Ex friend text to tell me what a horrible person I am

@Butchyrestingface I didn't link to it - I was replying to the poster who did 🙃

It’s not just two sides of the same story. It’s the same story, from the other side, written as if it’s JUST happened, except last August. They can’t both be true. Either it happened last August or it happened right now. And both from brand new posters. The poster in August never posted again. I suspect this poster won’t either. Hence reporting it.

I'd text back, 'Sadly, you have no idea what was going on in my life at the time. You were too self absorbed to ask. You are right. The friendship is over'.

Then I'd block.

Assuming that both threads are two sides of this story, how do we know that the insta was the OP's? And people are allowed to go out when they are depressed, especially as the OP has made it clear that meeting people gave her a reason to get out of bed.

I stand by the "self absorbed friend can jog on" sentiment.

Someone has already linked to that upthread.

You should have replied to her message after she fell, it was rude not to. You have issues like depression in your life she didn’t know about so there’s every chance she’s got issues of her own that you didn’t know about.

Sounds like the friendship has run its course, I wouldn’t even bother replying now. Neither of you sound like good friends to each other so I’d let it go.

Were you the person described in that other thread @feelo ? Were you out with other friends and displaying on insta etc?

I would have replied 'Who dis?'

Ooooh

You should have texted to check on her after she broke her wrist. However you were severely depressed, which is a mental illness to be considered seriously. I'd message back, " I'm really sorry I didn't check on you. I actually had severe depression, and went through a dark time. The police were sent to check on me at some point. So please don't think I ignored you on purpose, I was suffering from poor mental health issues. I sincerely hope that you are okay." I feel as though you should let her know, as it clearly explains why it happened. The reason is probably what she wants to know, as its been a year later and she hasn't moved on from it. I hope you end up on good terms again.

This is a really lovely post with some excellent advice in your first and last paragraphs.

I’m so glad your baby survived against all odds, you must have had to be incredibly strong to cope in that situation.

She hurt herself and you didn’t much care, it was all about your disappointment at not meeting on that day. Then you got immersed in your own very difficult stuff and never reached out. She feels dumped. Dumped people get very angry and hurt sometimes. She could definitely have handled it better but you’re not just an innocent party in this.

Just ignore her. I know that feeling - a close relative did something similar to me and it's unpleasant. Believe me, the sinking feeling will subside, but as to whether you can put the whole thing behind you in the long run, that's another story. I still feel very sad, but I haven't gone back to the relationship, my relative told me how horrible I am so clearly she doesn't want me in her life any more, and I don't want to impose my "horrid" self on someone who feels that way. Sad way for things to end, but all things must pass.

It's still all about her to her. If you explained, I bet she would make it all about her still. Her rage all this time later is a real red flag to me. Bet something else has happened and it's prompted her to lay into you. You're well rid. I hope you're doing better now.

She;s pissed off because she lost her audience and I would bet a bag of lemon sherberts that you are not the only person who has allowed friendship with her to drift. if she is as self absorbed as she sounds, can you imagine what an absolute cow she must have been over her wedding?

And the comment about how if YOU had rearranged she would have gone, that says it all. You, and others, are there to facilitate her life, no reciprocity at all.

Delete, block, forget. She aint worth the rent free space you are currently allowing her in your head. You have worked too hard to get to where you are now to allow toxicity back into your life.

Stay well

It wasn’t a horrible or selfish thing to do. Op was depressed and in a bad way at the time so answering texts wasn’t something she could do. Maybe the friend should have texted again asking if Op was okay.

Sounds like she is projecting. She needs an outlet, to vent, and unfortunately you were the target for that.

Bit confusing she wants you to know the friends has ended. I'd say it ended a year ago.

She cancelled a meeting because she hurt her wrist. That didn't stop her checking in especially if it was out of character for @feelo to not be in contact. If one of my friends suddenly stopped contact I'd care to message. Id check on them. I'd actually care to pop round if I didn't get a response. I wouldn't wait a year and then tell them why they are a wanker. Everyone has shit going on. The message writer has no concern about @feeloit's all about her.

@feelo severe depression is a ‘good’ reason to not respond!! I note that she didn’t follow up until a year later - your view that contact was always initiated by you was correct. If she felt it was unusual for you not to be in contact perhaps she should have thought ‘maybe something is wrong with Feelo - I should check in with her’. But she didn’t. What does that tell you? Has she run out of people and is reaching out to you now?

It's not just that is it though:?

It's that PLUS what you said in your opening post that the last time you met she showed no interest in you whatsoever.

It sounds like the friendship was over at the point she cancelled on you because she'd been treating you in a way that you felt meant she wasn't a good friend.

What she says cuts both ways. You are as entitled to be pissed off and hurt that she didn't check in on you. If you had the police welfare checking on you, sounds like you were in a worse place than she was with an injured wrist.

My strong advice is DO NOT reply to her text because she has behaved badly to you . There is no need to send a nasty text like that - what's the point exactly? It's only purpose is obviously to upset you because she doesn't need to tell you the friendship is over.

If you don't reply, you retain some dignity and power because she will stew on it mentally forever - why didn' t she reply? which is a nice position for you to be in as she's been unpleasant.

She hasn't said anything that would suggest OP thought her friend was putting it on.

I daresay OP didn't think the injury would still be troubling her a year later but it would certainly be the height of rudeness in ordinary circumstances, imo, not to even acknowledge text message from a friend telling you they have to cancel because they've fallen down the stairs and have hurt themselves.

Obviously, OP has a reasonable excuse. But the friend doesn't know that. I don't agree with the friend contacting her in this way with her grievances a year after the fact. But I can certainly see why she would have been upset at the time.

This!
another spiteful little madam who wants the last word.

OP please don't send a pass agg message like this!!
Honestly I think you have both been through tough times, not behaved the best towards each other as a result, and don't care enough about the friendship to resolve it. Best thing to do is move on. If you want to message her, apologise, give the context if you need but make it clear you're not making an excuse, and wish her the best for the future.

🤣🤣🤣

She sounds like a narc.