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Married to a secret feeder help! Anyone else?

(26 Posts)
littleoysterslittleoysters Sat 14-Jan-17 11:16:57

I am desperate to lose about 6 stone. I have put on 2st since having a baby last year. I am breastfeeding and had some PND which I was on meds for, which I think added to the weight gain but my big problem is my husband buying me chocolate all the time!
He constantly tells me I am gorgeous but isn't a larger lady worshipper as far as I know. I have begged him not to buy me the sweets but he continues on. Probably to sate the beast in me I suppose!
Anyone else have a loving feeder in the family. Any tips?!?!?! I need to get motivated for my son, but with all the chocolate and love I am overwhelmingly unarsed 50% of the time. I just see myself getting fatter and fatter. Someone kick me up the bum/give me hope/advice?

SorrelSoup Sat 14-Jan-17 11:21:52

Keep a bottle of bleach handy and cover them in it as soon as he gives it you. It stops you eating it and gives a strong message. Don't worry about upsetting him as he isn't listening to you or being supportive.

littleoysterslittleoysters Sat 14-Jan-17 11:24:55

Bleach the chocolate!!!???! OMG well if i did it once maybe it would stop him.... Arrrrrrggggghhhh.... That would feel so wrong.

KatieScarlett Sat 14-Jan-17 11:26:18

I say "thank you darling" and throw it out.
He's none the wiser.

Lilaclily Sat 14-Jan-17 11:27:11

Put it in a cupboard and donate to a food bank , feel proud of yourself

gamerchick Sat 14-Jan-17 11:30:32

How much do you want it?

If you do that then he'll stop buying you it.

My husband prefers larger ladies and tries to feed me up sometimes. I have no issues bringing him down to earth with a thump.

littleoysterslittleoysters Sat 14-Jan-17 11:33:15

Food bank is a great idea. I just want to be able to control myself. I have been dieting since I was six FFS. I'm tired with the baby and tired of being fat.

littleoysterslittleoysters Sat 14-Jan-17 11:35:24

I have joined WW/SW Like 6 times since the baby has been born and given up within 2 days.

SorrelSoup Sat 14-Jan-17 11:42:49

In theory the foodbank is a great idea but will it make it there? I wouldn't have that willpower. Mfp could be for you. It's free and you don't have to go anywhere.

Laniakea Sat 14-Jan-17 11:47:27

if you put it away for the food bank you will end up eating it and it will provide him encouragement to carry on.

"I can't eat this, please don't buy me anymore" & immediately chuck it in the bin (preferably below something unpleasant).

You won't eat the chocolate, he will get the message - eventually - repeat as many times as it takes.

SorrelSoup Sat 14-Jan-17 11:53:34

Yes, a cupboard full of chocolates...shock

You need to make it inedible immediately.

MissDallas Sat 14-Jan-17 11:58:06

I would say "thanks" then put the chocolate straight in the bin. In front of him.

Then remind him that being overweight is not healthy.

MrAliBongo Sat 14-Jan-17 17:48:44

Sorrel, I read your first post as "keep a bottle of bitch handy"! And that's how I would deal with it. Actually, I have done. My husband used to do similar, and bugger the begging... I had to get properly angry before he realised I was genuinely upset and that he was causing it. Nowadays he slips up now and then, but it just takes a hmm face to get him to apologise and back off.

State your boundaries, explain them if you choose, but then police them until he gets the message. He's NOT being loving, whatever his intent, he's sabotaging you.

LOVE MissD's suggestion of putting them in the bin in front of him.

Bluntness100 Sat 14-Jan-17 17:54:07

Sweetie, if you were desperate to lose the weight, you'd get the message across. If uou give up diets after two days, can't be arsed half the time, then you are not desperate to lose it.

And that's fine. You need to be honest with yourself on what's your priority.

Blacksox Sat 14-Jan-17 17:55:08

God how annoying.

I am slim but my husband knows never to buy me chocolate. I took all our christmas chocolate into work on my first day back.

I like the idea of donating your chocolate to a food bank, but frankly, your husband needs to stop being an arse and listen to you. 6 stone overweight is a lot - you need support to lose this weight, not encouragement to do the opposite.

Have a serious word with him.

littleoysterslittleoysters Tue 17-Jan-17 22:30:57

6 stone overweight is a lot - Oh really I didn't know that. Thanks for the tip.

Yoarchie Tue 17-Jan-17 22:37:32

I am fat op. But really it's slim people like blacksox that we need to listen to. Would it be an option for you to take the choc into work like she does?

Chocolate is fucking delicious. It takes immense will power not to devour it if you are an eater. But if you can go a couple of weeks or so without having any, stuff like a banana will start to taste better than a banana tastes now. It won't taste as good as choc but if you are hungry and have gone without too much sugary/sweet stuff for a while, your body can adjust.

I would ask your dh not to buy it and ask him to help you lose weight.

littleoysterslittleoysters Tue 17-Jan-17 22:47:40

I don't need the bleeding obvious stated at me by smug persons, thin or not thin. I know what I am, that wasn't my question.

He has not bought much in the last few days and I went back to SW today so finger crossed he has got the hint. If he doesn't stop then I like the food bank idea!

Artandco Tue 17-Jan-17 22:57:02

Just don't eat it. You don't have to eat anything just because it's there.
But yes just say to him ' Dh, seriously stop buying me crap' and Bin otherwise.
Also get a jogging buggy and can take up fast walking and jogging daily with baby. Baby gets fresh air, you get 2 hr fast walk/ jog. Win win

EllenAshSky1 Tue 31-Jan-17 15:35:36

Hi!
My partner seems to prefer me not on a diet!? He tells me I'm happier when I can eat what I want... who isn't!!
People can say "don't eat it just because it's there"
"How much do you want to lose weight!?" Etc as, you can be 100% focused, have a blip and eat it!!! Because... it's there!!!
If it wasn't being bought it wouldn't ever get eaten- I so get it because my partner was the same!!!!
I sat him down and said to him, I HAVE to
Lose weight and I need your support. I understand you like to make me happy and that you like to buy me treats etc but I'd prefer none of that and just the support, every day tell me you're proud I've done well and it will motivate me to carry on. On a fri or sat we can have a treat together! But other than that please just support me as much as you can as I NEED it."
It worked!
Hopefully you can do the same?
Good luck smile

womanwithoutasong Thu 02-Feb-17 11:41:09

If anyone buys me chocolate I just say thank you and then put it (opened) straight in the cat litter or bin it and pour washing up liquid on it.

user1485102013 Thu 02-Feb-17 11:53:33

When I receive chocolate I open it up and put it in a nappy sack along with dd's dirty nappies then throw it in the wheelie bin.

pasanda Thu 02-Feb-17 18:32:55

Surely, just don't eat it confused

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Feb-17 18:41:41

Op, I think you're being a bit mean, black sox didn't just tell you six stone is a lot, that was only the first part of the sentance her point was you need support to lose it not someone sabotaging it. Which led on from her point of uour husband has to stop and listen to you and her advice to have a serious word with him.

There was nothing smug about it.🙄

Emmageddon Thu 02-Feb-17 19:14:28

You have to tell him not to buy the stuff - if he wants to treat you, he can buy perfume, bath oils, candles, whatever you like that isn't edible. If you are unhappy being overweight, talk to him about how you feel.

I am going to Slimming World and it is the easiest way to lose weight, you just need to learn what you cane at, what you need to buy, stock the cupboards with it, and get cracking. I am a fattie heading for being several stone lighter by the end of the year. Also going to meetings is a good way of making friends and getting a diet buddy or two.

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