Four events this week at school during working hours…

That what resilient children from loving families do. They know what's possible and what's not possible, they are confident enough in themselves, they know parents have to work will occasionally not be able to attend an event, and they know work brings other benefits that they love.

At a small school you could be present throughout their day. In the playground, passing in the hall. Each and every day. Most TAs at my DC's school stay with the same year group so you would have spent a whole year with each child. Rather than sitting at home waiting for them to catch their yearly sickness bug. My point is that there are plenty of ways you could improve your children's life and be active in their life, but choose not to. Yet here you are claiming to be mother of the year.

I think that’s unfair to the PP.

When my DC’s were in primary I didn’t attend any day events, I did for upper primary as they were in the evening. Not long ago DD (15) was looking through pics and found one of her in Yr 2 okaying the ukele at the summer concert (MIL went). She cant even remember holding a ukele let alone being in a concert! I think sometimes it’s parents placing too much importance on events rather than the children’s experience.

I get all my cleaning, laundry, ironing, gardening, car washing, shopping, care of elderly relatives, own appointments and substantial counselling volunteering for vulnerable people done when mine are at school. That frees up my time for them when they are at home, working through their school’s enormous home work and project list, setting up play activities, reading with them, taking them to the park/swimming pool after school, having friends over for tea, dropping them off at clubs, picking them up, etc. Evening time is for my husband and I to enjoy together, not chores. Making time for my marriage is way more important to me.

Oh everything’s always unfair to working mums, but they go about disparaging SAHMs. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take the truth back.

It's not the truth - it's simply your opinion.

I’m sure DT’s have lovely childhood memories of seeing lions and tigers up close on a safari in Kenya, or seeing the Terracotta Army in China which we could afford because of us both working rather than anything negative if we’d missed a ‘look at my classroom’ school visit.

What truth - so far you have only described negatives of being a SAHP.

Well for a lifestyle you find so negative, you are certainly obsessed on here with it, jumping in on any thread relating to it! I always find it hilarious how triggered some women are by a housewife 😂

Have you actually spent time googling another poster to see their search history?! 😂 If you've got to that stage then I would recommend stepping away from this thread as it's obviously getting to you, and get back to interacting with your children - they must be missing you by now, given the time you've spent on this thread.

Of course not, I’m far too thrifty to pay for premium search options like that! 😂

You don't have to - google is free.

So, how do you know what threads that poster has posted on and what her posts say?

And more importantly, why have you spent so much time on here when you could be playing and interacting with your children?

The only thing I’m obsessive about is my family and the dog. We’ve flown over to see DT’s this weekend and DD is reading this thread. I’m reassured by her comments that she intends to continue with her career when she and her boyfriend decide to have a baby.

I have a good memory and recognise certain usernames who crop up regularly on threads.

Ha, it’s Saturday, so they’re Dad is home 😂

But I agree, I feel we’ve exhausted this chat for now, so I’ll say goodbye.

Course you do 😂

You're doing the right thing after posting a lot over the last 2 days. Bye.

Yes. Aside from actual parent consultations/ 1:1 parents' evening, these events are for fund raising, media profile, OFSTED/ box ticking and to entertain and please a certain kind of parent (like Nigel), not actually for the children - and they certainly don't have any long term educational value.

As a teacher, I will blame Ofsted for the ever increasing events to tick the “school/parent engagement” box or the “enrichment” box. I agree. There are many other ways to enrich a child’s life than “come and see me put a tin of beans in a box for Harvest festival”. I never felt guilty missing events as I felt fortunate to spend the holidays with DCs and travel but I know colleagues who do, and they shouldn’t because in 10 years time their DCs won’t remember wearing the sheet for Roman Day.

I’ve literally come back to the thread to post an almost identical message!

I don’t want to build a fucking model city. When homework is to research and download stuff from the internet and put it in a presentation, it’s more than a bit of parental oversight of a six year old.

Don't do it.
Write a letter (with a copy for either the HOY or HT) telling them you don't allow your child unsupervised access to the internet at the age of 6, and that doing the work for the child won't really make them learn anything in the school holidays.
Your child needs the break from school work just as much as the teacher.

I don't know where the school you worked in was, but in the school I work in there are never performances where no parents turn up, and I work in Y6 by which point the children are more likely to have both parents working than reception children.

I was a sahp and am now back working in education and I strongly believe that these events are largely unnecessary and should not take place during the school day. It's upsetting for kids when their parents can't attend and it makes parents feel guilty when they are at work and trying to provide for their dc.

It often makes no difference how much notice is provided - there are certain jobs where there is no chance of being given time off. Or parents have to save annual leave to cover their child's illnesses and school holidays. I feel it's box ticking instead of putting the children first, since there are always kids who don't have anyone there. Why make them sad when there's very little need for parents to be present during the school day? We have plenty of time to see what our dc are doing at school by attending parents evenings and the nativity. That's enough imo.

You’d think schools would understand availability of parents. According to Gov.Uk

73% of families with children aged 0–14 had either both parents working or a working lone parent.

And plan accordingly and give plenty of notice to allow as many parents or alternative adults to attend as possible. If they actually need to have them in the first place, that is.

Either you’re talking rubbish or your DH is lying to you about what he earns.

He is apparently a full time teacher on UPS1 based on this thread.

The pay rate for a UPS1 teacher outside London this year is £49k. Its very easily checked. If he’s in the outer London banding then it’s more.

Half term craft projects are an utter waste of time for the children and their parents. It’s busy work that adds nothing to a child’s learning.