Need help with daughters weight

Also interesting how that‘s exactly the age when lots of girls start to hate their weight and end with (often concealed) but lifelong issues regarding food.

Yet from the outside it only their physical appearance and ability to slim down that is acknowledged and applauded.

Why do people post this utter drivel??

Hang in there. Your daughter will too.

How on earth do you know that she's not going to end up adding to the child or teenage obesity statistics?

You don't, you actually have no clue so why would you say that?

The only way to help is to give her smaller portion. Lots of kids eat out of boredom or just because it's tasty but encouraging a drink of water and waiting should help. As for exercise walking will be the easiest and cheapest. Even if its just walking to the shops. A trampoline in the garden along with her favourite music will also do wonders.
Kids are increasingly overweight nowadays so good on you for caring enough to do something about it.

There must be some ways she can move her body more that she'd enjoy.

walking - can she use Pokémon app to hunt for Pokémon's - my DD would moan at 'going for a walk' but will hunt Pokémon's happily during a walk.

waterpark - fun swimming, climbing over inflatable obstacle course, walking up to flumes etc

Trampoline park - high intensity and I've never met a kid who doesn't love this

indoor rock climbing?

indoor play centre like a ninja warrior type place with lots of monkey bars etc?

a 'cool' dance class like cheer, acro, aerial silks?

most of the above the toddler could enjoy too?

My now 11 year old put on a bit of weight on her tummy last year and it turned out she was constipated? Any chance that has happened here?

I also find it hard to believe that a child of 10 doesn’t enjoy any movement at all? Is she uncomfortable in some way? Does she like dancing or roller skating or swimming or anything really you could encourage. I wouldn’t force her out on walks - but have family walks or say that in future we are walking to the shops/an activity whatever is natural. Walking is very boring for children so they would need to be walking somewhere.

@DarcyHargrove

My sister was overweight her entire life, and our mum did her best to feed her healthy foods and watch her portion sizes.
Then all of a sudden at 16, sister miraculously dropped all the weight and grew into a beautiful young woman.
Hang in there. Your daughter will too.

Whilst exercise is important, it's what she's eating that causes weight gain & for now at least, you are presumably in full control of this. Quietly and gradually this needs to change ideally before secondary school when she will have more freedom and choice.

Stop buying rubbish snacks, limit the amount of fatty or fried food she has, no takeaways or fast food, encourage snacking on fruit and veg, add more veg to her plate so she doesn't see small portions. Don't use food as a treat - if you get her out on a walk offer to do facepacks together when you get home rather than buy a hot chocolate when you're out. These little things really add up. If she queries tell her your it's a cost thing. I would also keep trying to find something to get her moving - I hated sport & exercise as a child but would happily go bowling for example. And if your relationship is strained, find a something to do together - trampolining, local am dram society, a walk to town to get your nails done, walk around a shopping centre for a few hours - anything to bond and move more without her realising either are the intention and she just sees a nice thing to do with her mum which it hopefully will become.

Hi op, I used to find when mine wanted to eat more than I thought they needed, I would give them a sensible sized portion. When they then asked for more I would make sure they’d had a drink & tell them to wait 20 minutes. If they were actually hungry they would get more to eat after 20 minutes, but the majority of the time it was just habit of asking for more. I think it’s something to do with it taking the brain a little while to know that you’re actually full.

What DOES she enjoy doing? And what does she do?

I find it hard to believe that a child has absolutely zero interest in doing any form of physical activity. I get that a lot of children aren't keen on walking because they see it as boring, but there are so many other ways to get exercise, surely there must be something she enjoys?

Weight centred in the torso can be a sign of Cushings disease.

Bit of a tangent but have you considered coeliac? Laziness could be due to low iron levels from poor absorption, overeating could be her body craving vitamins.

Just leave her alone. She's 10.

In another year or so, she'll be at secondary school, and everything may change by then. Puberty will hit, and she'll be into her looke and make up.

Some ideas we have tried: swapped to smaller plate/bowl (for everyone). No seconds. Snacking is only fruit or veg (available any time).
Enrol in non-sport activity (brownies, choir, art class, music, drama). Walk to the park/shop/round the block before or after school one day (same day each week so it is routine). Kitchen disco night. Cosmic yoga or kids Zumba on YouTube (do it together). Geocache.

without outwardly shaming her or telling her off.

The op holds the opinion that her daughter is unhealthy, fat, lazy, dirty and has a thread on how she doesn’t like her very much and always telling her off. It’s quite evident that the negative view of her daughter is already spilling out and will cause issues if the op doesn’t manage what sounds like a pretty typical girl on the verge of puberty in a more delicate and understanding way.

No, of course you can but your tone about your daughter on several threads suggests you see her as a problem and it’s causing you to dislike her. Until you recognise there is an issue with yourself in how you’re seeing your daughter, there isn’t much advice people here can give that can help the situation. You’re trying to fix your daughter without fixing your perspective.

What is her diet like? 5 stone doesn't seem too heavy?

Before secondary school her diet is pretty much in your control. Don't say anything, decrease portions increase vegetables and just make her walk places with you.

If she doesn't have a health issue, it's your fault she is like this and you need to watch how you talk about her. You were supposed to walk a lot as a family and have sports as a normal part of life, you let her down and you're taking your laziness, your failings as a parent which is evident in your poor child's appearance as the child's fault. You are blaming your child to avoid blame on YOUR bad and lazy parenting. I feel so sorry for your girl. You're so mean to her after causing her to be like this.

I'm convinced that portion size is causing weight issues for many kids. It's shocking how many toddlers are served near adult-sized portions of food and drink, then given seconds or thirds when they ask for it. I also notice that in DH's family they immediately ask of someone wants seconds when the plate is nearly empty so the reflexive answer is yes. I had to tell DH to stop asking before DD has even finished her food so she can actually decide if she's full.

It's absolutely possible for kids or adults for that matter, to learn to be satiated on less. In some cultures like Japan, meals come in default tiny portions and people get accustomed to feeling 60-80% full after a meal. Eating speed is also a factor so slowing down the entire meal or waiting at least 5-10mins for seconds helps them consume less calories without any dramatic changes.

I would say start with 30% smaller portions. Also reduce the sizes of seconds or thirds dramatically. Reduce the proportion of carbs to veg/protein. One heaped tablespoon of rice or 1-2 medium potatoes is more than enough to give the "carby" feel to a meal, instead of piling half the plate full of carbs. Carbs are also softer and quicker to eat so it's easy to unknowingly consume a huge amount of calories in a short time. Replacing that with chewier food like steak or veg helps lengthen the meal.

I think that's a bit harsh. If you actually read her posts on that thread she doesn't sound bad. Leave the OP alone she's trying to help her daughter find interests, be clean, tidy and not overweight without outwardly shaming her or telling her off. I could have done with some of that at her age.

First post nailed it!