Is it horrible to make ds walk

Check if your local council has travel training for SEN.

Our trainer rocked up 7.30 each morning, and got them to school, then brought them home.

They were fully trained in a few weeks.

They were calm, friendly and professional...it was actually life changing for me to not be tied to doing the school run!

Some children are stronger than others - both mentally and physically.

I had a 45 minute walk to school every day when I was 11. It was a bit rubbish on rainy or snowy days, other than that it was fine. It’s probably better to walk than deal with crowded buses and all the sensory issues with that for you both. It’ll be ok

It's not cruel. It's just life. And part and parcel of many people's lives, until they can drive.
I didn't like walking to the bus stop, freezing waiting for the bus, being bullied on the bus.... but there was no other way to get to school. Pretty sure my dc didn't like walking to school either, but it was a 20 minute walk to the nearest bus stop, then a 15 minute walk from bus stop to school, so walking was the only real option.

Haven't rtft so apologies if someone else has suggested, but have you thought about/are you able to cycle? Under two miles would take you barely 10 minutes - good for you both fitness/health wise like walking but much more convenient time wise!

To be honest, I think it's unfair. It adds a huge amount onto the school day, and with him being SEN, is time at home to wind down from the day not even more important than normal?

Yes, ok, so some children might have to walk that distance when there's no other option. But you have an option. There is a bus.

@RampantIvy yeah I thought I recognised the lady from previous posts. Thanks for the reply x

Yes it is. She is seeking help, but the process is slow.

Is s/he happy to walk? My son would have been ok to walk at 11 but if s/he finds it arduous put them on the bus and let them get off and walk the short distance to school

Thanks, that does explain it, and I can understand better now.

@Batties is this the lady that was struggling with the gas safety check??

Ah, yes, I can see that.

This, it’s very sad when a parent puts their wants and needs above their children’s, but mn loves it, and berates anyone who doesn’t hold the “happy mum happy kids” view, even if that means the kids life is fucked over!

Yes. It is horrible. If you’re big enough to have children, you’re big enough to take the bus. It seems like every third poster can’t do something because of “social anxiety”.

Yes that is unreasonable, and yes your children will be very aware of your MH issues.

wocial anxiety isn’t the most logical of things but when I was at my worst I wouldn’t go on any public transport or to a shop or anything I’d stay at home and walk my dog at like 3am, you are essentially (in your social anxiety mind) trapped in a space where people could (logically it’s not going to happen but again it isn’t logical) talk to you, look at you, judge you and your mind goes through a thousand different scenarios of what could happen. That’s why exposure really is the best therapy as you get on a bus with your headphones and then nothing happens pretty much over and over again and the fear starts to subside.

Probably the fact that you can’t immediately escape at any time. When the bus is moving you are unable to exit if something happens until the bus stops.

No, I don't think it sounds horrible. I think it sounds like you're doing the best you can at a difficult time in your life whilst trying to work through it - that's all any of us can do really.

If it gets really awful in mid-winter then you can take a new decision based on the circumstances then. It doesn't have to be a fixed decision forever.

Just do what you can do for now and build up to it when you can. You sound like you really care about your DS and are considering him.

Yes, you are being unreasonable. I am also a disabled parent - as are many of us- but I make sure to always put my children's needs first. Your child is at a sen school and although you're downplaying that (and his struggles) he needs a school day that doesn't include an 80 minute round trip. He needs the bus.

So you can do it?

what happened that first day after you’d bussed there?

This is genuinely not a criticism but an attempt to understand: what is scary about the bus?

I can understand public speaking or even a dinner party where you might feel put on the spot in a conversation etc, but surely on a bus you just walk on ignoring everyone, sit down not needing to interact, then get off?

Clearly there is something the triggers anxiety, but I'm finding it hard to understand which bit of the bus trip is the trigger.

It is cruel. No child will enjoy walking 2 miles in gloomy cold and wet weather.

I sometimes think I live in an alternate universe but making a child walk 40 mins twice a day is harsh. Conflating it with obesity doesn't remove the fact that it is brutal and unnecessary. The competitive chorus on here of 'my kid walks 50 minutes' doesn't make it right either.

Kids can do exercise in more enjoyable ways instead of being forced on a miserable trek to school every morning.

OP Yes, it's horrible.

Absolutely nothing wrong with a 40 min walk to and from school. We all use cars/vehicles too easily and it's a great habit to get into, if you have the time of course.

You need to get help for your anxiety though, which it sounds like you are. I hope it helps.