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Stonewall training

(13 Posts)
SecretTerf Sat 24-Feb-18 14:12:01

Just wanting some advice, really.

I work for a large organisation in a reasonably senior role and have some HR responsibility. Recently my boss was contacted by a gay man who works for us who asked about arranging some Stonewall training on LGBT issues. The boss gave him the go ahead to arrange a pilot session with the possibility of rolling it out more widely.

My boss, whom I like and respect, then asked me if I would go along to the pilot training session and report back. He knows I am a lesbian and that might well be why. I was non-committal about it but the next thing I knew I had an email from the trainer saying I was booked in and asking about my dietary requirements for the day.

The training is in a few weeks' time and I'm quite torn. Firstly I'm sad that I feel so awful about going because I know I will be faced with a load of trans bollocks, when I remember working with Stonewall several years ago when they were an organisation I strongly respected and supported.

I don't know whether to go or not. If I go I think I'll end up getting into arguments about the trans stuff and this might end up being fed back to people I work with. I'm lucky in that I doubt this would be career-ending or even career-damaging for me, but it would hurt some relationships I value.

On the other hand, going might give me the chance to feed back to my bosses about the training and whether it is suitable to be rolled out - if it's too nuts I have a chance to stop it.

There's no real pressure on me to go or not, by the way, I can easily say no. I just wondered what others thought.

Babdoc Sat 24-Feb-18 14:20:51

Surely it’s important to go, a) to find out what misinformation they’re promulgating, and b) to have a chance to argue with it?
And as you mention, to assess the suitability (or not) of this stuff for your organisation to roll out.
If you don’t go, you won’t know what rubbish is being touted unchecked!
Although I can fully understand why, as a lesbian, you’d feel wary of extremist trans activists trying to bully lesbians into accepting “females with penises” as potential partners. I’m an old straight feminist, and I’ve been horrified at the way the trans brigade have tried to hijack women’s and gay’s rights.
If you DO go, let us know how it went!

Patodp Sat 24-Feb-18 14:24:56

I'm really sorry you are feeling pushed into this.
Although I would urge you to go.

Bring preparation with you, expect a Transgenderhood 101 and have some stock comments prepared about how Stonewall exclude lesbians... I'm sure you know more than me I've only heared on social media what you've possibly experienced.

But only if you can stomach it!

It might be an opportunity to bring up the misinformation being given to companies by trans activists such as use of using loos for the opposite sex, which breach the equality act, and an opportunity to encourage your employer to brush up on the exemptions in the equality act that permit them to exclude ppl with a GRC from certain spaces if it's necessary...

But I guess at least they're trying to be lgbt inclusive which is a very good thing!

smithsinarazz Sat 24-Feb-18 14:33:37

Yep, go! Be brave, sister. The risk is that if you don't, someone else will go along, swallow their line whole and come back pontificating about how penises can be female. May the force be with you.

cromeyellow0 Sat 24-Feb-18 14:45:19

I think it would be very valuable to know what Stonewall are saying in these training sessions. As far as I can tell, Stonewall has played a crucial role in making transactivism legitimate and mainstream, and so understanding their approach would be helpful.

Is your organization paying for this training? A third of Stonewall's income comes from fees (£2.3m out of 7m) and so I'm curious to know who is paying these fees.

shedalight Sat 24-Feb-18 14:49:39

If you can face it, go. If it is LGBT training then arguably the majority of the time should be spent on LGB issues with the T issues being a proportionate part. The most important thing is, it's a pilot so feedback should be expected.
Having said that, it's not up to LGB people to have to lead the complaints about the homophobia, gaslighting and silencing inherent in the T propaganda. Take notes and take away copies of all handouts. If it's a powerpoint ask for a copy to make notes on in the session. Then if you don't feel able to challenge during the session, you can perhaps do it afterwards if you think it's right.

Having said all that, I find it unbelievable that a once highly respected organisation has got itself into such a position that our assumption is that it will be peddling untruths, lies and actively silencing women .

smithsinarazz Sat 24-Feb-18 15:17:50

Shedalight - with you on all points.
Just one thing: LGB people shouldn't have to lead the movement, but I'm really glad, being straight, that LGB people are part of it. A) because if not, that would imply that our concerns about homophobia and coerced transition, etc., were misplaced b) because otherwise it could look terribly like the tyranny of the majority, straight people saying everyone ought to be straight.

SecretTerf Sat 24-Feb-18 15:21:15

That’s a good question who’s paying. I’ll try and find out but I suspect it’s an organisation we’re linked to.

The consensus seems to be to go and take copious notes if I don’t feel brave enough to challenge it at the time. The pluses are that yes, my organisation does want to be more inclusive and also that I’m taken seriously so if I tell my boss I think it shouldn’t be rolled out it probably won’t be.

As I said, I’m just so sad as a lesbian that it’s come to this. Five years ago I’d have been all over the chance to support Stonewall training.

thebewilderness Sun 25-Feb-18 02:32:00

On the other hand, going might give me the chance to feed back to my bosses about the training and whether it is suitable to be rolled out - if it's too nuts I have a chance to stop it.
I think this is exactly right. Stonewall appears to have dropped the LGB and is exclusively promoting Transgender beliefs. It would be good if you fact checked them and reported back to your boss. Not enough people are fact checking these advocacy organizations.

morningrunner Sun 25-Feb-18 07:03:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dogendsaredogs Sun 25-Feb-18 10:12:48

Maybe you find it as enlightening as these women did!

UpABitLate Sun 25-Feb-18 16:06:26

I go to some LGBT work stuff sometimes and there is nothing more depressing than see a room full of earnest gay men and lesbians listen to stonewall go on and on and on and on about trans and not mention lesbians or gay men once.

Hulo Sun 25-Feb-18 19:36:53

I've been nominated to go on something similar specifically for straight allies at work. I know my company is paying.

I don't know if I've been chosen to go yet. In theory, it is a great idea but...

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