To wonder if a lot of people who are Christians have had a rather nice life?

I describe myself as Christian but am more spiritual in that I believe in a higher power but have no conception of what that is.

Had an abusive childhood and very difficult times during adulthood. I find going to church very peaceful....for me it's about coming together with others who have spiritual leanings and joining together in prayer.

I have a very warped view of the higher power...I feel it is combined human spirit and that we can tap into this as a positive energy.....very woo I know but that's just me

So people really believe inthis stuff or isit just for the social side? I really find it hard to believe that grown ups believe in ot. At what point do they realise fsthrr christmas is made up but they continue to believe ingod?
And the pope miracle thing. Really? People really believe they performed miracles?

I hope you find a better place of peace soon, Stillliving.

FWIW I'm Christian, and on the outside, I might look like I have a nice life - stable family background, university educated, children, decent house etc. I took the online 'check your privilege' test which told me I'm 61% privileged! :)

But if you knew me even a little you'd realise that that's part of who I am - there is some really dark stuff in there too. For me one of my favourite Bible verses is from the Psalms; 'darkness and light are the same to you.' I believe that God is with us in the dark places as well as in the light ones.

stillliving I am sorry things are so tough for you and your frustration has brought more upset to you.
I'm a Christian and more robust than to be offended by this thread. I think perhaps the issue is that those of us fortunate enough to go to University, then to work, live in areas with people the same. And being nice, white and middle class, people may struggle to be open with their struggles and honestly share with each other.

However I was at a Christian day conference recently where there was prayer ministry for those having suicidal thoughts. The leader asked the rest of the auditorium to stand who had previously had suicidal thoughts, come through that time and recovered/ been healed (depending on your brand of church!) There were a couple of thousand women.

So where you are is excruciatingly painful and dark, but it's not anything you have done wrong and it's probably somewhere that so many women in the church, if you went back there, would have been and would understand. I pray things get better for you. Happy to talk via pm (I was just 1 of those 2 thousand women).

I'm a white, degree educated Christian. I'm also a church children's worker on an estate in the bottom 2% of poverty in the country.

For many people I work with, they will express that God is the main "constant" in their lives, especially as lives can be pretty chaotic with housing/family/money problems.

Maybe visit a church on an outer estate or inner city and see if you feel the same.

oh stillliving your post made me sad.

I am a pretty faithless heathen and I don't think I'm going to hell - I'm pretty sure you're not either.

I hope things are better for you today.

OP - I'm sorry you are in "pain". I hope you feel happier as the weekend passes. Perhaps you should start a thread outside aibu about why you are feeling so unhappy so that you might receive some support for how you really are rather than hanging your hat on the wrong hook.

I hope you feel happier soon.

stillliving

I'm sorry you're in a bad way. FWIW, I find it hard to pray too. I don't imagine God as some big invisible person by my side, and my faith isn't something I believe do much as something I do. It allows me space to contemplate, reassure myself, make decisions. I don't worry f I cant pray. I'll read Love III by John Donne instead. Sounds daft, I know, but there it is.

Middle class CofE here.

I have had some bad times, probably worse than some and better than others. Over time, my faith has changed depending on my life circumstances. In bad times it has been a great comfort to me. Yep, I'm sure like many others, I've used religion to get me though. That's kind of the point of it

I find that the people who believe in God and live their life by superstition and make believe tend to do so because they are flawed in some way. usually due to crappy things happening to them, or because of indoctrination by parents or sometimes simply because they are just not very bright so still believe in it in the same way that children believe in father Christmas / fairies.

This sounds a bit too much like the rich Jews one. Did you take your inspiration from that unfortunate thread OP?

I'm a Christian and know a lot of other Christians. Some have been very rich, some middle class and comfortable and many have been as poor as the proverbial church mouse. Many Christians give away 10% of their income. That tends to make them slightly less well of I think.

If you were to take an overall observation of the people who attend my local church in Surrey, you might come to the same conclusion as the OP. Of course, being comfortable economically does not protect against misfortune or pain. I don't think the OP is offensive or a bigot. Quite offensive to say she is in my opinion.

I am sure Jesus would be quite happy to answer her questions without getting all huffy. Yes WWJD?

If the Christians you know are from CU at university then I suspect that has a lot more to do with them being middle class/ white/ stable home backgrounds than anything else.

The Christians I know stay faithful to God through massive challlenges - cancer, bereavement, disability, fainancial troubles, relationship breakdown....I have often thought how amazing they are to cope with all that and to an outsider still be 'together' Some of them have come to faith as a result of these issues, others have had a lifelong faith which the issues have not destroyed.
Of course it may just be that I know more of their stories than I would with the man on the street, and that they have no more crap to deal with than anyone else. I do think to imply that you can only be aChristian if your life is and has always gone swimmingly is pretty naive, even without widening your view outside university acquaintances. lets ignore the rest of the world completely, huh?

LRD most AA meetings have an open meeting about once a month when interested visitors or friends and family of AA members can sit in. The church won't "run" AA meetings as AA is totally independent, but many churches offer their premises for free which is greatly appreciated by AA.

Personally I've found it is much harder to stay faithful when things are going well in life - it can be too easy to get caught up in success, forget its not all of your own making, and to get too busy to attend or help others. When things are tough, in contrast, we instinctively reach out.

I don't think it's bigoted. I think there are are a wide variety of Christians and the ones you have met (OP) are probably not reflective of Christians as a whole.

I am nominally "Christian" (Catholic, though I don't practice) and so are almost all my good friends as we met at our affluent single sex Catholic girls' school. We have had, comparatively speaking, nice lives so far - from upper middle class educated homes with enough money to be clothed and fed and sent to good schools. None of us practice though, apart from the usual hatches, matches and dispatches. We are a self-selecting sample of people likely to be affluent and thus have easier lives. Do we count as Christians? Catholics aren't really happy clappers if that's what you're thinking of.

On the other hand my mum is one of the more devout Catholics I know - mass several times a week, feast days, daily prayers, etc - and she has had some very hard times in her life - her sister died very tragically, her daughter (my sister) died as a child, she's dealt with financial problems her whole life plus various other sadnesses. Despite this, she's never questioned her faith and it has been a crutch to her. I'm not sure this is a good thing.

Substitute the word Christian with Muslim. Would you have posted this? Am I the only one disappointed to hear such a bigoted view?

It's a very ill informed OP. In general evidence suggests that (with the exception of the US) the more wealthy and educated the country the higher the rates of atheism/non belief. [[https://humanism.org.uk/2009/07/29/news-332/ This]] article talks about the close relationship between poverty and religion, and it's not really that surprising. It's relatively easy to not believe if you feel control over your life (a bit of an illusion but there we go), whereas if you have little control it can be comforting to think that someone is on your side and that your next life will be better than this one.

In the UK research is now showing that it's the traditional white middle class type of churches that are in decline, whereas it's in ethnic minority and urban communities that there is expansion. Given wealth patterns that means that the 'comfortable' people are much less likely t be active church goers.

Oh and on a personal front my siblings and I (who are white and middle class, private schools, university etc etc) were brought up to be Christians. Only my sister is still a Christian (very active too) and she has had by far the most difficulties in her life. The rest of us are atheists. I'm sure many would think on the surface that we all had 'nice lives'. My lovely ex SIL does not meet any of your criteria and has had a great many challenges to overcome but is also religious. On the grounds of my family I could come to completely the opposite assumption, but like your experience it is purely anecdote and therefore quite meaningless.

Yabu. Like another poster said, every one has their problems.

I think you can never know. Being well-off financially, or appearing middle-class or even just always looking sunny reveals nothing in terms of one's basic happiness. My mum is quite religious and, whilst she has a "nice" life now, she went through some very hard times in her younger days: poverty, sexual abuse, loss of a parent very young, loss of a sibling. You'd never know any of that to see to her now. You'd think her very jolly-hockey, WI, tea with the vicar.

Erm....no.

One of my friends has a two year old son who almost died last year but thankfully had a successful liver transplant. Another friends Mum had a riding accident and broke her back and is now in a wheelchair for life.

They were both brought up in Christian households and have always continued going to church before, during and after these events. I wouldn't say they've had an easy time of it at all, but I think their faith has helped a little bit.

*they became

ha!

the people you met probably had a nice life.

but there are people who live in very poor countries, oppressed, even tortured & prosecuted because of their faith.

people who are in prison because of serious crimes - they because Christians after they did horrible deeds.

and so the list goes on.

no, the more you suffer the more you need Jesus