Pronouns at work

If someone chooses to state their pronouns in an email signature I will respect their choice 100%. I understand someone with an unusual name or one used by both men and women doing so (Alex or Chris as examples). Though I never include mine. My preference is to call a person by their name.

The only person who I know at work who has transgendered does not do so, just changed the name they are known by.

After you add your bespoke pronouns, you can campaign for everyone at your work to add their adjectives:

Delphinium 20
VP of Bullshittery and Compliance
Vape/Vote/VIP
Gorgeous/Brilliant/Charismatic

Me/Myself/I

I absolutely would not entertain this bollocks.

Yes this is what I'd do - literal/literals.

I can't state my pronouns because I don't want to be seen as stating an affinity with regressive stereotypes. If you're using 'she/her' because you can see I'm female, that's fine. If you're using it cos you feel entitled to assume I have some sort of laydee feelz than that's absolutely not OK.

So you can call me she/her if you're using pronouns as sex markers. If not, then I'm afraid there is no box which properly fits me because my identity is completely individual.

How does choosing a user name of absolutely female support male privilege and lead to the dismantling of women's rights? I can't really see the equivalence

Rachel Meade is a Social Worker.

She’s not a sub-class of Social Worker classified separately as “Gender Critical”, that’s an overt act of discrimination.

Rachel Meade is a Social Worker whose employer and regulator have been proven to have illegally obstructed her ability to work as a Social Worker.

For four years.

This is what “pronouns” mean in real life.

Sorry if I wasn’t clear @Fireyflies - I was agreeing/ adding to your comment.

I used to add Ms/Mrs occasionally if I felt it would be relevant - eg the person I was corresponding with might call or meet me at some point in the near future, just to avoid them erring and getting embarrassed.

Have worked in global settings where I often have no idea what sex a name is (if they are Chinese or Japanese, for instance) and there is no internal staff intranet to look them up, in which case if I have to refer to them in conversation with another person I would use ‘they’ until someone clued me in… 🤣

Just that it can sometimes be quite helpful to know how to refer to someone you've only met by email, when talking to others.

That's what "they" is for. I work with a lot of non-english names and use "they" all the time for this reason.

Ask them what other legally protected characteristics they'd like you to declare in your email signature. That might make them think.

I never suggested for a second that getting someone's gender wrong would damage their mental health, or mine @BusyMummyWrites01 . It's not a big deal. Just that it can sometimes be quite helpful to know how to refer to someone you've only met by email, when talking to others. If you happen to have an ambiguous name, and don't mind people knowing what sex you are, why wouldn't you make their life easier?

If you're actually called Susan or Robert then clearly it's just performative and of no practical use whatsoever.

tell them your pronouns are something ridiculous - go full on neo pronoun.
Document every instance of staff/company failing to use your stated pronouns
Sue them for harrassement for failure to use your declared pronous.
Have a nice long break on the proceeds while you look for new employer who isn't an utter arse.

What someone who has never met me accidentally refers to me as has absolutely no bearing on my mental health.

If it did, you'd have a far bigger problem than someone using the wrong pronouns.

These people need CBT to help their mental resilience, not the world changing for them. They will have better lives if they are taught more resilience.

I have a unisex, increasingly rare and more commonly associated with [old] men’s name - been mis-identified/referenced as male more times than I’ve had a tall, cold mai tai on holiday (and as my go-to drink, and as a very liberal partaker of cocktails, there have been more than a few).

Did I need a day off, counselling, or even 5 minutes to pull myself together? No. I just laughed, corrected, or ignored depending on context.

What someone who has never met me accidentally refers to me as has absolutely no bearing on my mental health. The workplace is not about ‘me’, it’s about the job, the team, the company goals/viability.

Time HR recognised this.

Gender-critical social worker wins tribunal against Westminster council - BBC News

Rachel Meade just won her case at tribunal for a similar offence of wrong think. Your HR department may want to rethink this policy. If not then great, don't comply, get sacked and claim a nice lump from your employer. I think more cases will be on the horizon due to this one, as many people have lost jobs for similar.

The problem isn't "Dear Danny...." It's when you have to email your team, or whoever and relay "Danny has asked us to do X. He/she needs this done by Friday because he/she has to.... And worse if you don't clock the the name Danny could be a man or a woman so accidentally plump for the wrong pronouns and confuse everyone (who may turn out to know Danny already)

The world is a sexist place. Why would I want to draw attention to my sex?

I started a new job this week and they told me I had to put my pronouns in my signature.

I was supposed to in my last job but never did, and would have refused if asked directly but I really didn’t want to have my card marked in the first week so I just did it.

Haven't RTFT but why do you need to know their pronouns if you've got their name, it doesn't matter whether they are a man or a woman. If I get an email from Danny, it doesn't matter if they are Daniel or Danielle, I respond using Danny.

This kind of believe in this or else is leading to payouts thankfully.

@Pandajane 🥱

My 15yo (like most of his peers) is also a bigger TERF than me: more than half his female mates identify as trans/enby/pan/ace. He’s sick of it, frankly, having watched his older sister put herself through the wringer for 6 years thinking she was trans and suffered the fallout first hand as a sibling. Fortunately, at 18, she finally realises she’s just a shy, socially awkward, ASD/ADHD, lesbian/bi person.

I don't see the big deal with addressing people in a gender neutral way either

When I address people, I use their name or say "you". In what way is that not gender neutral?

Also, have any of you who are moaning about this thread actually read the CIPD guidance I and others have linked to? The guidance which specifically addresses this point and is written by well qualified lawyers?