To want to find other closeted bi women near me (Kent)?

Part of me doesn’t even believe you are actually bi. I find it hard to believe it took until your late 40s and going without sex to have this ‘realisation’.
You’re just horny and haven’t had sex in a few years and think you’re more likely to get permission/sympathy from your husband to have sex with a woman than with a man.

As a bi woman I find threads like this really enraging. It’s just helping to ramp up the old stereotype that bisexual people can’t be monogamous! We also have to have the best of both worlds. Jesus Christ, being bisexual isn’t a free license to cheat if you’re supposedly in a monogamous relationship!!!

Curious why they have to be ‘closeted bi women’ - why not openly bi women or lesbians?

I think you should look for specialized websites not dating websites.

This is the reasons lesbians are not keen to date bi women. We have this reputation.

I was contacted by a lot of married women on tinder/pof and I hated it.

I was looking for a relationship, not to be fetishized.

Sex clubs even might be place to go? Your DH could then at least be " part of it. "

I'm in a similar position to you, OP.
Not looking to hook up on MN, and am the other side of the Country, but if you want to have a chat about discovering you're no late in life with a very supportive husband, feel free to PM me for a chat.
Also, have a look at Feeld.

I'm really sorry you've had these deeply unsympathetic, borderline aggressive responses. MN is very, very anti bi in general. I've seen some disgusting threads on here in my time. Tbh I think it's massively remiss of MN to let it fly. It wildly pisses me off. Yeah, there are vile, homophobic people out there but allowing them a platform to post their shit without challenge is 🤮.

That said, no you're not being unreasonable. I'd suggest trying Feeld. There is a kinky element to it, but there are lots of couples on there. I think you'll likely find another husband and wife looking for someone for the woman.

What you want is perfectly normal and reasonable. And no it's not bloody cheating if your DH knows about it and said it's fine. I suspect people are deliberately trying to misunderstand you on that point.

Good luck!

I'm not local to you unfortunately but I'm in a very similar situation if you would like to inbox me. Just be nice to connect with someone else who knows how I've been feeling for a while. I've been with dh a long time and he knows I'm bi but no one else does, as in family, friends. He's happy for me to experience being with another woman but life dictates that's not easy to do.

Nah, these are just straight women trying to please their husbands.

No, not true.

@ChocBanana look up Skirt Club.
It is exactly what you're looking for. You'll never look back. It's full of women in the same situation.

Join Skirt Club.

It's exactly what you're looking for.

Nah, these are just straight women trying to please their husbands.

Hmm. Perhaps you haven't seen what a real "barrage of abuse" looks like on here - I thought the responses were pretty measured tbh! But that will change after your aggressive reply.

Just keep looking online OP. There's something out there for every persuasion, but just be safe.

You're the one perpetuating stereotypes about bisexual women. Of which many of the women on this thread will be, by the way.

Bisexuality means you are attracted to both men and women, not that bisexual women need to have sex with both sexes and are not satisfied with just 1 - the 1 they chose to marry. Bisexual women do not as a rule cheat on their partners with the opposite sex. They are as capable of monogamy as anyone else and yet your OP is trying to say otherwise.

That, and you're using MN as Tinder; no one here cares that you're attracted to women, go find an actual website of people who want to help you cheat on your husband with health issues. Did you think a woman from Kent was going to PM you and jump at the chance?

We all ask things on Mumsnet and it is a safe space so it makes sense that it would be somewhere a person would go for advice. I personally don't get the offence taken by some posters

Alright, calm down Daffyd Thomas.

Your updates about your marriage puts a different spin on things. So you want to leave your husband, but feel that you can’t due to his deteriorating health? You feel duty bound to support him until the inevitable happens.

If your marriage is essentially over, couldn’t you amicably separate and still be supportive? I think it would be much better than asking his permission to have secret relationships.

Anonymity I thought is for the start and will be changed after chatting if they get on OK, Probably switch to another message system.

If there are hundreds of these women available, why aren’t you just going out there and meeting them, then? Pretty sure if you just ask on one the websites and forums you mention, you’ll find some women in your area. Bit weird to ask on Mumsnet.

Hi again, directing you to this thread in case you haven't seen it: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/sex/4878598-women-seeking-women?page=2

I think the replies here are more sympathetic because of how she's framed it, but it's also a thread started by a bi woman in a relationship with partner's permission to seek sex with women outside of the relationship.

I’m on lesbian dating apps and there are loads of bi women on there with profiles saying that they’re in relationships with men who have given them permission to sleep with women. No idea how successful they are in meeting women as I have no interest in matching with them but there are plenty of profiles with that on. They do all show their faces though - I can’t imagine any woman I know being willing to meet a woman for sex without having any idea of what she looks like.

Yeah AIBU isn't the right place, you just get narrow minded people jumping on talking shite.

I can imagine it would be a struggle to find what you're looking for. Someone wanting a relationship wouldn't want to be a secret, and someone wanting to be a secret more likely just wants a shag rather than a deeper connection.

No it really isn't. It's the definition of an open relationship. Honestly are you too narrow minded to understand that people are different and make different choices to the ones you make?

Then errr use those websites?

Listen, your relationship is your business. But I think it's worth taking these comments seriously because you'll encounter similar from bi women in real life as well. The reason it's irking people is because some people (perhaps not you) think of sleeping with a woman as a sort of kink, rather than a real relationship between mutually attracted people. Men who would never in a thousand years allow their wives to sleep with other men don't mind because it's "just" another woman. But if you ARE that other woman, and you are genuienly into women, then sleeping with a woman is not a kink. It's just sex. And it sucks to sleep with someone and realise that they are not into you as a person, they're just into whatever same sex intercourse represents to them.

Think of it this way: is your DH ok with you sleeping with a man? Are you ok with him sleeping with a woman? If you realised tomorrow that you are massively attracted to men with dublin accents would you get to sleep with one?

I think people are being pretty- and unnecessarily - rude and not reading your OP.

I think you got some good tips with sites++ here.
And I guess that's why you posted on mumsnet - to hear other's lived experiences.
Good luck and hope this thread was on balance good!

I get it op. Adult friend finder is another one you can look at.

Like most dating sites, it pays to be choosy as there are all sorts on there so be careful.

Your situation with your husband sounds difficult but if you've been open and honest with him and you both understand what's at stake, then you're going into it with eyes open at least.

I can't imagine anything more ick-inducing than a woman saying "It's OK, my hubby has given me permission to shag women on the side". 🤢