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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

My Princess Boy read to year 6

50 replies

TheSteveMilliband · 08/03/2019 12:16


Link with book - short YouTube clip.
This was read to a yr 6 class as part of no outsiders.
Meant to promote tolerance. Interested in thoughts. I'm uncomfortable with certain aspects but trying to pin it down so thought I'd ask the wise women of FWR.
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Melroses · 08/03/2019 12:23

It's not really about gender non-conforming - it is still playing heavily on the 'girl' stereotypes with wanting pink and sparkly 'girls clothes' and hair bands and stuff.

It is about conforming to another box, whilst validating the system of boxes.

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TheSteveMilliband · 08/03/2019 14:27

Thanks Melrose's - that's exactly it. "Girl toys" and "girly dresses". Dad "tells him how pretty he looks in his dress"
"Girls clothes" "girls things".
It really does reinforce all those gender stereotypes and messages.

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TheSteveMilliband · 08/03/2019 14:33

Which incidentally I've been drumming into my boys is rubbish. Especially with gnc ds2 who spreads the message. It's so insidious though I'm not sure he would pick up on it in that book.

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Moominfan · 08/03/2019 14:35

I'm conflicted, I love the idea that we move away from girls and boys stereotypes. This kind of does, he's a boy regardless but then it's the labelling of glittery girls clothes. Small step in the right direction

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ZuttZeVootEeeVro · 08/03/2019 14:42

Isn't it a bit childish for year 6?

It would be better if the author just talks about dresses and pink, rather than reinforcing the idea that these are girls clothes. Lots and lots of girls, particularly by year 6, don't like to wear pink, don't want to be called Princess and pretty. But at least he is seen as a boy by the author, regardless of what he wears.

When my dad was 10/11 she would have been insulted to be reading a story with such an obvious message.

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zanahoria · 08/03/2019 14:49

It sounds hideous. Can't kids just be read stories with a range of male and female characters without making it so obviously preachy, not least because those sort of tales are rarely interesting.

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ZuttZeVootEeeVro · 08/03/2019 14:57

I've just being giving this a little bit more thought.

It would be a good book for children aged 4 or 5. But in my experience, very young children just dress up and are not so gender conforming anyway. When my children were young I didn't see any bullying of this nature.

Show this book to 10 year olds and of course they are going to say little children should wear what they want. To a ten year old, a four year old is a baby.

It would have been better to have a book with an older child, maybe early teens wearing gender non conforming cloths. And then asked the children to react. How would they treat a boy who wore pink nail varnish, or a girl who wore a football kit?

The biggest problem I have with this book is the difference in the age of the boy in the story and the age of the readers.

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ZuttZeVootEeeVro · 08/03/2019 14:59

Can't kids just be read stories with a range of male and female characters without making it so obviously preachy

I agree. It's very preachy.

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TheSteveMilliband · 08/03/2019 15:07

Well quite re the age range. The kids take home was "why were they reading us a picture book written for little children"
Don't think I'd be happy having it read to young children either though - think as Melrose's says it's reinforcing gender boxes. Wouldn't be at all surprised if the follow up was My Princess Girl as he likes girl stuff so much. Maybe more sensitive too with ds2 who loves glitter and unicorns

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NeurotrashWarrior · 08/03/2019 15:08

We used to cover Bills New Frock in y3 literacy ffs. By Anne Fine, a chapter book.

Bill wakes up one day any every one treats him like a girl; he gets to learn what it's like. v good for discussing stereotypes.

I'm starting to realise there's very little that covers this area well. You do just need to challenge stereotypes and celebrate individuality at this age; Moffat doesn't seem to be getting this from what I've seen.

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Imnobody4 · 08/03/2019 17:25

Yuck - a crime against children's literature. Give me Princess Smartypants by Babette Cole any day. Princes can wear pink -reject sex stereotypes now.

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morningtoncrescent62 · 08/03/2019 17:38

It's not one of the worst books for children I've seen doing the rounds. Not in the same league as I am Jazz, for instance, or Who Are You. But I wouldn't have wanted it read to mine when they were that age, for all the reasons already said, and also it's a really bad book. Awful prose, a contrived narrative and zero storyline. I can't work out who its audience is supposed to be - in places it reads as if it's preaching to other parents, not aimed at children at all.

Luckily my kids grew up before all this woke nonsense was around. When they were in P6 they had The Turbulent Term of Tyke Tiler which was the perfect way to learn about gender stereotyping.

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BernardBlacksWineIcelolly · 08/03/2019 18:05

It seems cruel to spend 6 years teaching children to read chapter books and then read this to them

and I hate the idea that it reinforces that there are girls clothes and girls colours

the examples people have given above show that there are books with literary merit available that give a much more nuanced view of gender non conformity

if there's good quality literature available why did the school pick a shit, simplistic book?

I think that's probably the line I would take if I were going to complain (and I'd probably have a word with the head at least if that was read to my DS).

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NeurotrashWarrior · 08/03/2019 19:26

if there's good quality literature available why did the school pick a shit, simplistic book?

It's no outsiders I think. He's looked for books and writes a lesson plan.

Teachers are too exhausted to do their own research plus it's an applauded programme.

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EdtheBear · 08/03/2019 19:38

Its grim on so many levels.

Could they not find a proper book with the opposite of Famous Fives George?
Def needs to be books and films with boys who are non gender confirming.

Boyish girl = tomboy, perfectly acceptable
Girlish boy = sissie or jessie, not so acceptable needs to change

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Mrsfrumble · 08/03/2019 19:47

The Turbulent Term of Tyke Tyler is a great book! I remember reading it as a class when I was in year 6 or 7 and everyone gasping in unison at the twist. A much better option for introducing the notion of gender non-conformity to that age group, I would think.

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donquixotedelamancha · 08/03/2019 20:38

Yeah, not keen either. I think breaking down boundaries works better when it's subtle. It's about showing those boundaries don't need to exist, or subverting them.

This book seems to be more about being different as a goal, rather than a normal part of life. It focuses on the parent's feelings and doesn't seem age appropriate.

I would not, however, complain. It's not wildly inappropriate and the teachers are trying.

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TheSteveMilliband · 08/03/2019 22:18

May be overthinking, but not only does it reinforce gender boxes, it also emphasises negative stereotypes of girls and positive of boys. So girls are superficial, like glitter and frills and goal is to be pretty (attractive to men). Boyish big brother playing football which demonstrates team work, leadership, competitiveness.

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TheSteveMilliband · 08/03/2019 22:20

Am going to buy tyke tyler!

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learieonthewildmoor · 09/03/2019 17:12

A colleague read this to her class of 4 year olds. The kids were very concerned that people were not kind to the boy, and said he should be able to dress up how he wanted. However, the girls were adamant he couldn’t be a princess. He could dress up as a princess, but he couldn’t be a princess. That belongs to girls.
I am not convinced being a princess is a sex-based right, but I was impressed by their understanding of gender as a performance. Grin

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EdtheBear · 09/03/2019 20:51

I can see where the kids are coming from, a princess is the female child of a monarch (in line to throne) a male child would be a prince.

They maybe don't know the detail but they recognise that only a girl can have a female title.

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ElizabethMainwaring · 10/03/2019 07:27

Tyke Tyler is brilliant!

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Sunkisses · 02/04/2019 07:22

OP are you in Hampshire? My school's head said that Hampshire County Council trained all the Hampshire schools with the No Outsiders programme, and this book was included in it. My DD (year 6) had this book read to her, and she (independently of me) thought it was incredibly sexist and weird ('girl's clothes', 'girl's things', girls are pretty, girl's dance, 'girly dresses'). Her (male) friend could not understand why they were having a weird pre-school book read to them when they are 10-11.

No Outsiders have totally drank the KoolAid, and push trans ideology and dogma in schools, and make you feel like you are 'not inclusive' and 'mean' if you question this illogical and cultish faith-based queer theory ideology. Here is one of the No Outsiders trans lesson plans, promoting bizarre, postmodern, queer theory about 'gender identity': equalitiesplans.blogspot.com/2015/10/transgender-equality-are-you-boy-or-are.html

No Outsiders are totally dodgy - pushing dogma and sexism, masquerading as 'inclusivity'.

I was furious as schools are supposed to consult and inform parents about SRE (sex and relationships education), yet this bizarre book was read to my DD's class with no warning to parents.

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Ereshkigal · 02/04/2019 08:41

Wow. That lesson plan.

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LangCleg · 02/04/2019 09:00

We used to cover Bills New Frock in y3 literacy ffs. By Anne Fine, a chapter book.

Bill wakes up one day any every one treats him like a girl; he gets to learn what it's like. v good for discussing stereotypes.

Exactly. No need for identity (especially when it reinforces stereotypes). Simple discussion that stereotypes are bad and everyone can like what they want to like.

Moffat doesn't seem to be getting this from what I've seen.

I think he gets it very well. He's an evangelist and he has a very specific agenda. It's as instructive what his "teaching the Equality Act to primary age children" programme excludes as what it includes.

Go through all the lesson plans and find me one single activity that supports the protected characteristic of sex, that teaches girls how to assert and maintain boundaries and boys how to respect them. Since we're currently in an epidemic of boy on girl (not peer on peer) sexual assaults even at primary level, you'd have thought a teacher passionate about equality would include this. Moffat has not.

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