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Really important video on detrasitioned child

(21 Posts)
AdalindSchade Tue 12-Sep-17 02:46:54

Only 15 minutes long. Please watch, if you're on the fence, if you think affirmation for children is the right approach.

AdalindSchade Tue 12-Sep-17 07:29:45

Bumping because posted at 3 am during insomnia bout

TimbuktuTimbuktu Tue 12-Sep-17 08:45:46

Thanks for posting. Well worth a watch. I hope this little boy grows up to love himself and his body despite all he has gone through.

retreatwhispering Tue 12-Sep-17 20:19:58

Wow. That poor boy and his poor mother. What terrible advice they were given. She really thought that she was doing the best for him.

This should be shown to any teen wishing to transition.

AdalindSchade Tue 12-Sep-17 20:47:20

It blows my mind that any mother could think that giving her son unlicensed hormones so his skeleton would stop growing and he would grow breasts is ever the right thing to do. How have we come to this?
That boy knew he was different to other boys. Yes he was! He's a feminine boy! Quite likely to be gay. And that's fine! It's perfectly fine to be a feminine, gay boy. It doesn't make you a girl. How have we gone so far wrong with children?

retreatwhispering Wed 13-Sep-17 10:23:30

Appalling. I agree. If only they had been advised by a sensible doctor like the one in the programme. They needed to hear 'it's okay, he'll be fine. Let him grow his hair and wear dresses. He's good just as he is'.

Ineedacupofteadesperately Wed 13-Sep-17 11:02:18

Shame they didn't specifically say that what he needed was counselling and not hormones. Emotions and how you feel change so much in puberty when did it become a good idea to do whatever kids say they want?

Also so sad that society is so messed up in giving kids messages about what girls and boys should do that he felt his only option if he didn't fit the boy box was to be a girl. Sad the scene with the shoes - he felt he could only buy women's shoes as a girl - why? I buy "boys" shoes and had two babies so definitely female! This boy / girl marketing shit is really scarily far reaching and needs to be called out for the total bullshit it is.

Sunkisses Wed 13-Sep-17 14:20:42

Wow, how seriously fucked up. Now having to have his breasts cut off as his mum illegally gave him her oestrogen tablets. More support needed for gender non-conforming children - not chemicals.

Tika77 Wed 13-Sep-17 15:02:54

I agree with Ineedacup, this boy needed therapy from that point. I am concerned about how parents seem to jump into massive changes with kids as young as 8.
I know when I was a teenager I hated my body, I thought I was fat, I had too much body hair etc. I wouldn't allow my kid to do anything drastic to their body and I hate that there isn't much more counselling available....

HornyTortoise Thu 14-Sep-17 10:32:11

It blows my mind that any mother could think that giving her son unlicensed hormones so his skeleton would stop growing and he would grow breasts is ever the right thing to do. How have we come to this?

I have no doubts that the mother will have been scared by the false 'transkid' suicide stats that are bandied around sad

Obviously therapy is the answer for kids questioning stuff like this. Sadly, therapy is seen as akin to conversion therapy now, thanks to a loud few misogynistic men who care not a bit about the poor kids they are disfiguring in the process of seeking validation for their own fetish. Kids are just a pawn in this whole thing, and its so sad that so many buy into it.

Yes there may be the existance of kids who will persist in the gender dysphoria into adulthood. THATS when decisions should be made. I have nothing against adults deciding on what is basically...cosmetic surgery. My issue is with setting kids on the route to this. Blockers should be illegal outside a medical reason (REAL medical reason, such as what they are meant to be used for, which is from memory, to help treat cancer and such in children) and hormone therapy should be illegal before the age of 18.

YetAnotherSpartacus Tue 19-Sep-17 15:28:19

Fantastic video. A must see. Patrick was lovely and the Professor who was interviewed was a breath of reason!

Italiangreyhound Tue 19-Sep-17 19:06:55

That poor boy and his poor mum. I do 't think anyone would do what they did lightly.

Beingrippedoff Thu 21-Sep-17 12:56:55

Wow that video should be compulsory for anyone involved in making decisions about gender dysphoric kids. A suicidal boy and instead of therapy he gets hormones which permanently change his body, and no doubt increase his chance of future cancers. Absolutely shocking but I really wish him and his mum well. She must have been desperate to help him and the professional help was sadly lacking

Terrylene Thu 21-Sep-17 13:42:58

I have no doubts that the mother will have been scared by the false 'transkid' suicide stats that are bandied around sad

I think this bandying around of suicide statistics with so little solid meaning is irresponsible. It is a huge worry for a parent that their child, that they have nurtured and treasured towards adulthood all these years should take their life and be gone. Any reputable organisation such as the Samaritans would have commissioned reliable research and presented it far more carefully.

The recent findings of the millennium child study, that 1 in 10 boys are reporting depression and 1 in 4 girls, at the age of 14, shows the sort of background that throwing these suicide claims at.

MadamMinacious Thu 21-Sep-17 15:02:24

Thank you for posting this OP, very interesting and confirms what a lot of us feel about the approach to children.

It's a shame that a lot of TRAs seem against treatment for the mental health aspect (claiming they just ARE the wrong gender) rather than talking therapy to help them feel more comfortable in themselves like we approach other forms of dysphoria.

I am also tired of that false suicide statistic being brandished as a weapon towards anyone who suggests there are alternative , less dramatic approaches than transitioning (or starting medication with a view to transitioning) for unhappy children (and adults).

steppemum Thu 21-Sep-17 15:22:04

One of the things that this highlights is how the media really only present cardboard cutouts of what it means to be male:
spots hero,
macho man
funny gay best friend

we dont' see gentle feminine men on our screens, we don't offer alternative role models for boys who don't fit in.

And it is much more often boys than girls isn't it?

Stopmakingsense Thu 21-Sep-17 18:01:03

I have only caught a little but my heart sank today when I heard the drama on Woman's Hour this week - it is called "Just a Girl", about a transgender girl (born male). In the 10 minutes I was listening I heard the mother say to a hostile person "How would feel if your child was born transgender?" (i.e. asserting that this is a biological thing - not proven). Also the child fancying a boy (i.e. actually gay). I will listen to the whole thing, as I am sure it portrays very sensitively the difficulties the family faces as they first come to terms with it, then triumph against bigotry. I think Mermaids were involved.

I am writing to Woman's Hour asking them if they could debate or commission a drama about a biological female teenager who is struggling with her gender identity / mental health and then over time comes to terms with the body she was born with, possibly as a lesbian and/or simply gender non-conforming.

Or indeed about the crushing weight of stereotypes which means a sensitive boy can think he is female.

Terrylene Thu 21-Sep-17 18:13:24

I am sure there was something on the 3pm R4 news yesterday about gender stereotypes being damaging - not sure where that went.

Terrylene Fri 22-Sep-17 09:03:19

It was a Girl Guide survey

Terrylene Fri 22-Sep-17 09:14:29

Or the Global Early Adolescence Study at John Hopkins

BMacklin Fri 22-Sep-17 22:09:47

Good for you stop and thanks to OP and terry for those links. All very interesting. I don't see how people can't see the link between all of this, specifically what terry posted and the trans narrative.

We are somehow, for some reason, pushing gender stereotypes on children. Of course they then think they need to change sex if they don't conform. Insanity!

Society needs to change. Not the sex of our children.

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