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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What has happened to you in the last year that wouldn’t have happened if you were a man?

123 replies

LeslieKnopefan · 14/02/2018 02:19

As I have become more interested in feminism I have started to realise that there are times that things happen to me that wouldn’t happen to a man.

In the past year...

Walked to the toilets in a bar and a group of blokes wouldn’t let me pass, kept making jokes and saying they wouldn’t let me pass without giving my number. I’m in my 30s and this was in a very naice bar!

Started a chant at a sports game, and generally sung my heart out. Had a bloke tell me to shut up and other blokes look at me like I was from outer space. On the plus side had some women see me in the pub later and tell me how much they enjoyed me starting the singing.

OP posts:

Report

Coyoacan · 14/02/2018 03:09

The great thing about being old is that I don't have be on the look-out when I walk down the street anymore.

Being a woman though, I am the grandparent who generally has to supply the babysitting.

TerfyMcTerface · 14/02/2018 03:14

Fobbed off by GP over massive fibroid causing apocalyptic bleeding.

Meanwhile DH has every little niggle taken seriously when he visits the doctor.

thebewilderness · 14/02/2018 03:31

For me that would be the rape and death threats on line. I will be 72 in April so this ain't my first rodeo.

monkeysee100 · 14/02/2018 03:33

All the bloody wifework which will only be exacerbated when I finish maternity leave.

LeslieKnopefan · 14/02/2018 03:40

thebewilderness - so sorry to hear that. There are so many cowards on the internet who feel they can say things they would never say to someone in real life.

OP posts:

LostPlatypus · 14/02/2018 04:08

All the shit I get online including rape threats like thebewilderness.

Getting my gender questioned due to the way I dress (by a man) and referred to as "it" in the process.

Being harassed by the man who delivers my medication who made comments about my flat, my medication and just simply said "you need help".

Being ID'd when collecting medication (morphine). To be fair I'm still not 100% sure why this happened but the person in front of me collecting similar meds wasn't ID'd so I'm guessing it was a gender question thing again, which could happen to a man but would a man really question another man? I swear although I am reasonably androgynous in looks/dress I was wearing a bright purple coat, carrying a handbag and have a high voice. Oh and I'm not much over 5 foot. I also get pissed off being misgendered apparently!

LostPlatypus · 14/02/2018 04:09

Oh for goodness sake. There were paragraphs in that. Silly app.

LeslieKnopefan · 14/02/2018 04:16

Don’t worry can see the paragraphs!

The death threats are so scary. I wonder how we ever encourage women into politics or to give their views when death threats now seem to be the norm!

OP posts:

Achafi · 14/02/2018 04:21

I was stopped from a promotion that I'd worked really hard for because I was on maternity.

Njordsgrrrl · 14/02/2018 04:22

Trivial maybe but I got accosted by a man in his sixties for vaping of all things. "You're still addicted to nicotine my love" blah blah. Thanks to MN I got him telt to go into the vape shop opposite and mansplain his ideas to the pierced tattooed v big men in there. He declined strangely, the cock.

LeslieKnopefan · 14/02/2018 04:34

Good for you Njord!

I get my sports knowledge questioned by men a lot.

Oh and I’m sure I’ve been told to smile but that has become such an every month occurrence I hardly even remember!

OP posts:

LeslieKnopefan · 14/02/2018 04:38

Thought of another...

As part of my job had my photo taken with a very famous sportsman, I can’t stand the man but hey part of my job and it was for the local paper.

The photographer asked him if he minded me putting my arms round him, to which he just shrugged. I looked at the photographer and said erm are you going to ask me if that’s ok too?!?! Think it was partly because I was female and partly because I’m sure the photographer thought it would be some sort of treat for me to put my arm round such a famous person - it wasn’t!

OP posts:

LostPlatypus · 14/02/2018 04:42

Oh yeah the "just smile love". Er, no thanks.

IAmSpartaCis · 14/02/2018 06:02

30 year old woman here...

Honked at while out walking my dog late at night by teenage boys/young men driving around in their cars.

Told to smile or cheer up or whistled at when passing men on the street.

Having my mood 'explained' as 'that time of the month'. It wasn't. The person in question just offends EVERY fibre of my being, like at a molecular level.

Being branded a 'bitch' for calling out a mans sexist views.

Having a car salesman look right through me and give my dad the presidential treatment, despite ME being the one car shopping and having the money, and despite ME knowing exactly what I wanted and knowing the ins and outs of said car

Having a male neighbour of mine shout and ball at me aggressively. I gave as good as I got, but he absolutely wilted when my highly pissed off dad (who was at my house teaching me to change the belt on my broken washing machine at the time) appeared at the front door and confronted him, demanding to know if he had the balls to speak to him that way, or if he was just targeting me knowing I was a single woman who lived alone. I've never heard anybody stutter so much. It's beautiful to watch a bully get put in their place The funny thing is, my dad wouldn't harm a fly and I am not some delicate flower who ever needs rescuing. But my dad knew his type - it was a game of alphas, and only a man was going to make the likes of that twat back right off.

Pittcuecothecookbook · 14/02/2018 06:04

Got pregnant

BeHappyMummy · 14/02/2018 06:05

Being told how to park my car.

bookgirl1982 · 14/02/2018 06:12

Asked if I had children in a job interview. Didn't get that job. (In a school...)

DayManAahhh · 14/02/2018 06:27

I had an episode of hormone induced psychosis (I was on a hormone treatment and stopped suddenly) and had to stay in hospital for treatment. (This alone wouldn't happen to a man.) During my stay I would go to a large communal area which put on activities for all wards. Something fun to kill the time. I was approached 3 times by a young man, a good ten years younger than me at 21, who repeatedly asked for my number and if he could visit me on my ward. He didn't ask me if he could visit me on the ward though, oh no. He asked a male member of hospital staff nearby for permission I had shown zero interest and declined politely the first time yet he continued to try on two occasions. All this whilst I was quite ill and missing my partner and young child.

I did not see any of the women even approaching the tables where the men were, let alone harassing them repeatedly.

It's like a man can't even be prised away from women and the prospect of sex long enough to recover from an illness/accident.

CisMyArse · 14/02/2018 06:41

Bled through to a chair in work. Tranexamix acid makes me vomit.

Went on a staff 50th to city nightspot for a random bloke to grind pass me and shove his hand down the back of my jeans and into my knickers.

Happened in seconds but took me ages to process.

CisMyArse · 14/02/2018 06:44

And some blocks pulled up alongside me by the traffic lights and spat at my window because I wouldn't 'allow'
Him to force pass me on a narrow road some miles before. Truth is, it was rush hour, I didn't see him behind me.

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 14/02/2018 07:02

Attended a job interview where they knew I had a young DD. Was asked if I still have "Baby Brain".

Bought a car, and the salesman sneaked through the paperwork for insurance that I'd said categorically that I didn't want.

Had to cancel a day out due to crippling period pains.

TERFousBreakdown · 14/02/2018 07:12

Actually saw myself forced to say the following out loud: "I'm afraid you will have to address your requests to me; I'm the manager. [Original addressee] is my graduate trainee and doesn't have any decision making power.'

... and felt awkward about it, too!

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SweetGrapes · 14/02/2018 07:20

Lurking on the feminist board having my blood pressure shoot up

Constatly questioning whether I should cut hours down or give up paid work altogether

Not being able to shoot for promotion as I can't do all the little extras it takes.... despite being miles and miles and miles better than my colleagues in the same band. Thinking I really need to change jobs or else I will be reporting to one of the sods soon.

Runningshorts · 14/02/2018 07:24

I was grabbed and held round the waist by a sixty year old man, a stranger, as I was holding my newborn baby. He didn't let go for ages despite me trying to wriggle away (with nervous laughter and placating noises of course, this is someone who worked at an entertainment place who I'd been having a polite conversation with). My main focus was keeping a tight hold on my tiny baby... And not angering him I guess.

Wouldn't have happened to a man.

JaimesGoldenHand · 14/02/2018 07:25

Being talked over by three men less expert than me on a particular subject.

Having my bum "admired" loudly when cycling to work.

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