Any of this sound familiar?

[MozzieMagnet]

Hello there.

My DC (5 yrs) has the following tendencies/triggers...

1. Cannot stand clothes labels - have to be cut off
2. Cannot stand clothes that are too tight/too loose
3. Limited food choices, will only eat a few things even when hungry
4. Complains on occasion of places being too loud
5. Hates being told No
6. Hates being told off
7. When does not get their way/something does not match their expectations, they either bolt (run off) or go on strike (lie on floor)
8. No sense of danger/impulsive
9. After either freezing or fleeing, or not getting their way: will escalate to kicking, punching, biting

10. Constant negotiating/blackmail to get their way 11. Need to 'hide'/ be alone when stressed 12. Nocturnal 13. Obsessed with screen time 14. Limited interest in social activities unless they choose it 15. Inventive - imagines new monster hybrids/new inventions 16. Over interest in certain topics eg Pokemon 17. Anxious in new situations 18. Preschool refusal 19. Need to be in control 20. Refusal to take medicine, either tablet or syrup form 21. Heavy persuasion needed for teeth brushing/showering 22. Squats while crouched on toilet seat rather than sitting on it 23. Will not learn language of country we are in (not UK) 24. Not doing much beyond scribbling but can write their name 25. Expect to be picked up/go on shoulders a lot

They do/are able to

1. Make eye contact
2. Very verbal/good vocabulary
3. Good recall except for when asked why they got angry/reacted in a certain way
4. Can play dominoes, game of life, operation but gets angry with rules/not winning
5. Responds to humour
6. Offers affection/sometimes shows empathy
7. Says sorry/sometimes shows remorse
8. Sense of humour/finds things funny
9. Loves water/swimming

10. Likes music/dancing 11. Can use a scooter 12. Excellent climber

Which of the above would be causing you concern and why?

Thanks in advance

Anything that is making your life and your DC's life very difficult, I would be concerned about. For me, it is my DC's anxiety that makes life very difficult. No sense of danger is very concerning for a 5 year old! Have you spoken to a doctor or the school about your concerns?

As pp said, if you are concerned I would talk to your DC's school or go and tell them your above list.

I would also read the 'out of sync child'. Some of the things you've listed could be sensory issues.

Thanks.
Due a 60 month check so will bring it back up then.
Not due at school until Sept 2019 but need to try and get into a preschool the upcoming year.
Sensory issues/gifted/ EBD came up but autism dismissed as he makes eye contact.
I wanted an objective response, sorry about the drip feed, I am asking whether any of the above flagged Aspergers/PDA to you (the latter of which won't even have been heard of outside of the UK/Nottingham).

The lack of danger is really the constant running off when things fo not go their way/they don't want to do something or have been told off for something.
Except for climbing/jumping they are aware of the road/water/sockets/bleach/platform being dangers but not the physical danger of hiding/bolting in the first place (baddies/stranger danger is seen as ''I can fight them off'' and no fear of actually not being found (i always find him).
But just the getting dressed-getting out-picking up sibling can be a mammoth exhausting task and I need to be aware of every variable as they can switch at the drop of a hat.

My ds is nearly 5 with a diagnosis of ASD and there are similarities to your child on both lists, although mine is only partially verbal and is sensory seeking not averse. Really the only way you can know is if someone carries out a multidisciplinary assessment. Who told you it wasn't autism?

What you may find in any case is that things that help children with autism may help your child. Like reading about sensory issues and putting in place a sensory diet, maybe try and get an appointment with an OT if possible. Using visual timetables and social stories might help with some of the behavioural stuff.

Paediatrician dismissed ASD January after a check up because ''he makes eye contact'' (15 mins obs)
An SENCO equivalent said he was gifted with sensory issues/anxiety.
His imagination ruled out ASD for her.

It's a tricky one. My ds has a good imagination and is very creative but he can also be quite rigid in the way he thinks.

I wouldn't underestimate the sensory issues. Although my ds is Autistic I would say that the sensory processing issues are probably the biggest hurdle for him. He's been seeing an Ot for just over a year now and it has made a huge difference to his overall happiness, ability to learn and his behaviour.

1. Cannot stand clothes labels - have to be cut off
2. Cannot stand clothes that are too tight/too loose
3. Limited food choices, will only eat a few things even when hungry

- eats a greater variety of foods now.

1. Complains on occasion of places being too loud

5.Hates being told No as a child

1. Hates being told off as a child
2. When does not get their way/something does not match their expectations, they either bolt (run off) or go on strike (lie on floor)
3. No sense of danger/impulsive - had no sense of danger a child
4. After either freezing or fleeing, or not getting their way: will escalate to kicking, punching, biting

10. Constant negotiating/blackmail to get their way 11. Need to 'hide'/ be alone when stressed 12. Nocturnal 13. Obsessed with screen time 14.Limited interest in social activities unless they choose it 15. Inventive - imagines new monster hybrids/new inventions 16. Over interest in certain topics eg Pokemon 17.Anxious in new situations 18. Preschool refusal 19. Need to be in control 20. Refusal to take medicine, either tablet or syrup form 21. Heavy persuasion needed for teeth brushing/showering 22. Squats while crouched on toilet seat rather than sitting on it 23. Will not learn language of country we are in (not UK) struggled with learning foreign languagesat school, but now happily learning Spanish at college (as a child found it very scary being in a French supermarket hearing different languages being spoken around him) 24. Not doing much beyond scribbling but can write their name 25. Expect to be picked up/go on shoulders a lot - hated walking anywhere as a child but now loves long walks in the countryside

They do/are able to

1. Make eye contact Didn't as a small child but does now
2. Very verbal/good vocabulary
3. Good recall except for when asked why they got angry/reacted in a certain way
4. Can play dominoes, game of life, operation but gets angry with rules/not winning Couldn't cope with not winning as a child
5. Responds to humour better as he has grown older
6. Offers affection/sometimes shows empathy
7. Says sorry/sometimes shows remorse
8. Sense of humour/finds things funny
9. Loves water/swimming

10. Likes music/dancing 11. Can use a scooter 12. Excellent climber

My son is now 23, but all the areas I have highlighted have applied at some point in his life, and some still do. He was diagnosed with autism when he was 7.

A lot of the other things you mention like running off, biting, obsessions with screens are common among children with autism too.

Whoever said he wasn't autistic because he makes eye contact was talking bollocks and clearly knows nothing about autism.

All children are different and all children with autism are different.

With regards to getting dressed /picking up sibling etc it may help if you tell him (several times)beforehand what is going to happen.

"You are going to have breakfast. After breakfast we will go to the bathroom and you will get washed. Then you will get dressed. First you will put on your pants, then your t shirt...etc. You could make a visual timetable with pictures or photographs of everything in sequence, so he knows what is going to happen next.

Tell him first thing in the morning. "When it is 3 o' clock we are going to pick X up. After we have picked X up we will come back home". Keep telling him throughout the day. It is wearing but it becomes habit after a while and I found it was easier to do than coping with meltdowns because of something that had been sprung on him.

I was told at one seminar that sensory issues were as much a part of autism as the triad of impairment.

Paediatrician dismissed ASD January after a check up because ''he makes eye contact' (15 mins obs)
That's absolute rubbish. they need re-training on how ASD presents.
15 min obs is nothing, there are loads of tests which should be done before anyone can make a diagnosis.

An SENCO equivalent said he was gifted with sensory issues/anxiety
They are not qualified to diagnose, so that's one person's opinion, not a diagnosis.

The lack of danger is really the constant running off when things fo not go their way/they don't want to do something or have been told off for something
In my experience of one dc with autism, I'd say the running off is caused by total overwhelm and is the flight or fight response kicking in. at the moment they decide to run, they desperately need to get away from whatever is causing the overwhelm and at that moment they really cannot think of anything else except getting away.

It's hardly surprising that parents are confused about who can diagnose autism. SENCOs and nursery nurses can apply tests, similar to the ones online, so they can have an idea that a child MAY present with some SN traits, but they are not qualified to diagnose. They cannot say a child is or is not autistic, dyslexic, dyspraxic, has ADHD or anything else.

Thank you both of you.
The country I am in is somewhat behind the UK re ASD but I have found one organisation which might be able to help me. Or we come home.
Those of you whose children have a diagnosis, how loud is their usual voice?

Voice loudness depends on the anxiety level or excitement level.
Voice pitch can be very high but monotone and rushed words all tumbling together can be hard to understand.
Anxiety voice can be like C-3PO on speed

Hi mozzie, it sounds like your son has many autistic traits. I would push forward for another opinion. Many children don't meet the criteria first time, then eventually do. It can depend on the professional unfortunately.

He sounds just like me son, from the running to the biting to the sebsory issues. Spd is another diagnosis you look toward? This can be diagnosed separately in some places. Sensory issues alone can cause many behaviors.

An ASD diagnosis is only as useful as the support it provides. It's a label for a collection of symptoms.

Theres nothing to stop you using many of the supports for an ASD diagnosis even if you don't have it. So things like pecs makaton sand timers,

oops pecs card(use it for good oops as well as bad) to work with change.

Play games with short quick rounds and little emotional investment or try co OPswhere you win or lose together (eg forbidden island). initially give a structure to losing (this is what we do when we lose, say good game shake hands go on you can DVD now) that ends up I a comfort activity for him

Dont set up choice no negotiation but use makaton strips to make it clear they get back to where they want to be in the end (eg car shop home/tablet). Keep them simple you can build them longer as they become more practiced with them. If you do give choice do it with pecs (porridge or cereal) or the actual items. Give time for processing a response.

Set up the things that DC finds challenging in a limited safe way with you there for support on a day when other demands are low. Decide what you want to work on lower all other demands. E.g. don't do everything all at once. Start with pecs and makaton strips (asd bright ideas). Make a game to one thing you do out of the child's comfort zone.