Is it horrible to make ds walk

When I was 12 I used to walk to school which took about the same amount of time. I did it so I could save my 8p a day bus fare. I walked home most days too

My son on a nice day walks the 50 mins to school, if he wants to get there quicker he cycles
Ive offered him bus fare and he chooses to make his own way there and keep the bus fare.
On our estate most of the kids walk or cycle to the secondary schools, the nearest is a 40 minute walk, the others are a similar walk in the opposite direction, none are closer by. They seem to walk/cycle in groups even when raining.

Unless you deliberately go out running in it. Then it gives you super immune powers.

He's going into yr7. Of course he can walk it. Or he can get the bus himself. Kids get buses/ trains/ bikes where i work. My own dc had a 30 minute walk.

Ds less than 30, because he was usually late and had to run most of it.

How has he been getting there and back so far?

It all depends on the route he has to walk.
If its high traffic, he has sen and is not familiar with the route or not particularly used to walking to school on his own, then yes - it would be an issue in his first term at secondary school. The first term is a challenge in its own right.

If its a walk without many difficult crossings, or its straight forward enough for him not to get lost , and he feels confident about it. Then maybe.

But there's not enough information.

But as I recall only too well, the first few weeks of secondary schools, there were several mishaps on the journey until they got used to it.. then they had to get used to dark mornings and evenings and bad weather.

Its a lot of pressure in itself when there's a bus available.

I think it’s weather dependent but if it’s very cold or wet I think it would be unfair to make him walk

I thinknits fine as long as it isn't raining heavily. I love walking and thinks it's good in so many ways. I also hate getting the bus. Could you manage if the weather was terrible? Especially in the mornings? I think it would be awful for him to be in wet clothes all day.

He may well “catch” her anxiety

I'm more worried he'll constantly catch cold!

Lots of people love to say being cold and wet in cold weather doesn't make you catch a cold, it's a virus etc etc, and yes it is a virus, but being cold and wet makes you more susceptible to those viruses. It just does. Mums have known this for decades and even the research is coming back round to this view.

Walking is fantastic for them... in the current weather and you are right to consider doing the route to help him get used to the route and the difficult to navigate bits, and you could see how long it takes him in reality.

However, what if he wants to do an after schools club in the winter, with all his baggage. DC these days have so much to take to school and back.. Fridays pm and Mondays am, are always heavy duty days, with all their weekend text books.. (science text books for eg.). and lap tops, plus PE kit...etc.

If his brother is willing to escort him initially on the bus - that is his best bet. There's probably still quite a bit of a walk to the bus stop and then at the other end... and they do run around at lunchtime.

But if you are set on him walking, can you get him some form of back pack/with wheels, because there is a lot of research on the adverse effect of heavy school back packs can have.

He may well “catch” her anxiety because OP will not be able to hide her dislike of these sorts of situations and if she doesn’t make herself do it anyway that reasoning - that crowds/people are scary and you should go significantly out of your way to avoid, will get passed on.

Parental mental health conditions that are not well managed rank up there with addiction for the negative impact on children’s lives. (Also really bad impact on the sufferers life). And the way to overcome anxiety and stop it escalating is to not allow it to dictate your choices. OP says she’s getting treatment so hopefully she will realize this soon and gain tools she can use to overcome. But it’s important she isn’t fed a false narrative that it doesn’t really matter - it does.

But they will obviously be wet for several lessons. OP hasn’t answered any questions about her son’s needs as that’s not what she’s thinking about here. But there may be a reason why she’s wondering if walking is horrible.

op, if it wasn't for your social anxiety would you take him on the bus? In which case, yes, you are being unfair. Your problem is now affecting your child. It's time to get to grips with it. And I think you are kidding yourself if you think your anxiety is not being transmitted to your child - children pick up a lot that isn't said.

I don't think it's the amount of exercise so much as the need to do it in all weathers and regardless of how tired he is. Sometimes my dc are exhausted after school - and no they are not obese. Children just do everything high energy so by late afternoon they are often feeling it.

It's all very well to say a bit of rain won't hurt them, but it's summer now and, while a spattering of drizzle is fine, walking though a downpour when it's also cold isn't healthy. It's also distracting to sit cold and wet in class.

I would expect an 11 year old to walk, simply because that's a perfectly reasonable walk, nothing to do with 'avoiding the bus'.

My ds walked 35 mins to school and my dds walked 45 mins to school (sometimes they chose to add on an extra distance to go via friends' houses). It has been normal routine for them throughout school and set them up for adult life being independent and happy to walk reasonable distances to places.
They enjoyed the 'decompressing' by chatting with friends on the way home, as well as benefitting from the fresh air and exercise.

It is worrying that people think this is a shocking distance for secondary school dc to walk.

My SEN child has a taxi to avoid the bus. He shares it with 2 other SEN children, a driver, and a passenger assistant ( one of the other kids has a history of bolting).

I think your problems are 1) the school bag and 2) by around lunchtime he’ll be much more tired than the rest of his class and potentially done if you know what I mean

That's rather dramatic. I don't think he's going to catch her anxiety because he walks to school. No one would tell someone who has a car to get the bus instead so they don't pass on social anxiety to their child.

What would happen if you forced yourself to take the bus for his sake?

I think it's fine. If it's not fine, he'll moan enough that you'll realise it's not fine.

Depending on SEN, it could be a really good thing. For my ASD kid, the walk to/from school is perfect to decompress

What does he think about it?

Also no need to have a fixed rule - when the weather is good you can walk. If it is horrid or anyone feels under the weather then hop on the bus.