I weigh 15 stone 7 which I'm pretty sure is my heaviest ever :( (I am not a religious weigher and only bought scales in November).
I have been trying to lose weight for at least 10 years, since I was 16, and I'm just down in the dumps today because I don't understand what is going wrong. I tried wearing jeans today (size 16) but they were just too tight and uncomfortable and I couldn't play with the baby.
I always have eaten well and exercised (since living away from home age 18), so in November I joined Slimming World as nothing was really working. First time I'd ever done a diet plan thing. I lost 8lb in the 6 weeks to Christmas, put 4lb on over Christmas, then was completely on plan through January and didn't lose an ounce. Gave up in February, so lost 4lb overall over 3 months on SW.
Then in March I was given the OK to exercise again after having had DS in May '15. So I joined the gym and got a personal trainer. She is awesome and I love her. She did my body stats using this machine thing. She's getting back from the summer holidays on 12th September so really looking forward to that and will ask her to do my stats again to see if anything has changed for the better. She coaches me on my food as well as my exercise which is really great. She agrees I already eat well.
A few months back I decided that maybe a challenge/deadline would help, so I said I would lose 34lb in 34 weeks (should be perfectly doable if doing a SW type plan), as we had a holiday 34 weeks away. After a few weeks of no losses that fell by the wayside.
I've been going to the gym 4-5x a week and on the days I don't I'm still busy running around after my toddler, walking to park etc. I always get in more than 10k steps a day, always eat a lot less than my TDEE, always burn what MFP says I should. My Fitbit syncs to my MFP and they both say I'm doing well.
Anyway our holiday is coming up in November '16 and I'm just blue because when I started SW back in November '15 I thought in a years time I would look and feel a whole lot better. But if anything it's worse, I've put 5lb on since I started SW. It's just the same year in year out, but a bit worse each year. If I keep going like this then in 10 years I will be in a terrible state.
The only time I've ever lost weight was for my wedding. I ate a normal breakfast, half a grilled chicken breast with peas and sweet corn for lunch, and a normal homemade dinner as far as I remember, off a side plate. I didn't do much more exercise than I do now. I was still a size 16, barely a 14, but felt good. That was the only phase I've ever experienced a loose waist band and wow, that feels nice doesn't it!
I just don't think I'm trying hard enough. I need more ideas of what to try. I've read a food addiction book and CBT-related book which was really good. I've taken up mindfulness to ensure I don't mindlessly binge, which I didn't really do much ever. I have PT-approved cereal for breakfast, salad or occasionally homemade soup for lunch, and a normal homemade dinner. No snacks generally, but also I do want to live my life and go out for coffee with friends sometimes and not always say no when a biscuit is offered. I drink shitloads of water and have always just eaten clean, natural, unprocessed, healthy foods (except for the SW stint, but even that is quite wholesome I think).
My PT says it doesn't matter what the scale says, I know I am perfectly healthy and I'm strong, but it DOES matter. I want another baby next year and if I'm 15 stone surely they'll put me under consultant care due to high BMI. I would be so embarrassed and ashamed (not saying anyone else in that situation should be). I'm surprised they didn't when I was pregnant with DS (13+ stone and BMI of 33, so obese).
I'm just feeling blue and a bit fragile today, and I am going out for dinner with some new friends tonight and am worried because they're both so slim and I'm just a lump. DH says I was bigger than I am now when we met 9 years ago, but I have certainly never weighed more than this.
Off to put the baby down for a nap and do a fitnessblender workout - can't go to the gym/Creche this week as DS has hand, foot and mouth.
Well done if you got this far. Thanks. Don't know what I'm asking really. PT is back in a week or so but in the interim I just need some support I guess.
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I weight 15st 7 - Big self indulgent monologue about how fat I am :(
181 replies
BendydickCuminsnatch · 01/09/2016 11:57
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