Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my boyfriend being nasty?

39 replies

DespPirate · 26/02/2024 22:58

I have been really struggling mentally and it’s caused recent problems in our relationship, things have blown up the last few days.
It’s due to the arguments but I don’t think it excuses the fact that he’s been really really nasty to me the last few days. Sarcastic, calling me a disgrace, leaving me crying on a kerb while he walked off, saying “I can do whatever the fuck I want” when I called him out on this.

i have apologised and said I’ll get help. I thought I was doing the right thing by suggesting couples counselling, but he instantly snapped and said “yeah I’m happy to, but all our problems are down to you so why don’t you sort yourself out first”. He can’t understand that I acknowledge this already, but also see that it’s made him really nasty too.
I was just trying to be helpful and show him our relationship is important to me too

OP posts:
MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 26/02/2024 23:15

To be honest I'm surprised he hasn't snapped before going off your other post. He's right you do need to work on yourself before you suggest couples therapy.

this post just proves you're quite abusive towards him.

Changeusernameseeusernamehistory · 26/02/2024 23:11

Your question, It really isn’t about couples therapy. I read your other thread. The context makes a huge difference.

but tbh OP, it is both possible that he is a very supportive boyfriend who reached the end of his tether in a sleep deprived stressful moment, and that he may turn out to have been biding his time. But you said you’ve been together 2 years, right? I think his mask would have slipped before, but I obviously don’t know the whole story

GrazingSheep · 26/02/2024 23:10

You are getting replies that fit the narrative without the context of your other thread.
You did that deliberately.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/02/2024 23:08

He honesty sounds so much like my ex who hasn't changed at all in fact he got worse. Please get individual counselling for yourself. And don't choose him to father your child if you want one- look at my username. Obviously I got blamed that he walked out on my when I was extremely pregnant. Sounds like you might be dating my ex tbh

KissMyArt · 26/02/2024 23:07

Your previous thread is absolutely relevant.

It points to the fact that both of you are at your wits end, and that he's not just some sort of typical wanker that you read about on MN all the time.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 26/02/2024 23:06

Can you link to your other post

Namenamchange · 26/02/2024 23:06

Oh it’s sounds completely different reading your other posts.

GrazingSheep · 26/02/2024 23:05

I didn’t need to write all the detail from the old thread.

You did. It’s very relevant.

Original poster
DespPirate · 26/02/2024 23:03

I didn’t need to write all the detail from the old thread. My question this time is about couples therapy.

OP posts:
Namenamchange · 26/02/2024 23:03

Try to look at this honesty and with an open mind.

which came first? The mental health problems or the boyfriend? Because I can guarantee your mental health will get better if you leave this person.

PerfectTravelTote · 26/02/2024 23:02

This relationship is not bringing anything positive to your life.

Get out.

TomeTome · 26/02/2024 23:00

He sounds horrible.