To think the use of prostitutes just isn't that big a deal?

I think it's gross, for both the person buying and the person selling. I couldn't enjoy sex I had bought, personally. I just don't see the point.

Honestly, imho, sex isn't the be-all and end-all in life. If you can't find a partner without paying, it's perfectly possible to live a wonderful life without it. But I suspect it's very rare that someone honestly can't find a willing partner, if they're willing to put in the time and effort and aren't too fussed about how a potential partner looks.

Unless someone is forcing you to prostitute yourself, you are choosing to do it, regardless of your circumstances.

Many women are forced to prostitute themselves. That's exactly what pimps do, or do you think pimps are more akin to an agent or promoter? Now, whilst not all prostitutes are pimped, any are. There is no way the punter can possibly know for sure and I doubt many of them give a shit either way.

I thought one of the difference between humans and animals is that they can control their urges.
Nobody is entitled to sex and nobody would die if they never had sex ever, it’s not a medical issue.
Facilitating this interaction for men to treat women as sexual objects starts with the sex chat rooms, through to lap dancing clubs and ends up with prostitution. All of these are bad and these services exist mainly because of the money they produce for this shady and criminal underground industry. Making it legal wouldn’t make it any better. The definition of prostitution is doing something you don’t want in exchange for money. There’s a difference between doing a cleaning job you don’t want and having sex you don’t want in terms of doing something useful, exposure to danger and propagating a very wrong notion.
And think about the global picture, all the sex workers in every single country in the world. Does the picture look different now? Do you still think it’s not a big deal?
I wouldn’t judge a prostitute but I think men who use prostitutes and all the channels leading up to that stage are disgusting and don’t respect women. And some must be so utterly stupid that they refuse to even consider that the woman in question hates doing that work. Worldwide, the overwhelming majority of sex workers are coerced into doing this.

It infuriates me that so many on here refuse to believe that some women enjoy their escort work. Just because it's not something you can envisage there are plenty of women that do. Google Charlotte Rose, the first lady of sex. I've interviewed her she actively loves the work she does. Ditto other escorts
..one was delightfully candid
.said if she was good at flower arranging, she'd be a florist, if she was good at cooking she'd be a chef, as it us she's good at sex, loves it so is an escort. She said "why not get paid for doing something I want to do anyway". The happy hooker is NOT a myth.

But prostitution isnt going to go away so we need to find some answers and ways to make it safer in the interim until we can get it to go away.

As PPs have said - decriminalise the selling of sex and criminalise the buying of it, or what's known as the Nordic model, would be a good start. Along with much better funding for the charities and agencies supporting women to leave prostitution.

Fundamentally, for me, even if there are women who are perfectly happy in their work as prostitutes, it comes down to the fact that men who want to have sex with women who don’t want to have sex with them are basically rapists.

I think it's pretty obvious that OP is a man who buys consent / uses prostitutes and is tying themselves in knots trying to justify it. All a bit awkward really.

Unless someone is forcing you to prostitute yourself, you are choosing to do it, regardless of your circumstances.

So what do you suggest are the other options for women whose childhoods were so chaotic they missed out on a decent education and are now trapped in a cycle of poverty and abuse? For the young East European women trafficked here at 14 who don't even have control of their passports? For the sexual abuse survivors who tried to blot out the horrific memories with drink or drugs and now have an addiction to feed?

Where's your empathy?

Well yes, I suppose it is a choice.
I mean, in the same way that leaping from a three story building cos it's on fire and your exits are blocked is a choice.

Choice is a complicated thing. It's not simple and circumstance free and it certainly doesn't mean you do something because you just love it and it makes you feel great.

Unless someone is forcing you to prostitute yourself, you are choosing to do it, regardless of your circumstances.

No. You don't understand "choice" and what it is. You don't "choose" to do something regardless of your circumstances. You "choose" to do something because of your circumstances.

Think it's you that's "having a laugh"

I don't think it's necessarily morally wrong (though it is under most circumstances), but I do think anyone who uses a prostitute is gross.

I think the reason it seems gross to me is because there is one person 'pretending' to want to have sex, and the other person is enjoying it anyway and really doesn't care that the other person is just pretending. It just seems a bit psychopathic and fucked up.

I don't judge any woman who does it, but I do judge the guys who use them. In my mind they are somehow a bit less human than the rest of us.

Can I make it clear I am in no way pushing for it to be legalised, my comment was more wondering if it would be better for women if it was. And if it isnt then fair enough someone has already pointed out its not working in Amsterdam and I fully take that on board. But prostitution isnt going to go away so we need to find some answers and ways to make it safer in the interim until we can get it to go away.

I just can't possibly understand how a women would want to be a sex worker as a job. You can earn more money having a decent career.

That's quite a naive view of the situation that the majority of women who end up in prostitution are starting from, Butterflyflower. With the very rare exception of the 'happy hooker' who gave up a job as a surgeon to become an escort that at least one person on these threads always seems to know, many women in prostitution have been denied the opportunity of a "decent career" often by chaotic upbringings which interrupted their education or by being trafficked into prostitution before they even reached the age of consent.

Sorry so many typos as I was angry typing.

You are being massively unreasonable.

Watch Louis Theroux’s recent documentary on sex workers.

Your premise is flawed - what did you start with - providing the women have not been trafficked or abused - something like that - newsflash: women in prostitution HAVE BEEN ABUSED. It is a resounding and horrific fact that women in this business have not had a lovely life that led them to this point and choice.

The men using them don’t give a shit.

How can you be so naive?

I honestly have such little respect for any person of uses a prostitute or is indeed a prostitute.

How would any of you feel if your DD said to you 'Mum, when I go up I was to be a sex worker?'. Like wtaf!!

There should be no reason for someone to pay for sex. Yes you might be busy and have no time to date but there are plenty of apps which hook like minded people up who want no strings attached sex.

I just can't possibly understand how a women would want to be a sex worker as a job. You can earn more money having a decent career. You wouldn't run the risk of getting an STI, even condoms don't protect against all STIs. You say you can pick and choose who you sleep with but what happens if you reject someone and they turn aggressive.

Also it's highly unlikely the sex is going to be satisfying. These people paying for sex are clearly selfish and are only interested in their own sexual needs.

I could go on and on about this topic but all I know is it's wrong on every level.

What are the other options if prostitution isn’t the last one?

I never said anything about control @Hihothedairyo. You said that using prostitutes isn't a big deal. You also said you wouldn't want your own daughter to be a prostitute. But if men 'use' prostitutes, then some women have to be prostitutes. Which made me ask the question, if your daughter isn't going to be that prostitute, who is? And if it's not good enough for your daughter, who is it good enough for?

I would never knowingly sleep with (or even be friends with) a man who had used a prostituted woman. Beyond grim.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/3760635-I-am-currently-a-prostitute-AMA

Here’s the ‘I’m a prostitute ask me anything’ thread from last year.

*Prostitution survivor here (mid to late 1990s).

It’s fucking grim and the vast majority of women involved are survivors of childhood sexual assault or are groomed into it by abusive partners or the industry itself.

You are being very naive, rather than unreasonable.*

^This. Because for SA survivors (I am one), sex is something that happens to them rather than something they can choose to have or not. Abuse is all they know, so of course they don't get how degrading prostitution is.

And yes, they probably will say that they chose to be prostitutes.

A lot of these women will have become hooked on drugs as a way to cope with the pain of their past lives. (I've had a long-term issue with alcohol.)

A "bloody" prostitute now.

Your language surrounding this whole thing is disgusting.

Are you actually taking any of the comments in, particularly with regards to choice and consent?