, no matter how negative it is. So cut off the oxygen supply. Job done.

This person doesn’t sound like much of a friend. I would text back a really short, mocking, “Righteo” and block their number after that.

You are better off without them.

Please don’t respond to her. I would just block her and move on. She sounds very self unaware. Had she cared about you and your needs at all, she would have known you were going through a very hard time.

This.

It must have been horrible to receive that message, but she is entitled, lacking in self-awareness, and brews up the sort of resentment where - rather than follow up at the time, tell you how she's feeling, or try to arrange another meetup herself - she places all the blame on you, kind of like a narcissist. A one-way street type of friendship where you are expected to service all her needs and have no self of your own to think of. I think she needs therapy.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4881246-to-have-told-my-friend-exactly-what-i-think-of-her

Yes I'm glad it's not just me! I am about to do an advanced search. It's uncanny.

Either tell her what you told us or delete & block.

She sounds very precious. Don’t respond.

I think you don't need any more negativity in your life. You said you are doing really well now and I think it's really important for you to keep going on the positive trajectory you are on.

Send her this and then block.

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Not all friendships were meant to last and it sounds like you two had drifted apart long before the wrist "incident".

It's ridiculous that she's dredging this up after you two haven't had any contact for a year. I can't see any point in replying to her since it doesn't sound like either one of you is interested in reviving this relationship.

I'd just block her and forget the whole thing. She hasn't been in your life for a year; just let it go. She sounds like a drama queen.

Well you could try and explain that to her. Or you could leave it. It's up to you. You don't have to feel bad about it. But at this stage if there is going to be any contact, it might also well be honest.

But if she's only contacting you now about it, I'd be willing to bet she has something else going on that is bothering her. As you say, why now? The danger of that of course is that you resolve things only for her to go back to using you as someone to offload on.

I’d reply, I’m really sorry to hear that. I’d been having a really tough time but you wouldn’t know because you’ve never asked how I am once, which was why I decided the friendship was one sided and didn’t have the energy to reply. I don’t think it’s fair to be upset when you’ve shown little interest in how I am since we worked together. I guess we’ve just drifted, which is a shame.

I swear we had this story from the other person's point of view last year!

I think you both had things going on at the same time, and you both wanted and needed the other person to step up. But neither of you communicated that, so perhaps your friendship wasn't as strong as either of you thought, which hurts.

If you were ever really friends rather than "work friends", I think you should apologise and also explain.

Ball is then in her court to decide if she agrees you both weren't there for each other for good reasons and that it's worth you both putting in the effort to rekindle a friendship. Sometimes a blow-up in a friendship isn't a bad thing if it helps you clear the air.

I had a horrible fight with my bestie many decades ago. Emphasis on the decades. If we hadn't both admitted how hurt we were and why, we wouldn't be this close this many years on. I don't regret that fight at all as it brought us closer together in the end.

If a friend of mine hadn't checked on me after I'd had an accident, I would feel hurt. I would stew. But if that friend told me she had been fighting depression at the time and hadn't had the mental headspace to reach out, I would completely understand and my hurt and anger would shift into compassion in a heartbeat.

Even those of us who sulk do forgive. If we know why we should forgive.

Sounds like OP showed her the consideration she deserved.

It’s not an excuse but it’s a perfectly valid reason.

She was not a good friend and you instinctively you knew that and ignored her.

If you want to text her back you could say ‘Maybe if you ever bothered to ask me how I was you would know that I was going through a bad time.’

But otherwise I would just consider it good riddance to bad rubbish and block and delete her.

He friend fell down the stairs and she didn't reply to her text.

That bit?