For DH to insist on vaginal birth not ceasarean

He absolutely has no say.

However I find her just not wanting the pain to be a bit of a ridiculous reason for a C section. It’s a massive unnecessary cost to the NHS and slightly raises risk to he health of the baby and mother. Anecdotally I had an emergency C section and the midwives were very surprised when DD just latched onto a nipple and started sucking away soon after birth as apparently issues with breastfeeding are more common after C sections.

@TwigletsAndRadishes you can have a c section for whatever reason you want 😂 ‘I don’t want to split my vagina’ was top of my list. My consultant didn’t care what my reasons were though, because women in the UK have the right to choose how they give birth.

That’s right, OP. Women. Not their partners. I didn’t even ask my other half what he thought, but if I had he would have said ‘it’s not up to me, you are the one who has to do it’.

My friend’s ex didn’t want her to have a c section, or even pain relief either. She thought he was a sweet guy. He’s not though, he’s a complete prick. Only a complete prick would tell someone else what to do with their body. We are very glad he is an ex.

Your ‘friend’s’ partner should keep his opinions to himself unless he plans on pushing baby out of his mangina.

I was absolutely shit scared of having to have a c section. Didn't want an operation etc.

I was lucky in that I was able to have vag delivery with gas and air and, other than feeling a bit saddle sore for a couple of days, was fine. Dh was, perhaps, more traumatised by having to wipe my arse when I pooed though. I have a vague memory of that, but it's clearly a memory he will take to his grave😁

Acute, infected sinusitis though.... nothing will ever, ever come close to that.

I think it's her choice not his.

C section not necessarily easier/painless option though.

https://youtube.com/shorts/AYqPYxv8TEg?si=ewqesQ4xeo_XL-N-

I’ve done a virginal birth (with epidural) and an emergency c section and give me the vaginal any day, within hours I was back to normal not even a twinge. The c section was agony for weeks. But her body her choice and that’s the end of it.

Not in my experience no. Everyone who I know that’s had a CS has said how extremely painful it is and they’ve all taken longer to recover

But do 1 in 3 actually need a CS. Or are they just told that? Like I was and obviously DIDNT. need it as DD1 born vaginally with no issues

I don't really give a fig whether other people have one or not although astounded that the NHS does them willy nilly.

Never had one myself After long labour with DD1 then DD2 was born in 12 mins flat lol

However I've had a hysterectomy ( cervical cancer) and was weeks and weeks before back to normal. Pain , hobbling about , terrible gas and split open scar Couldn't have coped with that with a newborn and other kids to lift about, do nursery runs etc

I have 2 words for this "sweet" man.

Lots of posters on this thread with out of date advice or just assuming their opinion on c-sections is correct.

The guidance changed recently (within the last 2 years) and a maternal request c-section is now permitted. There doesn’t need to be a particular reason for making that maternal request, so even ‘I just don’t want to give birth vaginally’ is acceptable.

At my booking appointment, when covering medical history, I said to my midwife that I was nervous about the affect of pushing and potentially needing forceps would have on my pelvic floor in light of a previous rare gynae surgery I had, she said straight away that an elective c-section was an option and she could refer me to a consultant. I’ve got that appointment in 3 weeks time, when I will be 16 weeks.

Like with my eldest DD after 42 hours of contractions. They tried to bully my 19 year old self into a CS . I steadfastly refused to sign the consent form

I’ve been a midwife for 16 years and part of my job now is counselling women who request a CS without medical indication. It’s not difficult, I’m not there to persuade her otherwise, just to make sure the pros & cons of both types of birth are discussed so she can make an informed choice. If she definitely wants a CS then I book it for her at the end of the appointment. I’m yet to meet a consultant who would refuse a mat request CS, especially when most obstetricians I’ve met opt for an elective CS themselves. This isn’t just one hospital either, I’ve worked in 4 units in different parts of the country and none of them have made anyone fight to have a CS if that’s what they want; women are fed a myth that they’ll have to jump through hoops to get the birth they want but the reality is often quite different.

@Pookerrod, yes I have heard similar things about pethidine. I didn’t ask for it as I didn’t want to feel passive or out of control.
I ended up with no drugs with DC1 because by the time I’d got to hospital and been handed the gas and air it was time to push and the gas was no use at that point.

With DC2 I was at home and didn’t need any drugs. There were definitely times in both births when I was shouting for an epidural but they were short-lived moments and I obviously got through them!

Also I sort of wanted to experience labour and birth without anything to take the edge off. I was curious! Some women call that martyrish or weird or whatever, which is fine as long they don’t also bang on about the importance of maternal choice! I don’t really understand why someone would choose an ELCS without medical need and I also don’t really understand women choosing not to try breastfeeding, but I don’t need to understand other women’s choices.

I think they both need to do a bit more research around birth, the pros and cons of vaginally vs cesarean for both mother and baby. However, it's her choice not his.

You can request away but it’s a medical procedure that needs to be done for a medical reason. Not sure low pain threshold counts.

having had both types of birth, I’d go for vaginal everytime - a bit more pain full at the time (even with stitches) but much better recovery than a major operation.

You’re probably listening to en who’ve endured hours of labour and wound up with an EMCS. My two electives were bordering on serene.

This is wrong as far as I’m concerned. I’ve had two. Once it wore off, I wasn’t in pain generally. It pulled when I hauled myself off the bed or sofa, but I wasn’t in any pain otherwise.

It’s more just hearing the experiences women have gone through on here and in RL.

I read a lot more posts/threads from women who have been through caesareans and say that it’s a bigger deal than vaginal births.

Of course it may be biased or they may be exaggerating but I still prefer to listen to the women who’ve actually had them.

Fist time dads have absolutely no clue about childbirth. They don't learn much and form a very romantic view of it being 'natural' and best for the baby. My DH felt like this and was surprised now phobic I am about vaginal birth. A bit of education and giving him a book about pros of c sections quickly had him convinced. Birth injuries are serious!!

Ask him if he had a watermelon stuck inside him would he rather shit it out or have it surgically removed? I had 3 c-sections and they’re not easy, but vaginal birth can have plenty of complications too, including ending in emergency c-section. If she wants an elective, she should have it. I’m definitely team “no uterus, no opinion” 🙄

Unless he's pushing the 7lb watermelon out of his penis he doesn't get a say!

It's really weird but I have no recollection of any pain after my C-section. I must have had some discomfort but I don't recall it and neither does my dh. My two vaginal births however OMG. I think I suffered trauma from them so the whole experience scarred me. The c-section was absolute bliss

@easylikeasundaymorn

As I said before - I don’t think my opinion overrides anyone’s and I am not saying anyone should do anything in particular. Completely up to them.

I just can’t fathom how when you weigh it up that a caesarean would be the better medical option for someone who is completely fit and healthy.

I know plenty who’ve had an elective due to breech baby, multiple birth, previous birth complication, advanced age and so on… if there was liable to be significant mental distress or anxiety then fine and absolutely the right option.

Obviously the Dr will be able to advise whoever as to what is safest for them.

Her body her choice.

That being said, I would encourage her to research all birthing options so SHE can make an informed decision that is not coming from a place of fear.

FWIW there have been a few threads re 'What is the most painful thing you've experienced' and most are not childbirth!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4647616-what-is-the-most-pain-you-have-ever-experienced

Outdated thinking thankfully. Fear of giving birth is a perfectly accepted reason for a c section nowadays. I elected for a c section to protect my mental health, consultant approved it. Had to have one for medical reasons in the end but I would have had my c section anyway.

Yes you’re misinformed and probably have been exposed to anti medical, non intervention birth