Need help with daughters weight

I'd suggest an exercise you can both do together?

A family martial arts class? Ninja Warrior? Sunday Park run?

Kids need to be doing exercise/active as part of their daily routine. If she refuses then put some consequences in place.

Of only every child carrying too much weight on their stomachs was exactly the same as yours, the UK wouldn't have such a big problem with childhood obesity...

Oh wow - agreed @SpeedyDrama !

I know it’s not the done thing to search the op but the level of negativity made me hope it was a troll. Unfortunately I think the op needs get some help outside of mn as an advance search really suggests the op is on the road to causing her daughter emotional issues.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5035302-to-ask-if-you-ever-went-through-a-patch-of-not-liking-your-child-very-much?reply=134008545

If her diet is healthy just try increasing the veg on her plate and decreasing everything else on plate so she has at last a 1/3 plate veg. If she wants snacks stick to fruit and veg sticks.

Mine have free access to fuit and veg sticks but biscuits etc or limited to one portion day after dinner. Pudding if they want once is fruit and yogurt

This is my daughter too! She's 7 shortly and has proper curves but we know when she needs a poo or she's eaten too much because she bloated. Once she's been to the toilet her belly goes flat but she still has a big round bum and the beginnings of breasts. She has also naturally weaned herself off dairy and I wonder if that used to make her bloat too. We do lots of exercise to combat getting overweight as I feel with her shape it would be very easy to put on weight. Obviously this is all without her knowing- she's just doing lots of activities she enjoys and we never comment negatively about our bodies or food etc.

My dd was a bit overweight at 10, then had a massive growth spurt over the year and is now 5ft 1 and very slim. Encourage a healthy diet, normal portions and try and move more as a family, so it doesn't seem like scheduled exercise.

You say she "eats so much" so you know she is eating more than she should.
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Stop giving her so much. Smaller portions.

i 100% agree with you @Notimeforaname . I actually said as the first reply to the OP, what does she feel is in her control as a parent? I was roundly ignored.

Until this is answered so to speak, everything else then becomes self delusion. So she can run a bit more, she could walk further , but you can’t outrun these kind of choices every day.

How tall is she? You say 5st like it's massive but my tall 5 year old isn't far off that (although he's off the charts for height as well)

Would she maybe enjoy something like dancing? Possibly something fun like street dance rather than something serious like ballet.

You say she "eats so much" so you know she is eating more than she should.

Stop giving her so much. Smaller portions.

You say she doesn't do much so you can easily control what she has access to at home..and yes you have to make her walk or cycle or swim. Not even for weight, just for general health and setting her up with the skills to take care of herself later.

If she won't exercise the best thing you can do it control calories by diet (without saying that is what you are doing). Work out how many she's getting, how many she needs and have a look at portion sizes. Would she enjoy fun activities like trampolining? Swimming sessions with inflatables?

I personally hate most exercise but I do walk a lot....is there a way you could build more walking in - to the shops, around a park, to friends houses?

Why does everyone on this thread think that teenage years will lead to their kids “stretching out”… it’s quite fascinating

I’d argue the opposite - that many of the youth of today are learning food habits young that then lead them to a ‘processed food’ look, no matter how much they’re outdoors or whatever. Which is all then exacerbated by the need to wear weird nude coloured tight sportswear clothing everywhere because presumably one of Kanye West’s partners did it once.

If her diet is healthy I'd look at exercise and reframe that. I think many of us carry baggage from our school days around exercise and see it as negative. As a parent, I'd start to see it as as fundamental as sleep, teeth brushing, eating vegetables etc and at 10 you can start to frame it to her like that too. Look at the gov activity levels and make it a new household aim to start following them, obviously giving her lots of choice as to how. Does she do any extra curricular activities? Does she like bike riding, skateboards, climbing, swimming, dancing, martial arts?

My 9yo has just seen a paediatrician for other concerns, but I mentioned that in the past year he seems to get a bit chubby in his tum area and then he shoots upwards, and then it repeats again. The paediatrician said this is completely normal for children of this age, but the concerns arise when the child continues to gain weight disproportionately to their height growth.

If you’re concerned get professional advice from a dietician or GP. For exercise explore as many options as you can - what about dancing? There are so many different types like street dance, etc. Does the family have bikes? Just Dance game on a Switch? Fun family swimming.

Is she conscious of her weight? I have a super sporty 10yo DD who also has a bit of a round tummy at times. I think she may have some sort of intolerance actually as she seems to bloat throughout the day. She does over 10hrs of physical activity per week & is often out on her bike etc at weekends so I assume as she gets older she will stretch & it will even out. It's hard as some of her friends are still tiny whereas she is already more developed which means curves. I don't mention it, neither does she but I do make sure she eats well most of the time. What does your DD like to do for fun? Does she have a bike? Could you try trampolining etc on the weekend? There will be something she likes it's just finding it.

My son is very overweight so you have my sympathy. He does Karate and cubs which involves walking a lot in nice weather. We are always out walking and I tell him to run to X run after your sister etc. All the time he can run I know he is still fit.

Glad to hear that!

Well it's forcing exercise and controlling food then! But with empathy, sneakiness and love.

Does she walk to school, walk with you on weekends, have a dog, like sneaky activities like trampoline, water park, building things, whatever? What is she doing for fun? Devices (get rid) or art? If so, walking around galleries and museums.

Adults can't outrun a bad diet but exercise does make a difference with children. DD eats like a horse but walks a lot so burns it.

You need to change the way you talk about your daughter entirely.

You are being very negative about her, which will cause her harm.

A large belly with very thin arms and legs can be a medical issue such as constipation or other issues - it may be that you need to seek medical help from your GP about this.

Even if she were overweight, which she does not appear to be, the advice is to let her grow into her weight, - definitely no diets, and no negativity around food or what she eats.

I think you seriously need to look at yourself and how you parent a daughter about to go into puberty, who needs encouragement to like herself despite any difficulties/concerns about her body.

Is incredibly short and apple shaped normal for either of your families? Because it wouldn't be in mine and I would be really worried. But my friend's family, they are all that shape.