Ex friend text to tell me what a horrible person I am

I doubt the OP knew her ex-friend had a terrible injury that would still be troubling her a year later. Probably thought it was just a sprain and a bit of excuse not turn up..

Attention-seeking pest. I’d just ignore the text. Move on

I'd text her the phone works both ways and not once did she bother to text to see if you're alright.

The 'friend' was thoughtless and self-obsessed. And clearly spiteful

Don't see why it's all the OP's fault

It depends how you want it to go really. Id be tempted by an 'ok, wow 'reply tbh and forgetting about her, but on the other hand, I'm not too proud to say sorry to someone and try and explain a little.
If I still cared, I might say 'Sue, I know you aren't expecting a reply, but I can only apologise that it appears that I ghosted you without explanation. I've actually been having quite a few struggles myself to deal with and keeping up with friends has slipped a lot in the last year. I never meant to upset you though, and I'm sorry to hear your wrist is still painful. Take care

Luckily someone has found @feelo 's past post.

Not ''depressed'' at all........

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4881246-to-have-told-my-friend-exactly-what-i-think-of-her

My goodness.

I will report too. A reverse...or a bridge dweller fantasist?

🍪

She sounds like a lot of effort. If a friend of mine hadn't replied or made any contact for a long time, I'd either let it drift or if they were a close friend, I'd think that something was up and check-in on them.

Care and communication goes both ways!

Absolutely true.
I too had a really horrible argument with my closest friend years ago that caused a load of trouble - she'd phoned my parents to say how selfish they were being!- I couldn't believe she had done that.

It caused so much trouble at the time- BUT we spoke about it -{no social media then} and have remained friends for decades.

She admitted overstepping , but she'd only done so as she was sick of me crying down the phone about not being invited to parents for Christmas {they were going overseas for Christmas with my half brothers}

If it's a true friendship it will weather storms - as long as both parties are honest and say how they feel.

So that OP was a one and done… and this OP is a one and done… Reported.

Sorry for people who genuinely spent time replying.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs here, sending you a long ranting message haranguing you is just really unpleasant. Don’t give her any more headspace. Focus on your other friends.

Why? The friendship is over and it’s honest. I’ve got a friend who ghosted me but I was ghosting her (after she came to my house, talked about herself and never once asked how I was - it was bizarre but the final straw). I’m kind of curious why she ghosted me but I probably wasn’t excited enough by her achievements. If she messaged me like this, I’d tell her exactly why. It’s not like the op is desperate to save the friendship and maybe seeing it from a different perspective with help the texting ex friend to understand.

as you say, there was NOTHING stopping her rescheduling.

I certainly wouldn't be looking to reschedule with someone who didn't even acknowledge me cancelling the arrangement because I had fallen down the stairs and injured myself. Would you?

Yes, I know the OP had been suffering depression at the time but her (ex) friend didn't know this.

I think you should read all the OP's posts before accusing people of randomly adding stuff.

@feelo hope you’re ok.

fwiw, I don’t think you were to blame for this. You clearly had huge things going on in your own life (I’ve been there too, you WILL get through this) and rightly felt it was too much effort to yet again put in the hard yards for someone who’d blow you out again.

as you say, there was NOTHING stopping her rescheduling.

I had this with an ex friend. Covid. She was pretty ill and her family were being utterly selfish about it. I was there for her, checking in on her etc.

i got Covid a few months later… crickets 🦗 There were other instances where I saw her priorities were elsewhere, quick to want support and lean, absent whenever I might have appreciated some support

it mirrored the shit I went through with my own family, so I’ve backed right off. Especially after I got some very judgmental comments, that just sealed the deal and I’ve now given up looking for a close female friend. Superfish all the way from now on. 😆

how would you feel if you don’t answer? If that’s too bad for you to contemplate, then reply and text back with what you went through and be clear that it’s best if you leave it there and wish her well.

@feelo You are well rid- she's not a real friend- If she had been , she'd have said in a further text ''Whoops! I broke my wrist'' - {which someone normally would follow up with } - also , if she was a true friend, you'd have texted her or phoned yourself.

Friendship is a two way street- if it's ''hard work'', or stilted, it's not a natural, easy friendship.

Move on.

Ermm no I haven’t.

It’s no excuse but I was severely depressed, to the point the police had done a welfare check on me that Friday where I’d lied for a good 20 minutes telling them I was fine and I was seeing her on the Sunday. I think sometimes with depression you can’t think outside that horrendous bubble.

You’re the one who has obviously missed parts.

Anyone who is that depressed is obviously not in their right frame of mind (which OP would agree on) and will not have been a very good friend at the time, even without not replying when her friend had injured herself.

If my friend had injured themselves I wouldn’t think twice about replying hoping they’re ok and asking if they need anything.

The fact that OP didn’t, shows what state of mind she was in.

OP was the one who mentioned police involvement.

@iamawarriorwhojustcrieseasily are you serious??? Falling down the stairs and fracturing your wrist (probably amongst other bumps and bruises) is a reason to cancel! She had to go to get her wrist seen too.

When I slipped down the stairs and fractured my big toe I took a hell of a bashing and couldn't stop shaking for a few hours due to the adrenaline and ended up in a moon boot for 4 weeks!

The friend isn't a mind reader and the OP said her friend didn't know she was depressed.

So from her friends perspective, she messaged her to say she was injured...and friend ignored her.

I think the friendship is over and either OP explain about her own heath problems or not message back.

I would text back this

Im so sorry. I have been suffering with debilitating depression and neglected to check up on you. Im genuinely sorry you were injured and that i behaved selfishly. Take care .

Then block her.

The fact that she pressed send on that message tells you she is an idiot. Take her at her word, just don't reply at all, and give her no more thought.

I'd say she'd already proven she's not a great friend tbh
Respond to tell her what you've Said here and maybe if she wasn't so self obsessed she'd have enquired after you in all that time. Then leave it.
Some friendships aren't meant to last

It reminds me of the poem

I was angry with my friend
I told my friend, my wrath did end
I was angry with my foe
I told him not, my wrath did grow

Communication is everything but some people are just awful and never think they've done anything wrong and still have the audacity to get the hump. Just block her

🤣

You seem to have missed a few parts of the original post and randomly added a bit about police involvement 🤷🏼‍♀️