To think that not everyone has ADHD

My SIL has just been diagnosed with adhd in her twenties. I honestly didn't notice one obvious sign over the past decade. My partner (her brother) has almost every sign out there and has absolutely no interest in seeing anyone about it 🤷‍♀️
As a side note, I have ocd. My dad noticed it when I was in my teens (he was a trained counsellor) and I don't obsessively clean. I don't do well with mess/clutter though. I don't tell anyone I have it, they almost always don't understand what it actually is.

I’m recently diagnosed with ADHD. Wouldn’t have had a clue if not for the recent growth in media coverage of late-diagnosed women and instantly recognised myself.

Now I have an awareness of it I recognise the traits in other people - it’s not exactly uncommon!

I think doctors are diagnosing it a lot at the moment. They do get targeted to diagnose / prescribe things at times. No idea if this is one of them but seems plausible!

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=neurodivergent

A lot of kids are very obviously underparented and it's easy to label. I know someone whose kid has had everything going, from saturday night fever to galloping lergy. It's so stupid but the poor kid has got more labels than a supermarket shelf. I feel sorry for him as she tells anyone who will listen.
She obviously has problems to be so attention seeking.

Unfortunately benefits systems make it far too easy to obtain financial gain that isn't means tested and so money is given to people for conditions as above.

It's insane and takes away from those who genuinely need it

I think it's because there's so much more awareness of it now, which in some ways can only be a good thing in most cases. I guess some people jump on the bandwagon too easily e.g. blaming missing their keys due to it or whatever. That said if those people mentioning it help others to recognise their genuine condition it might help some people.

@3rdtimemomma gosh yes, it’s really so easy to get disability benefits, you just fill in a form and write ADHD. Said no-one who has ever applied for them, or advised people who have applied for them. Ever.

People don't actually still believe this, do they?

For the past couple of years, almost every ordinary person I have met has told me they have either dyslexia, OCD, ADHD or are "on the spectrum".

And yet for the first 50+ years of my life I don't recall even one person saying this.

How come?

You don’t need a diagnosis of anything to get disability benefits though it helps.

I personally think describing yourself with a diagnostic label rather than being diagnosed is outrageous. We shouldn’t pander to it.

So much hyperbole on this thread, but that was to be expected.

@Castform i genuinely think some really ignorant, cosseted people do actually still think like this. Let’s hope they never get a rude awakening and have to apply for terminal illness benefits or carer’s allowance and live off that, eh? Although I suspect a carer’s claim is probably … quite unlikely…

The problem is that people come onto MN asking for advice to be more aware about ASD and ADHD . Unfortunately some PP who have been diagnosed jump on these threads and can be really unpleasant about people being ignorant…catch 22 🤷‍♀️

You're right, we should just go back to the good old days when children that struggled were labeled stupid and lazy. Plenty of dead end jobs for them to waste away in when they hit 14.

Or we could find out how people's brains take in information best and help them reach their potential. Just imagine what children who's needs are met and who understand each others differences could reach.

I don't have ADHD by the way. Never thought I have. I do have dyspraxia and spent my entire school life being told I was lazy and distracted and it was all my fault. But never mind that hey, they are just labels aren't they.

This is the kind of thing that puts me off looking into whether I have it. From being a kid I've been easily overwhelmed, had meltdowns, head banged, self harmed, OCD, struggled with deadlines (fucked my exams up despite being somewhat bright), struggled with punctuality, alcohol, money, reckless behaviour and the list goes on. When i had a ND kid I started to wonder but I feel like an attention seeker for even thinking it.

Oh great! Another neurodivergent bashing thread...

Agree. There's lots of gatekeeping from those who were diagnosed 'before it was cool'

I find this too, it's totally disproportionate to the general population. But then the reason I came onto parenting websites in the first place was because I was looking for guidance on my 2 boys diagnosis. Then i got hooked on other forums like AIBU. I suspect that's the trend for others too.

Better understanding and diagnosis obviously.

Yup, totally agree. I believe it’s totally over diagnosed. I have been offered jobs diagnosing adhd and could earn a pretty penny doing that privately, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I do believe it exists - after all, we all have brains that work in different ways, and I’ve no doubt that a small % of people do have significant difficulty with attention and executive functioning (for eg) that can be considered to be neurobiological in cause.

the same behaviour seen in different people can have multiple different causes.
E.g trauma, attachment issues, parenting, learning difficulties, menopause, stress, mood difficulties, drug misuse, dementia (early stages / early onset). I’m particularly interested in sensory issues and how they may present as adhd like.

Totally understand why someone would want an answer though. And a diagnosis does that.

When I were a lad ADHD hadn't been invented. People were 'highly strung' or 'suffering with their nerves'.

ADHD

Ditto for autism spectrum condition and anxiety disorders. Some suffer dreadfully and others mildly affected.

I think a significant minority of people ARE neurodiverse. If say 5% or 10% of people are ND and most begin to get diagnosed then that is going to look like a HUGE uptick in people being diagnosed… but why is it so out the question that maybe that is the true percentage of people with neurodivergence? It’s still the minority of people. Why are some people set that ND has to be extremely rare?

The thing is, if you look at the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, nearly anyone could be defined as having it if they want.

No, that's not actually true, it's a myth, or you've only looked at part of the criteria. If you run screeners for ADHD on the general population, around 5-8% of people score as likely to have ADHD. If you run those screeners on people with diagnosed ADHD, it's more like 80-90%. (I apologise I do not have accurate numbers because I have ironically lost the ADHD textbook I was planning to check them in).

I'll skip the hyperactive criteria for a moment because they are a mess in adults, they were ported straight from the children's one and they are difficult to interpret because of that, the inattentive ones were too, but it's less of an issue - these are the inattentive criteria (from the DSM) - you need six of these.

• Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or with other activities.
• Often has trouble holding attention on tasks or play activities.
• Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.
• Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (e.g., loses focus, side-tracked).
• Often has trouble organizing tasks and activities.
• Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to do tasks that require mental effort over a long period of time (such as schoolwork or homework).
• Often loses things necessary for tasks and activities (e.g. school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, mobile telephones).
• Is often easily distracted
• Is often forgetful in daily activities.

The "often" is significant; most people can identify with many of these problems some of the time, but it is not the same frequency as somebody with ADHD. In a screening questionnaire for example you would be asked something like "Lose items necessary for tasks and activities: Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Often, Very Often." It is only the items which are scored "Often" or "Very Often" which are considered significant. Most people would score themselves "Rarely" or "Sometimes" for most items on the list.

In addition, there is a requirement that the symptoms cannot be better explained by another disorder (such as depression), that they have been persistent for over six months, that they have been present before the age of 12, (so it's not just burnout from work/modern life) that they affect functioning in multiple settings, and that they are causing impairment.

Causing impairment, again, is significant. Everybody loses things sometimes. Who can ever find a pen? But that isn't an impairment, it's a minor annoyance. If you're constantly losing things that are expensive, hard to replace, that you need daily, that are essential, and you can't keep track of them despite following all the usual tips of trying to keep it in the same place, naming it etc - that's impairment.

Likewise, nobody likes studying or doing housework, but if you have actually failed multiple courses and are on the verge of being kicked out by your landlord because your house is disgusting and you literally can't make yourself do these things even though you have motivation and reason to do them - that's impairment.

It's not very well worded but doctors who are actually trained in assessment will know the difference between the normal "Well yeah housework is boring and effort" and "I literally can't make myself do it, I feel so worthless and I have no idea why nothing works"

So no, not everyone can fit into the diagnostic criteria of ADHD. Yes there are some silly things on tiktok etc, but if you're taking tiktok as the entire gospel truth, rather than entertainment or maybe a suggestion to look into some decent sources, then you're an idiot. Likewise, because ADHD is a current buzzword there are plenty of predatory companies that will prey on people's fears/curiosity and play up the mildest, most relateable symptoms in order to sell you a supplement or a subscription to an app or some kind of course or coaching service. But that doesn't mean that actual doctors who are diagnosing it are using those criteria to diagnose.