Ex friend text to tell me what a horrible person I am

Have you just been on a spa weekend Op? Was that your friend who started a thread last year?

But if you read her original post, she got another text today, which prompted her to create this thread.

Agree, in a text, that she is right that you were self absorbed at the time of the wrist incident and tell her why and that she is also right in that your friendship has run it's course. Wish her well; wish her wrist a full recovery and herself a nice life with many new friends.
That way, you can sleep and if you meet in the street or end up working together again you can start afresh ... or not.

Ignore and block

She didn’t text back to check on you, to see why you didn’t respond. She’s the cow. It was all about her. Ignore her.

Is it the same woman?! It was last year though.

What are the chances of this happening? Threads/posts aligning.

There was one ex friend/acquaintance story though which I posted about here and in one way hoped the person it was about would see it here. If they did then I’m more than pleased!

Your friend texted to cancel because she'd fallen down the stairs and you didn't reply, thats horrible.

She sounds like hard work too though so I'd probably just leave it, shesvright the friendships over.

I also realised during lockdown that some of my friendships only existed because I was fuelling them. I stopped and focused on people who made effort.

Yes it would have been polite to message back and say hope she's feeling better etc but equally she could have messaged you again and checked you were okay. This was not typical behaviour for you and she didn't bother to see if you were ok. She didn't realise you were struggling with your mh and you didn't realise her wrist injury was significant.

Have you responded?

Options are you can block her and move on. You don't bring anything to each others lives so you don't have to get into this.

Or you can message and apologise for not messaging, explain that you were struggling with your mental health and you retreated to protect yourself and that you felt she hadn't made effort in the friendship for a long time. I'd say sorry to hear she is still struggling and that you hope she feels better soon.

I wouldn't advise trying to revive the friendship as there's a lot of water under the bridge now.

But no you aren't the bad guy here. If your friend had made more effort in the relationship you wouldn't have had the response you had and that response came from a place of suffering. Equally you didn't know she was still struggling because she never got in touch to let you know.

She said she doesn’t want a response. Ignore her. She’ll feel worse than you as she’s the one who’s left a nasty message in the air. Silence is powerful. Good riddance.

There are certain people I’ve met in my life, especially those through work who sometimes I chose to remain friends and sometimes I don’t.

I’ve suffered a few times with depression like you, and I don’t see why you should have to explain yourself until or when you feel comfortable about it.

I don’t necessarily feel she was unreasonable in her mind because she felt ignored by you and she has no idea of your depression. But her reaction to you is OTT and unnecessarily cruel, she didn’t have to say that.

I had a “friend” from work after she’d spent ages ringing me about her post natal depression then criticise me personally for something I’d done. Almost like a dig. I was angry with her and realised I didn’t want someone who “took” but didn’t give much back in return in my life.

I pick people to be friends who I like and enjoy spending time with and who make me feel good, supported, cared about. Not ones who bring me down.

I’d leave her to it and let the friendship die its death. You’ve done nothing wrong though.

😂

Well, she didn’t check on you either, did she? For a year. I don’t think you have much to apologise for.

wow - that's a good spot! I can't believe the pasting the woman with the broken wrist is getting on the other thread

Don't send that!

It’s entirely possible that this happened to 2 separate friends rather than being the reverse of the linked thread. I know it sounds very similar.

She got the message a year ago when they were both meant to meet. And OP never responded to her.

Sounds like both of you didn’t care that much about each other. Just let it go and move on, this is not a healthy friendship

Delete, block, remove all traces and put it out of your mind.

I like this. Maybe @feelo should have asked but it’s not the crime of the century and the friend is obviously self absorbed.

Didn’t the OP only get the text from the broken wrist lady today?

You have a chance to explain now OP.
And I think you should tell her exactly as you explained in your last post.
It will give you both closure.

Well done for climbing out of your depression. The way to not let this issue worry you any longer is to tell your side of the story with honesty and respect, not only for her but for yourself too. You deserve that.
You definitely aren’t a bad person so kindly put her straight. She isn’t the only one that bad things happen to in life.

I’m fascinated by the two threads!

Well of course the friendship was already dead in the water. She never made the effort and you didn't bother enquiring about her injury.

Gosh you people have a good memory. I even posted on that thread.

What's the likelihood that both people independently chose MN to vent their spleen about each other?

or could it be the same person, reading the first thread and testing it out with a reverse?

over to you OP.....