Page 8 | Is it horrible to make ds walk

Whyohwhy99 · 2026-09-06T15:47:16+00:00

Am I horrible making ds walk for 40 mins to and from school because I want to avoid the bus?

bettyrubble99 · Yesterday 19:23

Oh lord no. Not with a SEN child.
A 40mins walk there AND back for you in the pissing down rain / wind / snow soon. Even if he can change at school, what a miserable way to start to the day.

Then you have to do it all over again at home time. You will be doing almost 3hrs of walking every day, in the worst weathers we have soon.
What happens if he needs collecting in an emergency? That's another 40mins of traipsing up to the school or will you have money for a taxi?
I'm forever grateful i have a driving licence and a car. I remember my mum always having to negotiate and navigate travel to / from school because she couldn't drive and I hated it.

opalfruits76 · Yesterday 19:24

You need to face your issues

bekindtome · Yesterday 19:24

My DS’s SEN school offers travel training. I would talk to the school; ours is very helpful with parents’ needs as well as dc needs.
I don’t think the walk is too bad if you can both manage it. Winter might not be nice, though.

BeardySchnauzer · Yesterday 19:27

I think getting home might be the bigger issue if he is tired

ForEdgyHare · Yesterday 19:27

It can take about 35mins to walk to dd primary school. We usually drive it. We sometimes walk in the summer with the dog if I have a busy work day or if its bike/scooter day at school. I guess it depends on how old etc. Also if it was raining or very cold would you be making them walk? As Id not do that

BruFord · Yesterday 19:28

You will be doing almost 3hrs of walking every day, in the worst weathers we have soon.

@bettyrubble99 I think you've misread the time, it's 40 mins each way so 1hr 20 minutes total. It sounds as if he's fine with it, despite his SEN. I agree that it shouldn't be done in bad weather.

GaaNeen · Yesterday 19:28

You aren’t being horrible
but
you are being complacent
it is your anxiety problem
use a graded exposure strategy to overcome this
it would be horrible to make him walk for nearly two miles in pissing down rain, icy cold winter days when he could be sat on a bus
for what - 15 mins ? And get to school dry -

you don’t need to wait ‘for the next step’
you practice your breathing, make a plan and get off your arse and do the work

BeardySchnauzer · Yesterday 19:29

BruFord · Yesterday 19:28

You will be doing almost 3hrs of walking every day, in the worst weathers we have soon.

@bettyrubble99 I think you've misread the time, it's 40 mins each way so 1hr 20 minutes total. It sounds as if he's fine with it, despite his SEN. I agree that it shouldn't be done in bad weather.

I think they meant for the OP as she takes him to school

BruFord · Yesterday 19:31

BeardySchnauzer · Yesterday 19:29

I think they meant for the OP as she takes him to school

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@BeardySchnauzer Ah, didn't think about that. That IS a lot of time out of her day, although she'd be in great shape :-) Sorry @bettyrubble99, I was focusing on her son.

Sitow · Yesterday 19:33

I would try to commit to getting on the bus with ds several times a week (fixed days) not just to make it easier on him, but with social anxiety (I have it too) one of the worst things you can do is avoid the thing, get some noise cancelling headphones and basically face the fear repeatedly. It will be good for both of you and it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing, twice a week do the bus, walk the other days

Mommydearest40 · Yesterday 19:36

My 7 year old has walked 20 minutes each way to our nearest public transport every school day for the last year with no issues. She actually loves that time and chats away happily.

Claireabella111 · Yesterday 19:37

would be manage the bus alone?

MsPrufrockk · Yesterday 19:38

Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 17:35

I am seeking help. But it takes time. It doesn't happen overnight. Im waiting for the next step

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You were very adament in one of your other threads that your issues don't affect your children...

But this shows that's not the case.

VioletSeagull · Yesterday 19:42

You don't need to actually verbalise your fears for your children to internalise them. Even if you never say why you avoid the bus, they can feel your anxiety and it may well be passed on to them.

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 19:43

I would say that yes it is. You are the one with the issue but he is suffering the consequences.

How much would a daily uber cost?

Fupoffyagrasshole · Yesterday 19:45

Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 18:57

He would be allowed to change at school if need be.

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I cycle to work and drop my kids in the rain on bike or walk to school and nursery every day - nobody takes a bus or car to my kids school - it’s a school street so you literally can’t drive near the school - and the nearest bus stop is ages away - everyone lives in 15/20 minute walk

no matter the weather we all manage - you can get decent rain gear and wellies and umbrellas exist.

MrsJeanLuc · Yesterday 19:45

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:00

You think the strangers kid should walk 40 minutes because your child willingly did it? Odd.

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Don't be ridiculous. The poster is presenting her viewpoint, that's what these threads are for.

Hobnobswantshernameback · Yesterday 19:46

Let's watch as this poor kids attendance drops off a cliff

LlynTegid · Yesterday 19:46

OK as the main plan, as long as you have a plan B for wet weather, after school activities, detention (if it happens).

tommyhoundmum · Yesterday 19:47

Is it 40 minutes each way? How many miles?

thegrumblingkitten · Yesterday 19:51

YABU

SkinnyCigarette · Yesterday 19:52

Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 17:59

I don't mind doing the walk. Its just boring. At some point he will be able to do it. Build his confidence. Practice help him look for check points do it slowly bit by bit. Not yet though .

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You’re coming across as very selfish.

You find the walk “boring” and you don’t like public transport. However, your son clearly needs support. So you need to pick one. One for his benefit, not yours.

It’s clear you have some mental health and confidence issues, but when you become a parent you need to put the welfare and best interests of your child before your own.

Original poster

Whyohwhy99 · Yesterday 19:52

GaaNeen · Yesterday 19:28

You aren’t being horrible
but
you are being complacent
it is your anxiety problem
use a graded exposure strategy to overcome this
it would be horrible to make him walk for nearly two miles in pissing down rain, icy cold winter days when he could be sat on a bus
for what - 15 mins ? And get to school dry -

you don’t need to wait ‘for the next step’
you practice your breathing, make a plan and get off your arse and do the work

It takes long to bus its 2 buses plus waiting.

Also I do understand what people are saying about anxiety. But I can't just fix it. I have recently been to the GP which took alot. We are looking into social anxiety autism adhd. It feels like people are saying get help and a button is pressed and its fixed . It takes time.

OP posts:

cramptramp · Yesterday 19:55

If everyone on here said you were being unreasonable to make him walk that distance, what would you do?

allthingsinmoderation · Yesterday 19:55

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Is it horrible to make ds walk

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