Pronouns at work

They tried this at my work but it died a death quickly because people mostly ignored the instruction. They also tried pronoun badges, still didn't go anywhere. Just register your objection by not taking part. If they threaten formal action, then agree with others contact sex matters for guidance.

I would never add pronouns to my email signature or any other document for that matter.

It is childish and unnecessary. Inclusion should not cause others to feel excluded.

People will look back in this era in years to come and wonder how such nonsense was ever entertained.

People should be encouraged to use pronouns if they wish. But that’s the key - choice - doesn’t seem very inclusive to force people….

If I received a work related email, I’d just deal with whatever the query was. Why would I need (or want) to know if the sender is male/female or (? non-binary)

Good for you for not bowing to pressure. I just cannot get my head around how some people think that forcing people to declare their pronouns somehow trumps the right to not disclose. It is so illogical apart from anything else.

The key thing is that OP's HR department isn't inviting staff to include their pronouns, they are compelling it. There's a massive difference.

Demanding a declaration of gender pronouns is sexist and has a negative impact on EDI.

They are asking you which sex stereotype you want to be labelled with. Not just what is your physical sex, but asking whether you sign up to the woman ‘gender identity’, whatever that means.

Ask them why, and ask for clarity.

Whose version of sexist stereotypes do they mean? which place/time/culture?

What are you signing up to if you say she/her? Making sandwiches? Dressing a particular way? Piping down?

Ask how they would treat you differently if you say he/him.

Dont let them fob you off by saying it’s just a courtesy. It’s clear they are asking you about gender identity, not sex, and gender is innately sexist.

If your organisation runs unconscious bias training, refer to it, and say that you can see unconscious bias problems in this policy.

if your organisation doesn’t run unconscious bias training, tell them that they need it.

Additionally, it is debatable whether pronoun declarations are genuinely positive for trans people anyway. Not all trans people want to be questioned every day about their gender.

If you don't know (and for whatever reason, need to know) if the person you are exchanging emails with is male or female, just put their name into Google or LinkedIn. It's never failed me yet.

An example of the discrimination that results from clients realising that you are a woman:
https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/what-happened-when-a-man-signed-work-emails-using-a-female-name-for-a-week_n_58c2ce53e4b054a0ea6a4066

When I see people using them I think they’re not as intelligent as they’d like to appear.

Shows a distinct lack of critical thinking/inability to think for themselves.

a handy idiot filter if you will.

I personally have no issue with attaching my pronouns to work correspondence and can see why it can be helpful in some respects but I think a blanket approach is harmful all round including to some trans or non binary people. I personally would take that approach with your hr and explain that you have concerns that their approach may force people to 'out' themselves before they are ready to do so, or to attach a label to themselves when they have not yet identified how they wish to be addressed which can be very distressing. I would say that I support the idea in principle (although you may not in which case that's up to you) but that you feel that enforcing it actually can be harmful and undermines the intention they are doing it with.

See what they come back with. If they're in any way sensible they should recognise that as a very valid concern.

See also: Dame Stephanie "Steve" Shirley.

Is that so? 🧐

I don’t get this because why should it fucking matter? I have a job whereI often email people from around the world and it’s not always obvious whether they are male or female. Some names you’ve never heard of so it’s not always easy to tell. doesnt stop me, or them doing our actual jobs and getting on with our lives.

If any other group was pushing for this would they behave the same?

If it was the Catholic Church or the Hindu community or people from Japan or Bangladesh pushing pronouns and surgery and mixed sex spaces would they approach this any differently?

kind regards,

Jane doe
fe/fi/fo/fum

But how do you ‘know’ that poster is an assigned female at birth person? They could easily be an assigned male at birth person who is now identifying as or has indeed actually become an assigned female at birth person , because, you know, it’s an anonymous forum. People call themselves all sorts including characters from famous fiction, plants, foodstuffs…..but they are not.

So please don’t assume someone’s gender from their handle. So easy to cause distress or offence by such rash and heartless assumptions.

I emailed someone for 3 years who had an Indian name and i thought they were a man. Later found out they are a woman. It made absolutely no difference to how i communicated with them.

But is that such a big deal ?

my boss once asked me to call someone called Billy. Yes, I’ll call him in a second I responded. Billy is a woman, said my boss. No detriment whatever to not knowing Billy’s pronouns in advance

Not saying you’d need any help just happy to support iyswim

@Svalberg that’s shocking. But yes exactly why we should think twice as women!

Head of HR here

our big boss suggested this. “To be inclusive” I told them “no”. People can choose to add them should they wish but over my dead body will we mandate it.

Your HR department are inept and don’t understand the law or inclusion. Push back and tell them know and if you get any shot DM me and I’ll help you draft a letter or grievance.

Sex matters are a good source to articulate your points but I can see others have linked to them.

And I've had customers refuse to communicate with me once they've found out I'm a woman, and would rather get information from Kevin the trainee who had 25 years less experience than me, but hey, he's a bloke and automatically knows more than a woman. It's why I use my initial then surname when writing work emails to people I don't know.

(yes, Kevin the trainee had to get all his information from me because I was the PM on that project)

I think I would use the opportunity to highlights the potential absurdity of their request.

Tell them that you are gender fluid and identify as both some days, he one day, she another.

As such your pronoun can only be described as.

"he/him or she/her or he/him and she/her"

If they try to challenge this tell them that they being discriminatory but as a compromise you will agree the alternative is not to include your pronoun.

I sometimes have to use a male pseudonym at work as we have overseas clients who would refuse to do business with me or accept my answers/ explanations if they knew that I was a woman.